


Falling Rain

by 5wans_Kenobe



Series: House of Kenobi [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Has Issues, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is a Mess, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghost(s), Lightly twisted around the edges, Lots of Force Spirits, Netherworld, Not Canon Compliant, Poe Dameron is a bit promiscuous, Qui-Gon Jinn is a beast, Rey Needs A Hug, Rose Tico has a new BFF, Slow Burn Rey/Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-02-23 04:35:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 75
Words: 58,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23105767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5wans_Kenobe/pseuds/5wans_Kenobe
Summary: In the space of a single breath, Ben understood.The words deserved to be spoken out loud. “You’re grieving for me.” His words echoed in the small room.< This is a sequel to Visitation >
Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn/Original Female Character(s), Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: House of Kenobi [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1808278
Comments: 49
Kudos: 47
Collections: Rey/Ben Solo, Reylo





	1. Connection

↣ 

In death, Ben was falling. He didn’t know where; only that he was falling away from her. He tried to reach out, one final whisper but the tether had been cut.

↣ ↣ ↣

She couldn’t remember the last time she had experienced true silence since she had left Jakku. Desert winds whooshed softly, blending with the gentle chirps and whirls of BB8 as it moved through the old Skywalker dwelling. It warbled as it encountered the hand woven carpets. Rey's heart ached looking down at the carefully crafted rugs. Who had woven them by hand? Whoever it was had worked hard to make this desolate dwelling into a home.

↣ ↣ ↣

Her flight to Tatooine had been impulsive. Born out of pure exhaustion and grief. She couldn’t stay at the celebrations. Listening to triumphant toasts, the cheers, the endless congratulations. Even surrounded by her friends, she had never felt so alone in her entire life. Tatooine was where she needed to be. She sighed, gratefully accepting the discomfort of sand shifting in her old boots. 

She had brought water, some protein bars and food capsules with her but nothing more. BB8 rolled to a storage room and she followed. Inside were ancient packets of dried fruits, dehydrated breads and a flask of wine. She opened the wine, inhaling the murky, vinegary smell. Maybe this would dull her pain.

 ** _I wouldn’t drink that if I were you._** A low voice echoed in her mind.

Rey jumped. “Ben?!” She looked around the empty room. 

Hallucinations were a symptom of sleep loss. Nothing to be alarmed about. Her exhaustion felt so heavy, like gravity shifting.

Ben materialized suddenly in the empty air. Stooped over in the small space, he seemed to fill the entire room.

She jolted back. “My gods, you’re here.” 

“A connection as strong as ours cannot be broken, even by death.“ His voice sounded hollow, wooden.

“Wait - are you alive?” She scanned his pale skin and rumpled hair.

“No, I’m dead.” His eyes were expressionless.

“That’s funny, you look alive enough.” She pointed at his breath, visible in the cold storage room. “Look, you’re breathing.”

He shifted away from her. On his face, she could read a complicated web of emotion woven from regret, loss and shame. His dark eyes held the relief of being freed from the heavy burden of his own future. 

“Are you - is this our Force Connection? Are you somewhere else? Where - where are you?” Rey stammered.

“I'm here with you. I _was_ in the Netherworld of the Force but then they sent me back.”

Her neck stiffened in cold fear. Was this a trick of the darkside? “Who is _they_? Who sent you?”

“The Jedi. My Mother. They sent me back to help you heal."

"What?" Rey head was swimming. She hadn't slept in days.

"The Jedi said that if you can make peace with me and my emotional baggage, you’ll be able to make peace with being a Palpatine.”

“Do they know how I feel about you?” As soon as she said it, she felt color rise in her cheeks. She wanted to slap the words back out of the air.

His face didn’t register any emotion. “Attachment doesn’t count for much in the eyes of a Jedi. ‘Weighs little, a human heart. Weighs heavy, the hatred of oneself.’ His strange, icy expression flickered like a flame. “It sounded better when Yoda said it.”

“I don’t - don’t follow.” She gripped the edge of the storage table, her stomach felt sour.

“I was a ‘disgusting waste of a human soul’. I believe those were my Mother’s exact words. She said that after spending time with me, the shame of being the emperor’s granddaughter won’t seem like the end of the world.” 

She turned away from him, walking out of the storage room. “OK. This is too much. I’m obviously hallucinating.”

There was something in her posture that worried him. Her neck was bent. She sat down on a low bench, hugging her arms over her chest. Words failed him so he turned to their Force connection. She was too tired to block him out. Their Force bond lay open before him, shimmering like a quiet lake. Her energy hummed in his ears.

In the space of a single breath, he understood.

The words deserved to be spoken out loud. “You’re grieving for me.” His words echoed in the small room.

Emotions choked her so she answered him through their force connection. _**I’m grieving for you and for Leia** _. 

Everything suddenly made sense, he could see her retreat from her friends, returning to the desert, but not her own desert in Jakku. She was searching for a connection to Luke in order to offset the gnawing pain. He understood the lost look in her eyes. Abandonment had always been her trigger, her weakness. In his relief to be returned from death, it hadn’t occurred to him that he had left her _alone_. 

“I’m sorry I left you.” He forced himself to speak softly. His voice still seemed hollow but she could feel the full weight of his words.

“You died a Jedi’s death. I was happy for you.” She switched to their connection. Speaking out loud was far too painful. **_Leaving Exegol alone was hard.._.**

Ben didn’t have to look far into her memories to see a memory of Rey carrying his clothes out of the cave on Exegol, smelling his sweater as tears streamed down her face. She had hidden his things inside the cockpit of Luke’s battered X Wing Fighter, unable to share her grief with anyone on Ajan Kloss.

She was letting Ben see this, opening her wounds for him. He flipped through her memories, seeing how their connection had isolated her from her friends even before his death. The full weight of her sadness knocked him back. He saw Rey arrive on Tatooine, desperate and uncentered. He saw her huddled in a tiny excuse for a bed, trying to reach out to Ben through their force connection. He was undone watching her shivering against the cold night, whispering his name over and over again until she cried herself into a state of delirium, alone in the dusty Skywalker home.

He touched her small, flat hands. She shrank away from him. He could still smell the sulphurous odor of Exegol in her hair. _How many days had he been gone? Why hadn’t she washed her hair?_ Rey’s arms were tucked against her chest, as if she were trying to block out her heart.

 ** _Don’t try to comfort me._** She whispered in her head, her dignified voice strained with sadness. **_You’re just a vision. A hallucination. You going to disappear and I’ll be alone again -_**

Ben sank to his knees before her. He moved slowly, cautiously. He didn’t touch her but focused his Force to lean deeper into their connection. The force cascaded in ocean sized waves between them. The strength of her sadness washed through him and back to her. His heart absorbed some of her heavy sadness as he stared into her. 

“I’m here, Rey. I’m here now.” He repeated gently. He could feel the smallest part of her unwind and ever so slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the dialogue taking place in their force connection makes sense. 
> 
> It might be too much too soon. Ideas?


	2. Sleep

↣ 

He studied her face. She looked so tired. “The Jedi acted like it would be a punishment for me.” His voice was measured and soft. “I think they underestimated the power of our connection. I should be burning in a pit of endless fire but they sent me here -“ He couldn’t finish the sentence. He wasn’t strong enough to tell her that this was the only place in the galaxy he wanted to be.

"The Jedi?"

"Shhhh. I'll explain everything in the morning."

He wanted to attack her, knock her down, kiss her senseless, tear her clothing apart but she was exhausted. She slumped against him. He didn’t have to look into her memories to see that she’d brought along the BB8 unit because she’d been unable to fly Luke’s X Wing fighter in her condition.

”I don’t want to sleep while you’re here. Tell me about The Netherworld of the Force. Tell me about Leia.”

”I _promise_ not to leave while you’re asleep.”

Rey was not a big fan of promises. “You aren’t leaving?” She fixed him with her tired, sad hazel eyes.

He gently took her by the arm. “Rey, show me where you’ve been sleeping.”

She led him to a cave-like room with a small recessed slot within the wall.“Up here.” She gestured.

“I think that’s a shelf for blankets or something. I don’t know if I can fit up there.” She hadn’t exactly invited him but there was no way he was leaving her side. 

Rey pulled off her boots and threw them at his feet. 

Ben scrambled up after her into the loft like bed. “I’m sure I can figure it out.” He yanked his shoes off.

He slid his body next to her slowly, careful to give her space. She bumped her head against the ceiling as she handed him a ragged blanket.

“Rey, I believe this is a carpet. It might be might have been used by animals.”

She laughed at him sleepily as she tried to cover herself. He was about to complain about the smell when he noticed his shirt from Exegol was under her pillow. 

Ben carefully positioned himself so he was facing her. She was so beautiful, his heart caught in his throat as he slowly exhaled.

She stared back at him wide eyed, shaking like a leaf.

“Rey, you should try to sleep."

“I’m fine.”

“I won’t leave.” He tucked the coarse fabric tightly under her chin. “It’s OK to sleep, Rey, I’ll still be here in the morning. I doubt anyone in the Netherworld is eager to see me anytime soon. His whisper was low, his voice was softer than she’d ever heard him speak. “I don’t think I can overstate how much the Jedi Council of The Netherworld despises me.”

She smiled sleepily at his logic. “I can’t believe you went to Jedi heaven."

He laughed. "It called The Netherword of the Force. Not Jedi Heaven, silly girl."

Rey's eyes shone hopefully in the dark. "What's it like?”

”Everyone was there: Yoda, Plo Koon, Shaak Ti, Mace Windu."

“Was Master Luke there?” Rey fell asleep before he could answer.

He stayed awake watching her breathe. He tried to memorize the moment. It was a miracle to be near her.

→ →

Rey woke up with a start. She clutched at him instinctively, checking to make sure was still beside her. She turned to look at him in the light of the moon. She struggled to calm her heart. She cupped her hand around his long boyish chin, checking to see if he was warm and breathing. He looked so much younger when he wasn’t scowling at her. His dark eyelashes fluttered open and she flinched. Her hands flew away from his face.

His lips twitched into a smile. “What are you doing?”

Suddenly, he seemed so close to her. Carefully, she reached out and ran the back of her hand along his cheek. His eyes didn't leave hers. "I was checking to make sure you were alive. You _are_ still alive, right?"

His wide goofy grin lit up his face. “No. I think I'm having a heart attack.”

“Well, you already died so I think it's going to be OK.”

There was a strange rumble outside. 

“What the bloody hell was that?” Rey pulled her blanket around her shoulders and hurried to the opening of the Skywalker dwelling. After a moment, Ben joined her at the doorway. 

“It’s raining” she whispered.

“That’s impossible. It almost never rains on Tatooine.” He breathed against her neck and she felt like she was melting against him. She allowed herself to lean against his large frame and thunder echoed across the lonely desert. 

"I think we should make it rain some more." Her smile was infectious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love vision of rain on Tatooine. Those poor moisture farmers!


	3. Day 1

↣ 

The rain had slowed to a drizzle by morning. She stared at him across the pillow. “I feel like this was a dream. A very nice dream.” 

“It was more than nice.” His body was heavy and drowsy with sleep. She placed her hand on his heart, her head was spinning being so close to him.

Ben moved closer to her and her heart thudded out of her chest. He reached over her and scratched a line into the sandy brick wall. “This is how you count your days, isn’t it?” 

She nodded silently knowing he could see into the corners of her saddest memories.

“This is day one together.” He whispered.

“I’m scared you're going to leave." She hadn't meant to say that. _Why did she always blurt out what was going through her head?_

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. That's what the little green guy said.”

“I can’t believe _you_ got to meet Master Yoda.”

“He was pretty harsh with me. When he sent me to you, he said, ‘Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.’ Ben turned to face her, his voice shook. "I’m here to learn how to let go completely. No pride, no barriers, no more hiding behind my dumb ideas about being Vader's heir. You can banish me or throw me away but I will not leave you." He took her thin hands in his. “If they take me away from you, I’ll wait for you on the other side. Like a dog.”

She was at a loss for words. This large, frightening man, who had represented evil and intruded on her thoughts for so long, was offering himself up to her.

“When I was first in the Netherworld, all the Jedi Council were in a circle taking turns telling me what an absolute failure I had been. One of them, this big headed guy, asked what I thought I had missed out on by taking the path to the dark side. I wasn’t sure what to say. I thought it would have been good to fight alongside my mother or rescue my father when one of the jobs with Chewie didn’t work out.”

“I doubt they liked that answer.”

He laughed. She’d never heard him laugh before. It was low and soft. “No, they weren’t into that answer. But now I know this is what I missed.”

“Awkward conversations?”

“Intimacy.”

She felt warmth flood her heart. "Oh."

“I like the sound of our rain.” He whispered. When he glanced over at Rey, she had fallen back asleep.

↣

Later that morning, Rey fussed over dehydrated bread. 

Ben frowned. “The smell of that makes me glad I’m dead.” He laughed at himself. 

“Food is food. It doesn’t need to be enjoyed.“

He carefully brushed a cobweb out of her hair. “I like it when you speak in Jedi Gibberish.’ He popped a portion of bread in his mouth. "So that's what 40 year old bread tastes like." He coughed and turned to the small window. "Look, someone is coming.”

Rey gasped. “Who is it? What do we do? They'll take you away.”

Ben switched to their force connection. **I don’t think anyone can see me except you. That’s what Yoda said. ‘See your body, they will not. Feel your force something, something’ - I really can’t remember the rest. The way he talks makes me feel incredibly stupid.**

Rey rushed outside to see Finn and Rose emerge from a battered HWK-290. She ran out to hug them both warmly. She looked over at Ben standing beside her. “You’re right. They don’t see you.” She whispered to him. 

**That’s good.** He turned toward the visitors with a fake grin.

Finn's friendly smile faded to a concerned frown. “We’ve been looking for you. Rose followed your beacon here.”

“What is this place?” Rose tried to brush sand out of her eyes as they entered the small dwelling.

Rey smiled proudly. “It was Luke Skywalker’s home. This is where he grew up.”

“It’s very - uh, dusty.”

“Where’s Poe?” Rey said, offering them water.

Finn smelled the water before taking a sip. “He’s working with Commander D’Arcy moving our base to Yavin 4.”

“Where _you_ should be right now.” Rose snapped.

Finn shot Rose an icy glare. 

Ben rolled his eyes. _**Who is this person? She is delightful.**_

Finn shifted uncomfortably. “We figured you probably needed some rest. But yeah, we need you Rey.”

Ben regarded Finn with curiosity. **_Oh, I do remember this guy. Spunky ex-storm trooper from the forest._**

“I want to start a new order of Jedi.” Rey blurted out. She touched her mouth, surprised by the words that she had spoken. She wondered if Ben had put the idea in her head. When she glanced up at him, he looked as surprised as she did.

“But the bloodline of Skywalker has ended.” Finn hedged.

“Jedi do not need to be of a particular bloodline.” Rey corrected.

“We don’t need Jedi.” Rose said hesitantly. “We need generals, commanders - strong leaders like you.”

Rey could feel a physical separation began to grow her between herself and her friends. She pressed her lips together, searching for the right words. “I have a duty to the Jedi who came before me.”

“You feel like you owe something to dead Jedi but not all the other people who have died fighting for the Resistance?”

“Rose!” Finn objected.

“I’m sorry. Everyone is scrambling to rebuild some sort of government order and she’s ‘resting’ here on Tatooine. I’m sorry but we _need_ her.”

 _ **Is she your friend?** _ Ben whispered. **_I bet she doesn’t know you could snap her neck?_**

Rey bit her lip. “I had to leave. I couldn’t be part of the celebrations. It was too much for me.”

“It’s too much for a lot of people, Rey. Even people who are grieving their families are working hard.”

Finn turned to her, his voice low. “Rose, can you wait outside?”

“I’m not going to wait outside!”

“I’m saying this as your commanding officer and the pilot of the ship that brought you here. If you want a ride home, you need to give me a minute here.”

“Fine!” Rose stormed out.

Ben shrugged at Finn. _**At least he has management skills.** _ He studied Finn another moment. **_Wait a second - mister storm trooper likes you, doesn’t he?_**

 _ **Shut up.** _Rey hissed through their connection.

Finn waited until Rose went out to the ship. “What is going on with you Rey?”

“I’m alright. Everything is fine.”

“Rey, you took off without a word.”

“I told R2.”

“You took off without telling us, Rey. We’ve been worried. I know something happened and Emperor Palpatine was destroyed. I’m assuming that was all you?”

“Ben Solo and I.” Rey whispered.

“Kylo Ren?”

“Ben and I killed The Emperor - we destroyed him together. He - Ben gave his life for me.” Rey stammered. She glanced at Ben under her lashes. He returned her stare with an expression she couldn’t quite decipher.

“Kylo Ren is dead? Good riddance.”

Ben smiled broadly. **_Oh, he does like you! Take note of how many times he says your name._**

“Rey, the First Order has been quiet. Thousands of imperial troops have surrendered. But then there’s all these supremely crazy Sith Eternal freaks still loyal to the Final Order. Have you seen those guys Rey? We’re not sure what to do with them. Then we’re hearing reports of those Knights of Ren idiots popping up all over the galaxy.”

Rey fiddled with stray piece of wire, unable to think of how to say what she needed to tell Finn. Ben touched her arm.

**You don’t have to tell him. No one needs to know. Your secret can die with me.**

She looked away. 

Finn looked confused. “You’re not OK, are you? Rey, Did Kylo Ren do something to you? You two had all that mental stuff going on.”

“Emperor Palpatine was my grandfather.”

“Wait, what?!”

“The thing with Exegol, it was all a plan to draw me there. He wanted me to kill him so he could transfer his spirit into me. His heir.”

“That’s - ” Finn shook his head, unable to come up with words. “Oh my god, Rey.”

“I barely managed to destroy him but it took everything I had. I died." Rey stammered. "Kylo, I mean Ben, brought me back to life. He gave his own life for mine.”

“Whoa. That’s pretty heavy.” He offered Rey a kind smile. 

Ben rested his chin on her shoulder. 

After a pause, Finn patted her hand stiffly. “Rey, you should go to Ajan Kloss and set up Jedi school or whatever it is. The base is deserted. Poe has everyone moving to Yavin 4.”

 **There’s something we still need to do here.** Ben’s voice was surprisingly earnest.

“I’ll head to Ajan Kloss tomorrow.” She nodded. “There’s one more thing I need to do here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a lot of build up to romance, I guess. He throws himself down at her feet here. Should I push this part further down the story? 
> 
> I want Ben to come off as very Han - like as he judges Rey’s friends. Rose comes off kind of bitchy here but I promise, she has a great supporting role.


	4. Desert

↣ 

Rey inhaled the strange smell of the desert after the rain. 

He admired her long strides. “I like the way you walk.”

She smiled. “The way you walk is different now. Everything about you is different. The way you hold your head used to be like this.” She tilted her head down and glowered at him with feigned rage. “Now you’re like this.” She cocked her head back, Han Solo style. She looked him over from head to toe. “How did it happen?”

“Coming back from Kylo Ren? You started it, the first time we met, when you tried to attack me with that stupid blaster. Something inside me broke and I could feel again. For the first time in years, I had to contend with something besides anger. I was so pissed at you. Feeling was the last thing I wanted to do.”

A wave of understanding crashed down. She spoke through their connection. **_Is that why you killed Han?_** She didn’t need him to answer. 

**_I thought my parents were the last thread holding me. The last remnants of Ben Solo. The boy who was such a failure._** He hung his head in shame. ** _But then suddenly you were there too. My fantasy of being like Vader started to matter less and less. You could see me and it changed everything. After being together on Starkiller, I became obsessed with you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you._** He smiled. **_I thought I could be like Snoke: break you down and control you._ **

**_You underestimated me._ ** Rey’s mouth twitched with a grin.

 **_That’s the understatement of the century._ ** He dug his hands into his pockets, staring at his feet.

**_When you said you would have taken Ben’s hand, I could feel the light pouring in. Then Leia died - and every single thing I was doing stopped making sense. You were the last thing that mattered. The only thing that mattered anymore._ **

They walked in silence. His hand brushed against hers. She took his hand. It felt supremely sweet. He had never held hands with a girl before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though Rey discusses this with Keylo Ren, I wanted Ben to own his actions. 
> 
> This chapter is a little unnecessary in the grand scheme of things but I liked the idea of them holding hands.


	5. Kenobi

↣ 

“Whose house are we looking for?” Rey wiped her brow.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi‘s.”  
  


“As in ‘Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi’? Rey’s face lit up. “I love him.”

”Leia named me after him.” Ben said sheepishly.

Rey’s posture straightened. It was easy to forget that, despite his horrendous past, Ben was galactic royalty.

↣ 

  
From a distance, they spotted an old man walking with his Bantha.

“We need to find the home of Ben Kenobi.” Rey said respectfully.

“Old Ben Kenobi has been gone for many years now. Never to return, I suspect. Folks never go near his home. You’d do well to avoid it. They say there is strange energy there-”

Rey cut him off with a solemn wave of her hand, in classic Jedi form. “You’d be happy to tell us the way to Ben Kenobi’s house.”

“I’d be happy to tell you the way to Ben Kenobi’s house.” The man obediently responded.

“In fact, you’d like to draw us a map.”

“Here, let me draw you a map.”

  
→

Ben and Rey entered Ben Kenobi’s home. The dwelling was massive and well built, almost blending in with the desert. 

“This is it? It’s a bit fancy for one hermetic Jedi.” 

Ben stood with her hand on the door. “The legend is that he communed with the dead here. He taught himself all alone here in the desert.”

Rey walked room to room, looking for traces of the man who had spent decades living in isolation. She thumbed through a large set of matching books. She couldn’t read the language. “What is this?”

Ben peered over her shoulder. “It’s not Basic.”

“No kidding, genius.” She set them back on the shelf.

Rey walked into the bedroom. She could feel the force hanging thick in the air. There was a low platform bed and soft pillows. Kenobe’s house was in pristine condition compared to the Skywalker dwelling. Both had been abandoned for decades but this home looked and felt lived in.

Ben ran his fingers along a low table, checking for dust. “This place is kind of weird.” 

“I bet you think everything that isn’t a sterilized, shiny white room is weird.” 

He shrugged. “You’re in a great mood. I meant it’s cleaner than the Starkiller.”

Rey frowned. “Maybe there’s a cleaning droid or something.”

“Come in here!” Ben called. They entered a cavernous room with skylights. Amber lights glowed from the floor. The smell of fresh coconut milk hung in the air. “Look at this room!”

Rey touched a scorch mark on the wall. Lightsaber burns. “I think this a training room or something.”

“What about these crystal things in the floor?” Ben pointed to 10 diamond shapes arranged in a wide circle on the floor.

“It’s like a star.”

“This place is sacred, I can feel it.” He pulled Rey into the circle, he took her hand and kissed the knuckles softly. 

She shuddered at his touch. “I don’t think sacred means, like touching.”

“It should.” He slowly turned her hand over, kissing the palm.

She slowly turned to face him, astonished. “Everything feels so different here.”

“I feel it too.” She squeezed his hand. “It’s not our energy going back and forth, it’s- ”

“Together.” He interrupted. “Amazing. I can feel you breathing. It’s so - so overwhelming.” He shuddered.

Rey pulled at the neckline of Ben’s shirt to kiss his collarbone. She tasted the slight salt of his skin. His long arms encircled her cautiously, his large hands barely brushing against her back. She felt nerve endings come to life for the first time along her spine. Grabbing his shirt, she pulled him down to the floor. Everything seemed to be happening in extreme slow motion. 

**_Closer, closer._ ** His arms wound around her until there was no space between them. She could feel her own body through his arms, she could see her own face through his eyes, she could feel each movement from his side and from her own simultaneously. Every touch reverberated through him and back to her.

“Are you feeling this too?”

He nodded slowly. She touched his face and felt her own touch echoed back. When he leaned down to kiss her forehead with his cold wet mouth, her entire body shook. 

“I think I just came.” She whispered. 

“Me too.” He stared at her blankly. “I don’t know what’s going on here but I think Obi-Wan Kenobi is my new favorite Jedi.”

She laughed and looked up, realizing the bright skylights above them were growing dark. 

“My gods, how long have we been like this? It was midday when we got here.”

“Whoa.”

Thunder and lightning rumbled in the distance. 

They lay side by side, breathing deeply. He turned to stare into her warm hazel eyes. A new truth was fresh and bright in front of him. Seeing it framed before him, he is was struck by how obvious and logical it was. “I can’t believe I ever thought your compassion made you weak.” 

She reached out to touch his forearm. “I can’t believe I ever thought your anger was about me.”

“No. Never. Not even for a minute.” His eyes were full of regret. “I thought anger made me strong.” He smiled slightly. “It seems _so stupid_ now.” 

Dopey from the intimacy, they struggled to stand. 

"Well, I guess it’s going to be a long walk home."

They stood leaning against each other, watching a curtain of rain sweep across the desert. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taking some liberties with Obi-Wan’s house since we only see the outside from one angle in New Hope and one room inside. 
> 
> I know in my heart of hearts that it was a tiny little hermit's dwelling but I need to make it large to suit my narrative here. 
> 
> I'd read about the Healing Crystals of Fire in the Jedi Temple. They were housed in a sort of chill-out lounge for Jedi. I liked the idea of Obi-Wan saving them from the temple. Not sure where that idea came from but I feel like since he was stuck alone (?) in the desert it would be good for his mental health. I can't believe how many times I have correctly spelling desert - it's astonishing.


	6. Flight

They were cramped on the flight to Ajan Kloss. Rey had to sit between Ben’s long legs to pilot the ancient craft. 

“This X Wing Fighter is the single dirtiest ship I’ve ever been on and that includes The Falcon during Chewie’s molting season.”

“You are such a complainer. Has anyone ever mentioned that to you?”

“I believe I’ve been burned in effigy several times. That’s kind of the same thing, right?”

Rey swiped into his memory. “Oh wow, I thought the Knights of Ren were your friends.”

“I’m not likable.” 

Ben attempted to stretch out his long legs. He was about to complain or make a snarky comment about Luke’s short legs when he noticed Rey had packed his clothes from Exegol under the seat. He breathed in deeply and could smell sulphur.

“Rey, how do I make peace with all the guilt?”

She twisted her neck, straining to see his face. He was looking out into space. “I don’t know.”

“I am responsible for so much pain, so much death.'' He shuddered a breath. “I don’t know how to move forward.”

She leaned back against him, letting the weight of her body comfort him. He rested his cheek on the top of her head. “You need to take a shower, by the way.”

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter - I have no reason to think that two people couldn’t fit into a cockpit. I like the idea that Ben is a bit of a clean freak.


	7. Base

It was strange to see the bustling Ajan Kloss Rebel Base deserted. Sanitation droids scuttled around, picking up small bits of trash.  
  
Stepping out of the X Wing fighter, Rey stretched out her arms. The force was strong here. She could still feel the tracing waves of Leia’s energy.

Rey was surprised at the profound effect being on Ajan Kloss had on Ben. As he exited the X Wing Fighter, he seemed to pale. He folded his arms across his chest and his posture slumped. 

**_Have you been here before?_** Rey called to Ben through their connection. 

He nodded slightly.

She watched in silence as he walked straight to the bed where Leia had died.  
  
When the rebels had abandoned the base for Yavin 4, Leia’s living quarters had remained untouched. Her combs and perfume oil were still on a crate she’d used as a makeshift dresser. Rey found Ben sitting on his mother’s bed, tears streaming down his face. He opened the perfume bottle, inhaling her scent. His head hung low. 

A wave of sadness washed over her. Leia wasn’t her family, she reminded herself. Even if she could think of anything to say to Ben, he needed his own space to grieve. Instinctively she walked away. Her scavenger training clicked in as she scoured the way base’s makeshift kitchen for food. She located crates of field rations and a bucket of apples. 

When she checked back on him, he had stretched out on Leia’s bed. Rey couldn’t hear him but she could feel raw sobs tear through Ben’s heart. 

His grief didn’t form words. A flash of images flooded through their connection. Ben as a child, sitting on his mother’s lap in a meeting, learning to read as Leia patiently helped him sound out words. Happier times with Han and Uncle Chewie on the Falcon, sad times when Han’s visits at home became less frequent, the strain in his mother’s voice when he begged to know when his father was coming home ...

She stood on the edge of Leia’s quarters. “We can leave. I don’t mind. This humidity is weird.”

He didn’t move. She watched for a moment to make sure he was breathing.

“Why did you hate Leia?

“I didn’t. I don’t.”

She sat beside him and rubbed the wide expanse of his back. Their connection hummed.

“I never wanted any of it. I didn’t want the Jedi life. I liked being with my dad. I wanted to be like him. Be a pilot or something. All anyone could see in me was the Skywalker side of me. All the potential or greatness. When they decided to send me away to train, I felt like they were disposing of me. I was so hurt that I made sure I was a nightmare to be around. I thought maybe if I showed Luke that I was an asshole, he would send me home.”

Rey bit back a smile, imagining Ben antagonizing Luke. “But it didn’t work like that?”

“No, I was good at the training.” He smiled through his tears. “Even worse, I liked it. I realized that I _was_ different from the other students. That made me proud and but even angrier. I felt like Luke was holding a mirror up to my face and showing me that I could never be like my Dad. I felt like Luke wanted me to be just like him. I hated him for it.” Ben tilted his chin up, his jaw clenched, eyes full of tears. “And that’s the story of how I started to turn into the worst person you will ever meet.”

Rey lay down next to him tentatively, their shoulders touched. He took her hand in both of his, kissing her knuckles softly.

“And you grew up alone. Dreaming that someone, somewhere would recognize that there was something special about you.” He whispered softly into her hair. “I don’t know how you did it.”

“There was a lot of straight up survival. Dreaming. Stealing books. Making dolls to play with. Trying not to starve to death”

“I’m such a fucking waste. I had everything. And I grew up to be a weak monster.” He drew back away from her. “I contaminate you.”

“I think that’s why you’re here.” Rey spoke softly. “I need to see you for everything you are, the light and the darkness. I need to care to accept my days with you without being ruled by the fear that you can vanish without warning.”

“And you’re here to break me into pieces. I get to see the magnitude of everything I'll never have.” Ben’s voice shook with emotion.

“Dear gods, you don’t listen very well, do you?”

“No I really don’t.” He smiled his wide goofy smile. 

“We’re together today. No remorse or hiding in a past we can’t change.”

He stood up and dabbed his chest with his mother’s perfume oil. It was the same comforting coconut milk scent Leia had worn every day but it smelled so different on him. 

“Rey you are my light against the darkness.”

You go _straight_ to the dramatic every time”

He chuckled. “At least I’m consistent.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to address Leia’s death as being tied to her death bed. Yes, she is a voice in his head but he needed to address the death of her physical being.
> 
> I felt like setting this chapter at an abandoned base is a nice backdrop. This chapter addresses the point of Ben’s return in my mind. I wanted him to have a chance to be dramatic but also in more of a Solo way.


	8. Outdated

Rey stood up and touched Leia’s perfume bottle. It was a beautiful blue-green bottle with an intricate pattern on the front and back. “This kinda looks like that symbol on Obi-Wan’s floor.

He glanced around. "What?"

The green glass bottle was decorated with ten diamond shapes arranged in a circle, the center empty. 

“It kinda does. My mother said she got it when she was a little girl. It was the only thing she had from her biological mother.”

"Leia's Mom?"

“Padme Amidala. At one point she was Queen of Naboo.” He pulled out Rey’s laptop and typed in his grandmother’s name.

Rey looked over his shoulder at the picture. "Wow. She's beautiful. Wait, wait - she was with Darth Vader?"

"He was Anakin Skywalker then, a Jedi. They secretly married and hid their relationship from the Jedi"

"And?"

"And then she died after Luke and Leia were born and Anakin went off with Palpatine.”

Rey pulled the laptop away from Ben and typed Anakin’s name. “Good gods, he was a war hero before he became Vader.“ She clicked back to the information about Padme Amidala before handing it back to Ben.

“I was never clear on how Padme died." He skimmed over the information. "Look - the Naboo write in Basic. Wait- there’s an ancient written alphabet on Naboo called Futhark and but that doesn't look like the perfume bottle - it's all oval forms." 

Rey squinted at the bottle, turning it over. "Those books at Obi-Wan’s that we couldn’t read looked like this symbol.”

"No they didn’t." 

"Yes they did."

Ben sighed, remembering who he's arguing with. " _Maybe_ they did." 

"Where the hell is C3PO when you actually need him?"

One of the sanitation Druid’s rolled past with D-O and Rey chased after them. She held up the perfume bottle to D-O. "What is this?"

The droid scanned the bottle. "It is perfume oil. It contains a base oil of coconut and contains notes of Pom Petal and Sapflower, both native to the planet of Naboo. This oil based perfume was worn by General Leia Organa."

"No, the bottle. Can you recognize this writing?"

The small droid canned the bottle for text.

“It is Outdated. It is been classified as Outdated.”

“But what does that mean?”

"It was once active but now it is Outdated."

Rey thinks for a moment. "I’ve seen this somewhere else. I can’t remember where."

"Outdated?” The droid repeated, helpfully.

Ben tried following as she searched through her scattering of memories. The chest in Maz Kanata’s? Luke’s journals? 

"I don’t think so that’s it but those should be here on base. All my stuff’s over in the pilot’s tent."

They hurried over to the pilot’s living quarters where she kept a mountain of books. She noticed his posture had improved slightly.


	9. Unseen

Ben and Rey happily sifted through a pile of books they had carried to Commander D'Acy's quarters.

It stirred her soul to watch Ben gingerly page through the sacred Jedi texts she had swiped from Master Luke's library. He set one book down and wiped his hands before picking up another.

"Wait a minute." She whispered.

"What's wrong?"

She slipped her arms around him, pulling their chests together. His fingers traced her cheeks, the sides of her neck before coming to rest on her ears. 

Her hands framed his face. Rey smiled at him and felt the sharp thrill when he grinned back at her. It was so strange to suddenly feel like she was allowed to touch him, to be close to him. Everything that had been fear between them was warmth. He was with her now. He was hers. Rey shuddered as she heard raindrops hit the roof of the barracks. 

↣

They were too tuned into each other to hear Poe and Finn arrive on the air strip. BB8 rolled up to Poe, whirring happily. Despite the rain, Poe couldn’t resist the chance to check out Luke’s old X Wing fighter with BB8 in tow while Finn forged ahead to find Rey. 

Finn heard Rey’s voice inside one of the living quarters reserved for officers. He peered around the corner, confused to hear Rey in conversation but seeing no one with her as she sorted through books. Finn didn’t consider himself terribly force sensitive but he could clearly feel another presence.

“The History of Alderaan? I bet this wasn’t on your required reading list on the Starkiller Base?” Rey whispered, flirtatiously. 

**Hux used to read it to me every night while we brushed each other’s hair.**

Rey snorted with laughter.

Ben frowned. **That would be funnier if he wasn’t dead. You knew that, right?**

“Gods, that’s awful. He was helping us.” Rey tossed a book at him. 

**He was only helping you out of spite. He hated me.**

“I can’t imagine why.”

↣

Finn backed away from the doorway, confused. He returned to Poe, telling him what he’d seen and heard.

“Didn’t you say she was acting weird on Tatooine? She’s exhausted, that’s all.”

“She’s not alone here. Go see for yourself.” Finn implored.

“I am not here to assess her mental health.” Poe snapped. “This is business.”

↣

Poe led the way with BB8 and Finn in tow. Poe made a point of knocking on the door of the commander's living quarters. Rey felt a surge of joy seeing Poe’s toothy smile. He was wearing his General’s uniform but the jacket was halfway unbuttoned.  
  
“You look handsome!” She hugged him. The tightness of Rey’s hug gave Poe pause as did the weariness in her eyes. Finn hugged her mechanically but she could tell that things had changed between them. She knew that finding out she was a Palpatine had permanently warped his perception of her. 

Poe glanced around. “This base is a wreck. Sorry about that.” 

“It’s fine”. Rey smiled. "I'm using Commander D'Acy's quarters. She has the nicest bed.” She glanced over at Ben who was tucked away in the General’s comfortable bed, reading about Padme Amidala on the laptop.

“We’re glad you’re starting a Jedi Order. People need something - anything to feel safer about the future is great. Everyone I’ve told about it is thrilled. It's genius. Do you have any plans for how to recruit? I don’t really know anything about how this stuff works.”

“I think Luke started by visiting some of the schools around bases. Force sensitive people tend to stand out. I can start by doing that.” 

“Perfect, great. Tell me what you need and we’ll find a way to make it happen. I’d like to meet again tomorrow. Come to Yavin 4 in around noon.” He started heading back toward his ship. 

“Wait! You’re leaving already?”  
  
“I have, no lie, more paperwork on my desk than I’ve ever seen in my life. Is it OK if I take my buddy here?” He wiped mud from BB8 and was rewarded with a chortling whir.

Finn walked ahead.

Poe lowered his head. “Listen, Finn told me about the Palpatine thing. I’m not going to tell you what to do but I really want to discourage you from sharing that information with anyone else. A new Jedi Order is gonna be a beacon of hope for so many people. I don’t think telling the truth serves much of a purpose.”

“Understood.” Rey nodded.

“You’ve got food? Water?” Poe smiled at the sanitation droids being led by D.O.

“Tons of field rations and more than enough water.” She smiled, she had a feeling it would rain tonight. “I’ll make contact with the local Mohsenians set up a steady supply of fresh food.”

“Find that Mohsenian named Ma Fas - she’s my girl". Poe called out cheerfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was there enough of a back and forth between Rey and Ben to seem weird for Finn to overhear? 
> 
> For the purpose of the narrative, Poe is mired in official business.


	10. Filling Out Forms

As much as he loved being back in the cockpit, flying again, Poe had a headache from listening to Finn. Hedging back and forth between theories, Finn vacillated between dragging Rey back with them to Yavin 4 and going back to confront her. Poe had three meetings to go that day so he simply let Finn talk in circles.

"She was never like this before."

"Rey was being Rey. She's a little intense, super secretive, unpredictable."

Finn slammed his palm on the dash. "You didn't see her! She was having a conversation with no one."

Poe unceremoniously shifted Finn's hand away from the controls.

"It was like she was talking to a ghost."

Poe stared into deep space, wishing he could simply take off and leave everything behind. "I don’t see why it matters if she talks to ghosts. I talk to Leia in my head all the time. If I could talk to her ghost, I would - in a heartbeat."

"Leia isn’t Keylo Ren."

"Finn, we don't know she's talking to Keylo Ren. She could be talking to Luke or Leia."

"It was definitely a guy. And she was laughing. Do _you_ think Luke Skywalker has a sense of humor?" He stared Poe down. "You know she was communicating with Keylo Ren for weeks."

"Gods Finn, she told you that Ben Solo saved her life. We found his fucking ship on Exegol so everything she said is probably true. Why the hell do you care if she talks to him?”

"This isn’t in her head!" Finn shot back "He’s talking back. I could feel his presence."

"Again, I don’t see how it matters if she’s talking to a DEAD PERSON." Poe was shouting.

"She’s Palpatine and he’s fucking pure evil. Doesn’t that sound like a dangerous combination?!"

Poe forced himself to lower his voice. "Or maybe it’s my friend Rey talking to a ghost because she’s lonely and freaked the fuck out. Maybe talking to him is helping her. Maybe he's Ben Solo now."

"Keylo Ren tortured you! He's killed millions of people."

"Finn, I don't care anymore. If anyone from the First Order wants to change sides and helps us, so be it. Keylo Ren - Ben Solo, I don't really care."

"Maybe you don’t care enough to find out what’s going on but I do." Finn set his jaw and turned away from Poe. 

Shaking his head in irritation, Poe looked out at the stars and started composing a memo in his head about Rey's Jedi program. A new Jedi Order was going to be his new talking point at his meetings this afternoon with jittery Mid Rim trade route officials. He imagined himself explaining Rey's program over a large glass of emerald wine with the pretty ambassadors from Naboo. 


	11. Dimmed Lights

Back on base, Rose met their ship with a clipboard in hand. Before Poe could open his mouth to say hello, she was off and running.

“We have three reports of Knights of Ren shooting at our fueling freighters. No casualties but our pilots reported that they felt like the Knights weren’t really trying to hit them.”

”Rose, I have a meeting in 11 minutes. I don’t have time-“

”Gods, Poe when the hell are you going to have time for this?”

”Tomorrow?”

”That’s what you said yesterday!”

Poe stalked away quickly, Finn was on his heels.

Poe was eager to get rid of Finn. Between Rose’s complaints and Finn’s suspicions, he was actually glad to return to his desk full of paperwork.

"Are those Sith Eternal prisoners still on Detention Level 3?" Finn glanced around to make sure no one was listening.

"We moved them to 4 because those boxes that came with them had to go on 3." 

"Mind if I go down there?"

Poe sighed heavily. "Any reason in particular?"  
  
"They're necromancers. They can talk to the dead, see ghosts and shit."

"This is about Rey, is it?" Poe glanced at the clock on his laptop.

"What if it is? If Rey’s talking to ghosts, we should find out right?"

Poe pretended to check on BB8 as Finn took the scan key for the detention levels. 

->

Finn wandered through the detention level to the large wing that held the Sith Eternal cells. The guards kept the lights low to appease the prisoners as they seemed to have some sensitivity to light. He’d been more comfortable when they’d arrived from Exogol in long robes with the hoods over their faces. Now they milled about in various states of undress, their blue-ish skin exposed. Many of them wore hover boots to avoid exerting themselves and metal braces on their legs and arms to support their flaccid limbs.

“Unhealthy looking bastards.” He grumbled as he walked past the cells.

He watched the Sith Eternal with a sickening feeling. They stared back with contempt. 

"Hey soldier, you looking for something?" A young looking female Sith Eternal stood at the bars. She wore a worn tanktop and tight pants.

Finn lowered his voice. "Can you speak to the dead?" 

"What the hell do you care?" The Sith Eternal looked at him questioningly.

"Let’s just say I’ve got a friend who might be speaking with the dead." 

"Good for her. It's a life skill." The Sith went back to biting her nails.

"No, I don’t want her talking to _this_ dead person." 

"Boo-hoo for you."   
  
Finn bristled. "He happens to be very dangerous."

"Dangerous like a Sith or dangerous like a big cuddly Wookie?"

"Can you see ghosts?"

She frowned. "Sometimes. It depends my energy level. I'm running a bit low these days."

Finn leaned in, trying to ignore the scent of decay on her breath. "What would it take for you to be able to help me? Tell me exactly who my friend is talking to?

"I’d need a little something to lift my spirits, sweetness."

"What’s your name?" Finn whispered. 

"Manzuzuu."

"Well Manzuzuu, my friend is on Ajan Kloss. It would be a chance to get out of this cell." He almost added something about getting some fresh air but Manzuzuu didn't look like the outdoorsy type.

"Sure. I’ll go in exchange for something that fulfills my needs."

->

Manzuzuu requested she be allowed to bring with her a long thin box from the storage cell below the detention level. Finn shrugged. He had been prepared to offer her food or money. He loaded it up on a palette and found an older transport, fueled it up and filled out some bogus paperwork. 

The long box was light but difficult to maneuver. Manzuzuu was weak and delicate, so he ended up dragging it up the ramp for her. 

->

When they arrived on Ajan Kloss, Manzuzuu pulled out a long, thin knife. 

Finn stood up. "Whoa, let’s dial this back. I just want you to talk to my friend." 

She shrugged with impatience. "Calm down Finn, this doesn’t involve you." She opens the lid of the long box. "Are you going to watch?"

Finn frowned. "Um, what is that?"

"Relax, she’s my sister." Finn peered over her shoulder and recoiled.

The box contained the mummified remains of a young woman. Manzuzuu lit a tall prayer candle. "You can join me if you want." 

She began to recite a prayer in a garbled tongue Finn didn’t recognize. He went to the front of the ship but peered through a crack in the door just long enough to see Manzuzuu grip the handle of the knife up high above her head and repeatedly stab the corpse.

Finn exited the ship in a hurry. He found Rey waiting for him. She whispered to the air beside her. 

He hugged Rey cautiously. “Hey, long time no see!”

“What are you doing here Finn? You were here three hours ago.” Instinct told Rey there was something very wrong. Ben stood behind her, a hand on her shoulder.

“I brought someone to talk to you.” Finn said with an odd smile.

Rey looked around. “Um, What kind of someone?”

“A Sith Eternal.” Finn tried to come off casually.

“What?! They’re dangerous.”

Finn put his hands on his hips. “I know you’re communicating with Kylo Ren and it needs to stop.”

 **I'm going to snap his neck.** Ben snarled.

"See, I can feel a presence beside you." Finn pointed to the wrong side of Rey. “He’s here now, isn’t he?”

“Finn, it’s not your concern if I communicate with Ben Solo or not.”

“Not my concern?! Rey, he’s dead! We’re talking about Kylo Ren here! He’s a certifiable monster!”

“Finn, you should leave.”

“Rey, I’m not trying to be a jerk about it but I think, for everyone’s peace of mind, you should meet with Manzuzuu.”

“Finn, no. Just no. I’m not doing this.” Rey crossed her arms across her chest. "This is wrong."

He stepped closer, putting his hand over hers. “If _I_ was talking to a ghost and ignoring my real life friends, _I_ would _want_ you to step in and help me.”

“I am absolutely not talking to this - what did you call him?”

“Manzuzuu is one of the Necromancers of the Sith Eternal Cult.” 

“Well, that changes everything. He sounds great.” Rey snapped sarcastically.

“And it’s a she. Her name is Manzazuu Myrine “

“This just gets better by the minute.”

 **Don’t talk to this person.** Ben whispered. **I have a bad feeling about this.**

Rey glared at him. 

As she approached Finn’s ship, Rey felt a high pitch chill. The ship’s bay opened and a young woman emerged. The Necromancer was not the shriveled old woman Rey expected. She was younger than Rey with silvery blond hair and splotchy blue-ish skin. 

Rey stared at the woman as she draped a dark blue veil over her body. She drifted off the ship on hover boots, her thin legs supported by metal braces.

She pointed behind Rey. “Oh yeah, Kylo Ren is right there, behind the girl. Is that all you need?”

“We didn’t come all this way for you to tell me something I already know.” Finn screeched in frustration.

“Then why did _we_ come?” Manzuzuu fluttered her lashes.

“I wanna talk to him.” Finn growled.

Manzazuu stared at Ben with bored irritation. “Kylo, I used to admire you. Look what you’ve become.” She scowled at Rey. “Tied to a lowly Jedi wanna-be. You even allow yourself to be invisible. I could change that if you wanted.” 

“Pass.” Ben gripped Rey’s hand, not breaking eye contact with Manzazuu. 

“Suit yourself. Your bond is the only thing holding you here.”

“Good.” Ben squeezed Rey’s hand. “I have no interest in leaving.” 

“What is he saying?” Finn whined. “You’re supposed to tell me what he’s saying!”

Manzuzuu ignored Finn. Her expression shifted. Her voice turned reverent. “My entire family is still loyal to you. We would follow you into battle if took up the mantle of Supreme Leader again.”

“I’m not Kylo Ren any more.”

The necromancer couldn’t keep emotion out of her voice “Why?”

“I didn’t belong to the dark side. There was always light in me. It finally came through.”

Finn pulled his blaster and aimed it at Manzuzuu. “Tell me what he’s saying!”

She rolled her eyes at Finn. “Don’t wet yourself soldier, we’ve got a hour long trip back to Yavin 4 for chit chat. I’ll even put on a puppet show if it will help you understand the big words.” She stood to leave, casting a long glance at Ben. “If it wasn’t for the dark side, do you really think you’d be here right now? Walking around? Eating a fucking apple? You know, this physical state is highly unusual.” Her eyes took him in seductively. “But you aren’t normal, are you Kylo?”

“My mother always said I was special.” Ben aimed for sarcasm but missed by a hair.

“The dead rising up and taking on a physical existence - which side of the force does that sound like to you?” Manzuzuu turned on her heel and marched back to Finn’s ship.

->

Finn followed Manzuzuu back to to ship and took off. When they were out of the atmosphere, he turned to her, disgusted.

Manzuzuu stretched out her thin legs.“Don’t look at me like that. You knew what you were getting into.”

“I - I didn’t know you would be stabbing a corpse.” Finn stammered.

“Fresh ones work better but I can always count on my sister.”

“Why do you have to a stab corpse?”

“For strength, you idiot.”

“I thought it was so you could talk to the dead.” 

“Kylo Ren isn’t dead.”

Finn was startled. “But how?” 

“Beats me. I’m not a fucking Jedi.”

“Tell me every single thing he said.”

Finn’s fists clenched as she relayed conversation with Ben. 

->

Back on base, Finn returned Manzuzuu to her cell. She stared smugly at his sweaty face.

"So my dear little Finn, what would you give to get rid of Kylo Ren?"

"I don’t need _your_ help to get rid of him." Finn spat.

"Number 1. You wouldn’t have let me out and flown me all the way to Ajan Kloss if you weren't looking to get rid of Kylo Ren. And Number 2 He’s not dead. You just can’t see him."

Finn leaned closer. "OK, Hypothetically what would it take?"

"A lot." Manzuzuu whispered.

He furrowed his brow. "If we do this, it’s going to be on my terms." 

Manzuuzu smiled demurely. "Of course Finn, you’re totally in charge."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of Manzuzuu? 
> 
> We're getting progressively weirder here. I'd read a lot about the Capuchin Monastery Catacombs - I had a nightmare that inspired this chapter related to Manzuzuu's sister. 
> 
> I wasn’t sure if I should call them Sith Cultists or Sith Eternals. I went with the latter as Manzuzuu needs to have a power or two. I know they were supposed to spontaneously explode when Palpatine was destroyed but I figure there were probably a lot of support staff not in attendance that day on Exegol.


	12. Swept Aside

→ → 

Rey woke in the middle of the night. Crickets trilled and birds sang to each other in the distant jungle. She lay on her side watching Ben sleep. He slept like a corpse, perfectly straight with his hands resting on his chest. Had he learned to sleep like that as a Jedi? Had Snoke trained him to do this?

Sleeping in the same bed hadn't even been a conversation. 

She had taken a shower and changed into a men's shirt and boxers she'd found in the pilot's barracks. When she returned, she could hear Ben in the shower. She set out a pile of extra clothes for him, who knows what would fit. Knowing he was so close by, under the steaming shower made her blood race. A blush rose in her cheeks as she grabbed their dirty clothes up and tossed them into the ancient washing machine. 

→ → 

He had been full of questions. About the base, about how she'd learned to fly, her life on Jakku. He changed the pillow cases and straightened the room as she tried to keep up. How had she met Finn, what was her training like with Leia, how Chewie had handled Han's death. He was dusting, adjusting the crates, straightening the angles of combs, jewelry, putting Leia's books in alphabetical order. And suddenly, just like that, he was asleep in bed beside her. The soft mattress swayed slightly with his weight and she rolled slightly toward him. Rey froze, the newness of his bare leg against her was like an electric shock but Ben was fast asleep.

→ → 

His chest rose and fell slowly. Her heart caught on every delay of his breath. If he didn’t take the next breath, she was sure she would die alongside him. She imagined watching him disappear again, fading away from her. She wouldn’t be able to stop it, there would be nothing she could do. The thought of him leaving her alone was an overwhelming ache that caused her entire body to lurch. 

She thought of the lines she had etched into the wall of her makeshift home on Jakku. Loneliness had defined her life. It had made her strong, it had been a framework she could understand although she hated it with every fiber of her being.

Her feelings for him were impossible to sift through. Relief? Joy? She had to sweep aside the urge to measure his crimes against his acts of kindness. If she was rational, she would need to stand up and walk away from him now. The misery he had inflicted, the pain and needless suffering he had caused could never be repaid. Rey thought of Finn, of Poe, of all the brave Resistance soldiers who had been harmed by Ben. Was she betraying them with every touch she gave him, every embrace she accepted? 

Rey thought of Leia and her deep, unconditional love for her son. She tried to make sense of that large, limitless love. Ben was no longer Kylo Ren but it was still his calloused hands that had fired upon innocents. Part of him was still that man. She shivered, thinking of the pure fear she had felt facing him in that mask. She remembered her rage and complete hatred of him. 

But there was so much more to him than that. He had given up every single thing he valued to come to her aid. He had turned against Snoke and everything he had known. In her heart, she knew she could trust him. She had always trusted him. She had always loved him too. The second she had seen his face, her fate was sealed. Even though she had been imprisoned by him, she could tell by the dumbfounded expression on his face that he felt the same way. 

She knew he would kill for her, die for her and return from the dead to be with her. Even if nothing else in the galaxy made sense, his devotion did. In the distance, birds called out to each other. Rey listened to their mating calls, back and forth and back again. Ben was here and he was hers. There would be no courting rituals for them. His heart belonged to her, in life or in death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back and added this chapter, officially making myself one of those jerks that changes the dates on their work. I felt like I needed it to be there because I didn't write enough from Rey's point of view. Sorry - I know adding a chapter is a jerky move.


	13. Do Something Stupid

Ben set aside the tattered books he had been stacking and restacking. He had spent the day thinking about Finn and Manzuzuu's visit. "Do you think that necromancer was right? Do you think I’m here because of the dark side?" 

"No, I can’t see Leia dabbling in the dark side."

"I can communicate with my mother - at least, I can hear her voice whenever I'm being stupid." 

Rey laughed. "So try meditating or do something stupid."

"I’m good at stupid but I’m terrible at meditating."

"Well that’s shocking."

"I can't relax." Ben's voice sounded hollow.

Rey plopped herself down next to him. "What do you think would relax you more than anything?" She arched an eyebrow and winked playfully.

He froze. "Wait - I think we should have our first times be on Tattoine." 

She stared at him open mouthed. "You’ve never?" 

He could feel his face redden."You would be my first and my only." 

She studied him with wonder. He was 10 years her senior and had been the Supreme Leader of the First Order. "All those years?"

He shook his head vigorously. "It was highly discouraged."

"No wonder you were such a monster!"

He threw his head back, laughing.

”You must have had opportunities, right” Rey asked.

Ben was flummoxed, trying to think through his puzzling interactions with female officers. “Maybe? I wasn’t tuned into physical interactions like I am now.” Ben flushed profusely. “What about you?" His face etched with worry.

"Countless, countless lovers." She grinned as his jaw dropped. "OK, 5 times with two different people."

"Not with Uncle Luke, I hope?"

"Gods no! Gross!" Rey swatted him with a pillow. "I think he wanted to throw me off a cliff."

"He tried to kill me in my sleep."

"Yes, I remember. You keep mentioning it over and over. How about this?" Rey rolled into her side. "How about we practice tuning into our _physical interaction_ so we don’t completely flood Tatooine?" 

"I don’t know how to do anything use-useful" he stammered. 

"C'mon, it will help you meditate." 

"I don’t see how touching you could ever help me meditate." His voice was husky with desire.

"My gods, you're repressed. Please stand up." 

She took his hand and led him out to the grassy field beside the officer's barracks. The stars looked so faded and far away. She slipped her hands under his shirt at his waist. Thunder rumbled in the distance as she ran her hands back down the sides of his rib cage to his waist. His skin was smooth and warm. He shuddered at her touch.

Ben’s voice was strained and nervous. "Why are we outside? I should put shoes on. Your socks are going to get dirty -"

Warmth flooded Rey's heart as she sensed his fear and insecurity. She touched her finger to his wide lips. "Shhhh."

Lightning shot across the sky with a boom close enough to make them both jump. He grabbed her, pulling their chests together.

“Where were we before you died?” She whispered.

He leaned close, his lips so close to hers. He cradled her face with both of his hands. Her skin was so smooth. He traced the outline of her lips with his thumb. Her lips parted slightly at his touch. His eyes scanned hers, before he slowly leaned toward her. His movements were so slow she started to laugh. His lips brushed his against hers and he could feel the blood pulse in his head. Her magnetic pull overwhelmed his senses. His arms clutched the back of her shirt, as he tried to maintain control. The sensation of their skin touching made his head swim. Rain began to fall in large drops.

 ** _Closer_** , he urged through their connection. He took her lips again, his breath was hot and ragged but his lips pressed hers softly.

 _ **Be with me.**_ She murmured through the rhythm of their kisses. She slipped her arms around him, pulling their chests together. His fingers traced her cheeks, the sides of her neck before coming to rest on her ears. 

Her lips were so soft. He struggled to make sense of the sensation. Rey was surprised when he pulled away, his eyes still closed, lips parted. His hand slipped behind her neck softly. He rested his forehead against hers, as he gasped for breath.

Rain fell in sheets. Ben flung his arms wide, feeling the universe flowing through Rey, through him. He felt the force in a personal way he'd never felt before. It was safe and timeless and beautiful.

"Be with me." His voice strained against the pounding rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally kissing!


	14. Forceful Grace

Toweled off and happy, they sat back to back in meditation posture on Commander D'Acy's pillow topped bed. Their connection had become so fluid, sending thoughts to each other was as effortless as breathing.

"I'm terrible at this" Ben said quietly.

"You've been meditating for less than a minute" Rey pointed out.

 **Be with me, be with me, be with me.** She repeated.

A wave of warmth ran through her as she felt his Force ripple toward her. **Be with me, be with me, be with me...** His low voice joined hers.

Every worry, heavy thought, each regret faded as he let himself fall into the forceful grace of her affection. He finally felt safe. 

He let go of the threads of the present and meditated as Luke had taught him years ago. His body lost its mooring and he drifted from his body. He was in a space without the weight of word or time or space. The Netherworld of the Force was just beyond him. He felt like a child on a swing, back and forth, forward and back. The fuller his embrace of each breath, the further he went. And then, in an exhale he was gone. 

He called out to his mother without words, focusing on her clear, crisp force energy. Without trying to, he was at the entrance to the Netherworld. It looked like a small cave in the forest. A small figure in a plain hooded robe appeared before him.

"I need to find my Mother." It was hard to talk. He wasn’t sure how to make his voice louder.

The small figure nodded. She had escorted him to and from the Jedi Council before. Now she led him into the cave and down a shadowy hallway. He could hear quiet voices but it almost felt like it was all inside his head.

He stumbled in the low light and his mother was at his side, there to steady him. She looked the way she had when he was little, her long chestnut hair arranged in a meticulous braided bun. The way she smiled at him melted at the edges of old hurts. Impulsively he squeezed her hand. Leia laughed and gently brushed the side of his ear like she used to when he was young. There was no pain in their connection anymore. He was her son again. Somehow he knew, despite all the years and pain he had caused, she still loved him. 

"There’s been a disturbance, hasn’t there?" Leia's voice was low and gravely.

"Sith Eternal." He whispered, each word an concentrate effort. 

"Those demented assholes. What did they say to you?" 

"Cr - creepy stuff." He stammered.

"What did they say that scared you enough to meditate? You used to hate it so much." Leia touched his hair hesitantly. 

"There was a - a necromancer said my return was through the dark side?"

"No! Not a bit. It was the will of the Jedi Council."

"Or the w-will of Leia Organa?"

"Oh, I don’t have any power here." She said breezily.

Ben rolled his eyes and instantly regretted how dizzy he felt. “Who can say no to you?”

"You, for one." Her eyes crinkled around the edges as she smiled sadly. "Your scruffyass father for another."

Ben felt himself falter at his father’s name. He felt like his knees were going to collapse. Somewhere in the world beyond, Rey’s energy floated him back up.

"Come with me, Ben. I'll let _him_ tell you about your resurrection in person."

Fearing who _he_ might be, the hair on Ben’s arms stood up as his mother and the hooded figure guided him into a large room that seemed to expand around them.

In the center, two Jedi in traditional robes were engaged in the strangest battle he’d ever seen. Every movement was slowed down and completed within audible breaths. There was no sound except for the liquid hum of lightsabers and the long deep breaths. The taller Jedi seemed to be setting the pace of the battle. Each form was a breath in and a matching exhale. The younger Jedi deflected the blows easily. Meanwhile the older Jedi was so extraordinarily graceful it was hard to look at anything else. 

"That’s Qui-Gon Jinn." Leia whispered. "Isn’t he magnificent?"

The older Jedi started to alter the pace of the battle. The younger Jedi couldn’t contain his delight and started to deflect blows with swift jabs.

"Obviously _that’s_ Obi-Wan Kenobi." Leia pointed to the shorter, more wiry combatant. 

Obi-wan glanced over at the sound of his name. He smiled wickedly and with slight bow to his master, whacked the saber out of Qui-Gon’s hand, grinning as it spun toward the wall.

As the lightsaber sputtered to a stop at Qui-Gon's feet, there was a smattering of applause. Ben suddenly noticed they weren't alone in the room. Lining the walls were the members of the Jedi Council. The same Jedi whose damning words had rendered him almost catatonic. 

“Ben Solo!” Obi-Wan called. “Join us?” He twirled his lightsaber. Don’t worry, it can’t hurt you here. He tapped the lightsaber against his arm without harm. 

“Most of the time.” Ki-Adi-Mundi called out with a chuckle.  
  


Obi-Wan drew his saber to him effortlessly through the force and tossed it to Ben.

Ben’s arms shook as he activated the saber. He was using Obi-Wan Kenobi’s lightsaber to spar against Qui-Gon Jinn! He couldn’t believe he was about to face the Jedi he had read about in history books. 

“Master Kenobi.” He bowed 

“Just Obi-wan, please.”

“I’m Master Qui-Gon Jinn.” 

Ben bowed and felt a sharp thrill when Qui-Gon returned the gesture. 

Ben breathed a sigh of relief when they began sparring at a normal pace. Qui-Gon took the offense, making the first contact. Ben defelected his blows investing each block with strength. He knew the more experienced Jedi was toying with him, more interested in watching him than anything else. He is curious about Ben’s abilities. Qui-Gon’s form was impeccable while Ben was all physicality, power and speed. Qui-Gon out maneuvered Ben's clumsy blows with little effort backing Ben into a corner.

Across the room, he saw Mace Windu and Master Luke whispering. Next to Luke, a radiant woman watched with interest. Though her hair was shorter, there was no mistaking Padme Amidala’s face. Her smile caught him off guard and he stumbled.

Luke laughed and Ben’s anger kicked in. He spun and stepped into his next blow, regaining ground. 

“Excellent!” Obi-Wan encouraged. "Keep your wrist a little higher. Don’t let him use his height against you."

Ben swung from below, pleased to be forcing Qui-Gon’s blade closer to his face. 

“Don’t make the mistake of hitting from below, you’re leaving your head unprotected.” Qui-Gon advised kindly. 

Ben nodded and changed tactics, striking from above, forcing Qui-Gon back a step.

Ben made the mistake of making eye contact with his opponent. He expected to see frustration or anger on his opponent's face but Qui-Gon was smiling at him. A chill ran through him wondering if his face betrayed the panic he felt: how inferior he felt, how obvious it must be that he had been poorly trained. His hands shook horribly as Qui-Gon delivered a crushing blow from above. In an instant, Ben found himself flat on his back. Their lightsabers crackled and hummed with the combined energy. In an moment of clarity, Ben simultaneously kicked out at Qui-Gon’s ankle and reached up and grabbed Qui-Gon’s saber in the middle of the light stream. He pulled it down, bringing a surprised Qui-Gon with it.

Obi-Wan clapped. “Well done, Solo!”

“If that was on, he would have lost a hand!” Leia scolded.

Obi-Wan helped Ben off the floor. He clamped a hand on his shoulder. “Faith and courage! You had blind faith in what I told you the saber was safe and you kept fighting even when your back was on the ground. That’s courage.”

Ben’s spirit warmed with pride. For the brief moment he allowed himself to imagine what his training would have been like with Obi-Wan.

”It’s less courage than blasted stupidity.” Luke countered from across the room. 

Ben flushed with embarrassment.

Obi-Wan caught Ben’s eyes quickly, offering a quick smile and a roll of his eyes. “He doesn’t like to see _other_ people win.” He whispered. 

Ben studied the legendary Jedi with wonder. Why was he being so kind? He followed Obi-Wan’s steady gaze across the room to where Padme stood in the shadows. The look that passed between them that was unmistakable. Her smile was so radiant and contagious that he found himself lost in her gaze, a goofy grin plastered on his face.

Obi-Wan walked him out as Plo Koon and Mace Windu took up their sabers. Ben wanted to stay and watch but he felt powerless to do anything but follow Obi-Wan, his mother. The hooded guide was nowhere to be found as they down the long hallway. 

“Ask him!” Leia commanded.

Ben felt like a child. He cleared his throat. “How-how did I come back from death?”

Obi-Wan leveled his eyes at Ben. “I arranged it.” His voice was casual. 

“How?” 

“Well, your mother and grandmother yelled at me until I made it happen.”

“Padme Amidala?”

“She’s a very forceful personality. It’s extremely difficult to argue against her.” Obi-Wan’s eyes sparkled merrily. “And your mother is terrible bully.”

”It wasn’t the dark side of the force?” Ben couldn’t disguise the desperation in his voice.

Obi-Wan’s smiled happily. “Not on my watch. We have a very powerful healer on our side.”

“Am - am I alive?” 

“You’re a lot more alive than you think.” Obi-Wan said with a chuckle. “If you can return to us tomorrow, I will tell you more.”

“Unless you’re too busy making it rain!” Leia’s throaty laugh was he last thing he heard before he returned into the present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing Leia. Her voice hums in my ear. I like when she acts the role of overprotective mother.
> 
> I feel like this is the point in the story where things start to get weird with all the characters in the Netherworld. Ghosts, ghosts, ghosts. The battle exercise is an echo of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon's training exercises in my other work, Visitation.


	15. Together as Physical Beings

Ben returned from the world between worlds in a rush. "I want to go back to Tattoine." 

Rey’s toes curled up at the thought of kissing Ben in the room with the amber lights. "We were just there but yes, that sounds excellent." 

"The symbol, the books we couldn't read. I want to go back and look at them. I think there’s something I’m missing."

"You mean these?” Rey pulled out the slim volumes out from under her bed. 

Ben stared at her in surprise. "You’re such a thief!"

"I’m a scavenger, remember? What did you call me, a desert rat?"

→

"I get it." Ben flipped open the volumes. He pointed to the symbol in the books matching the perfume bottle. "It’s here. I know exactly what it is." He tapped rapidly onto Rey’s computer, pulling up a holo. "Shadda-Bi-Boran. It was an outer rim planet. It’s sun was dying - is dying. It’s uninhabited but many years ago, a young Padmé Amidala traveled there with her father to try to relocate their population. That symbol should be on the first pages of these books."

Rey checked. "You're right. It's on each of the spines of the books too. How did you know that?"

Ben sat back. "It's the symbol on the flag of Shadda-Bi-Boran."

Rey's mouth dropped open. 'D-O said _outdated_. It's a flag for a world that doesn't exist anymore. How did you-?"

"I saw her in the Netherworld. And then it clicked." Ben pointed the image of the flag bearing the symbol on the halo, excitedly. “It makes sense, doesn’t it?" 

"No, not really. I don't get it." Rey stared at the holo of the flag of Shadda-Bi-Boran. "How on earth did you know?"

"She’s my grandmother. I did my research. She wrote about it when she was Queen. She gave a speech she says she would try 10,000 times in order to save one person." He frowned thinking of her relationship with Anakin. "Anyway, the whole thing fell apart and the evacuees all died."

Rey’s face registered shock. "That's awful."

Ben continued. "There was something in their air or water. When they left their planet - there must have been something that they couldn’t survive without -pollen, who knows? And one person after another died. My grandmother wrote about it as a turning point in her life." 

Rey stared at him in confusion. "I don't understand what you’re trying to tell me. Why is the perfume bottle symbol on the floor at Obi-Wan's? Why were-" 

"-Padme was on Tatooine." Ben interrupted her. "These books are hers, not Obi-Wan’s. It was said that Obi-Wan learned to communicate with his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn while he was stuck in the desert. Think about it." Ben grinned the biggest smile Rey had ever seen. "He was communing with Padme too." 

"What?"

"They were on Tatooine together as physical beings."

"My god, they were together?"

Ben bit back a grin. "Rey, I saw them in the Netherworld. They are in love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a clunker to write. Does it make sense? 
> 
> I had planned to drag out the symbols being connected to Padme and keep her relationship with Obi-Wan a mystery to Ben and Rey but I ended up going in another direction. I hope I sewed it up convincingly.


	16. Counting Days

Ben scratched marks on the walls of Commander D'Acy's quarters, marking off their days together. "This is day 3 together. Best day of my life."

Rey studied his handsome face. As Kylo Ren, he had been so terse and harsh. He seemed like an entirely different person from the animated man before her. He stripped off his shirt and hauled Rey down onto the bed, recounting his time in the Netherworld as he cuddled up next to her. Everything was abstract and held a dreamlike quality. She'd heard of Qui-Gon Jinn but the other Jedi he mentioned were unknown to her.

"I can't believe Luke didn't mention any of them to you! When I was at his temple, he was always talking about Jedi history."

"He only gave me 3 lessons. We had to skip over the history class."

"Oh my gods, what a dick."

"The two of you have such a complicated relationship." Rey mused.

She fell asleep listening to Ben happily replaying his entire visit. Even when she was too tired to follow his words, the sound of his low boyish voice filled her with joy.

→  
Rey was startled out of a deep sleep by Ben's voice in her ear.

"Rey!"

She sat up with a start. "Gods, what’s wrong?!”

"I never told you that I love you." His whisper tickled her ear.

"Message received. Good night." She flopped back down on her pillow.

"Rey!"

She turned to stare at him. He looked hurt. She frowned at his earnest expression. "What’s wrong?"

He smiled sweetly. "This is all new to me. I just wanted to make sure you knew I loved you."

She reached out to feel his chest moving, to make sure he was still alive before flopping back into her pillow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luke bashing. Perhaps a bit harsh.


	17. Ma Fas

Rey leveled eyes with Ben. “I’m going ask you, one last time to go back to base. Ma Fas can be a bit rough around the edges.”

Ben shrugged. “I’ve never met a Mohsenian before. I’m curious.”

Rey winced. "The last time I saw her, I was with Finn. She was partial to him." 

"Another reason to be curious about her." Ben dug his hands into his pockets as they walked. She loved seeing him relaxed like this.

They trudged through the lush jungle, listening to birds squawk. 

"Well, remember you've been warned. Stay behind me."

"Message received." He answered with a smile.

→

Ma Fas trudged up the time worn trail to meet Rey. She peered from side to side, trying to look behind Rey. “Where’s my little chunky boy Finn? Wait - what is this good sized fellow?” She gave Ben a head to toe appraisal. 

Ben voiced his alarmed. “You can see me?” He studied the creature with large, glossy black eyes, white fur and creamy skin. It had claw like hands and a pronounced snout. 

The Mohsenian smirked. “Ma Fas can see and smell everyone. Especially a nice fat man.” 

“Ma Fas’ species eat their mates.” Rey added helpfully. 

Ma Fas grinned happily at Ren. “You should try it, little Ren, get a little meat on your bones so you can have some babies like mine here. She pointed to the soggy growth sacks sprouting on each side of her back. Small, boney, wide eyed creatures squirmed inside their egg sacks. 

“In twenty years, Ma Fas’ babies will grow so large that they’ll start to eat her.” Rey recited from memory.

“Ooooh they’ll eat me all up and then they’ll grow strong and take their rightful place on this planet. Until then, I’ll be the strong one feeding them.” She turned serious. “Are you needing to feed some soldier boys of your own, little Rey?”

“We’re going to start training force users at the base.”

“Like this one here? I don’t like Jedi types. If I’m gonna go chasing my food, I might as well be eating snakes” She took a long sniff of Ben. “I don’t like the way he smells but he might not taste too bad.” Her mouth gently clomped down on Ben’s arm. 

“Ma Fas!” Rey shrieked and grabbed Ben’s arm away. 

“Blech! You taste like coconuts. “I like a nice big boy with meaty legs and flat feet. What do your feet look like, boy?”

 **_Do not take off your shoes._ **Rey warned Ben through their connection.

“Ma Fas!” Rey snapped her fingers. “Please work with me? We need to set up a food supply chain with your people again for our training center. Fruit and vegetables for twenty people for the first year and then we’ll renegotiate.”

“Will you bring me a nice fat boy? I'll make a fine soup out of his bones.”

“I’ll bring you 2 luggabeasts.” Rey countered. “You liked that last one.”

“Mphh.” She frowned. “Too chewy. Bring me seven of those big Dewbacks and we’ll call it a deal.”

She and Rey shook hands.

Ma Fas took a long lick of Ben’s arm. “I wish you tasted better cuz I do like the way you make it rain.” She whispered. 

Rey’s eyes flew open in surprise. 

Ma Fas narrowed her eyes. "Little Rey, don't you think I can tell the difference between regular rain and love rain?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure that Mas Fas needs to exist in the story but I'd already written it and I think she's cute.


	18. Harm

Ben ran the training course with Rey before she left to meet up with Poe to discuss the next steps for creating a Jedi Training Center.

He felt their connection vibrate through space growing less secure as she left the atmosphere. **Be with me be with me.** He whispered. 

It was too quiet, too peaceful. Ben made the mistake of looking at himself in the oval mirror in Commander D'Acy’s quarters. He was shirtless, his hair disheveled. He missed seeing the scar that Rey had given him. The scar had made him look like he felt inside. As he studied himself, he flashed to killing Han. A hundred other lives flashed before him. Senseless killings.

How was he supposed to face Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon Jinn? _Why were they being nice to him?_ He deserved their condemnation. 

"I’m disgusting. I’m nothing without her." He whispered. Without thinking, he hit the mirror. Cracks radiated outward, splintering his image. He slapped himself in the face. The pain felt good. The pain overshadowed his inner turmoil. He hit himself again, harder this time. 

"I'm a monster." He said the words out loud. Quiet at first and then louder. "I am a monster." He grabbed a heart shaped crystal from Commander D'Acy’s nightstand and slashed at his arm repeatedly. Blood rose and filled the thin lines. He grabbed Rey’s staff to hit himself.

 _**Don’t you fucking dare!** _Rey’s voice cut through their connection. The staff flew out of his hands and clattered against the wall.

Rey’s voice was icy. **_You will stop this now! You are mine and I will not allow you to treat yourself like this._**

Ben looked at himself in the mirror. His face was red, his eyes were dark. **_You can’t actually care about me._ **

**_I don’t believe this. I have been gone for 20 minutes and this is how you act? I should have let Mas Fas eat you!_ **

He laughed in spite of himself.  
  


**_Be with me, Ben Solo. Be with me._ **

Rey’s force hummed against him gently, softening his edges. Her force pushed him down to sit on the bed. **_Be with me or so help me gods, I will overrun that base with Gungans and you will never, ever have a moment of peace._ **

Ben felt his breathing slowly returning to normal. ** _Stop making me laugh._**

**Stop treating yourself like this.**

He took a deep breath. He was used to his suffering being his own business. For so long it had sustained him, it had fueled him. Now it was hurting Rey. He focused his eyes on Leia’s perfume bottle. He dabbed himself with his mother’s comforting scent. **_I am with you Rey. I love you._ **

**I like that we’re saying the word love.**

**Technically, I feel like I should get credit for saying it first. Last night, you were indifferent.**

**I do love you Ben Solo. I love you.**

**Thank you for reaching me when no one else could.**

**You reached me too. Now, meditate please. Go to your Jedi Land and do whatever it is that Dead Jedi do. Keep yourself safe until I return. I will expect you to kiss me senseless tonight**

He sat in crossed legged meditation pose and began to inhale and exhale the way Luke had taught him. He frowned, thinking of Luke laughing at him the previous day. He set aside his irritation with Luke. **_Be with me. Be with me._ **

Rey’s energy flowed around him like a river. 

**My love.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a chapter I wrote and rewrote. I struggled with the idea of Ben harming himself but I feel like his anger was often directed toward objects or himself. It doesn't make sense to me if he's suddenly a new shiny person - his return needs to be meaningful and part of that is struggling with self hatred. 
> 
> This is probably the least gross version of the chapter.


	19. Like Snow

Connecting with Obi-Wan took massive effort. Meditation had never come naturally to him. Without Rey, he was uncentered and jittery. He could hear Obi-Wan’s distant voice calling out to him but on his own, he felt himself unsteady as he moved toward the edge of the Netherworld. He stumbled like a drunk. His hooded guide stood at the entrance and grabbed his arm to steady him. She was small but strong. Her hood slipped and he saw his guide’s face. He was staring at Padme Amidala.

Ben dropped to one knee as and lowered his eyes.

"Ben Solo, do not kneel before me!" Her soft voice commanded.

He rose and she took his hands in hers. 

“Please look me in the eye when I speak to you." Her voice was regal.

His eyes shifted from the floor to meet her gentle stare. "Yes, Grandmother." He whispered.

Suddenly, her stern expression shifted to a glorious smile that made his heart ache. "With one word, you have made my heart whole. I have carried love for you since you were born. I wish so much that I could have been there to care for you." She reached out with a tentative hand to touch his cheek. "I am so sorry the emperor’s brutality was focused on breaking your soul."

Tears blurred his vision. "Thank you for the second chance. I know you and my mother were the ones who fought for my return. It is a gift you will not regret giving me."

They walked through a courtyard filled with flowers. She seemed at home amongst the drifting petals. "Where do you need to go today, my dear Grandson?"

"I’m going to meet with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon Jinn."

She nodded. "But you're worried, are you not?" 

Flower petals swirled through air like snow. He studied a pink petal that had drifted onto his sleeve. It seemed out of place against his drab black sweater. Padme gently touched his chin, forcing him to meet her eyes. His breath shook as he inhaled. “I don't deserve to be in their company."

"It would be a shame to waste a second chance at life hating yourself." She took his arm.

"How do I make peace with all the horrible things I've done? Please tell me what to do."

Padme looked up at him. "Ben Solo, haven’t you spent enough time taking orders?"

He bowed slightly to her. "Yes, Grandmother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This mini-chapter was probably the most fun to write. 
> 
> Ben kneels before her like he always did with Snoke but she will not tolerate it. I loooove Padme. The 'With one word, you have made my heart whole.' line references the grandmother's sentiment in The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood. Not trying to name drop - just letting you know I'm not that original.


	20. Hanger Bay 5

8 hours earlier, Poe’s biggest problem was that he had slept with the wrong woman.

Both of the ambassadors from Naboo had been lovely but he had been completely mesmerized by the stranger of the two. The representatives from Naboo had arrived that afternoon to discuss Mid-Rim Trade Route security armed with several large bottles of Emerald Wine. Ambassador Carm Pille drank like a fish and Poe struggled to keep up with her constant toasts and cheers. Sola, her diminutive assistant didn't even finish her first glass. Poe wondered if the petite blond aide was doubling as security detail for the hard drinking ambassador. Sola was quiet, fiercely intelligent with an androgynous beauty. Poe had always appreciated beautiful women but there was something entirely different about his attraction to Sola.

Her ID file showed her age to be 28 but she looked substantially younger and acted decades older. While Carm Pille referred to note cards on security questions, Sola seemed extraordinarily well versed on every element of Naboo's trade route, fueling stations, security protocals and had defensive strategies committed to memory. She asked Poe about the Battle of D'Qar until he was too drunk to speak.

Sleeping with Ambassador Carm had been a complete mistake. After one too many glasses of emerald wine, he’d staggered off to his quarters and found Carm Pille naked in his bed. It wasn’t until he was coming in her mouth that he realized the magnitude of his error.   
  
⇆  
  
What he wouldn’t give to go back to sex with the wrong woman being his biggest problem? Poe sat in his office, horribly hungover, eyes swollen with tears, wishing for the millionth time that he wasn’t the commanding officer. 

Ambassador Sola appeared in his doorway like a hallucination. She wore a long hooded dress made from a shimmery grey fabric and a simple amber crystal around her neck.

He scrambled to his feet. "Ambassadorial Aide Sola, I- I thought your ship had left. The base is on lockdown. We’re only allowing top priority departures. I cleared your transport personally."  
  


"Yes, our ship left for Naboo as scheduled. Thank you General Dameron. I do not require a transport to depart. I came to check on you."

He shook his head slightly, unable to make sense of her statement. Poe gulped, “Everything is a disaster.”

“General, is the base secure?” Sola stepped closer.

Poe nodded, his shoulders twitching. “They’ve got the fires out and we’ve notified families. I - I have to give an interview to the Galactic media in 10 minutes and then I need to brief the generals on the catastrophe."

To his utter confusion, she breezed past him leaving a wake of soft perfume. Sola walked to the small office fresher, returning with a damp towel. She stepped so close to him that he could look down the front of her dress, oggling her bright pink bra. Poe froze as she followed his gaze, her placid expression turned to smirk for a split second. Then she inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, her small hands caressed his temples. In an instant, his pounding headache was gone. His jaw and fist unclenched slowly, slowly until he felt human again.

  
"Oh gods, I feel better." He whispered. "What did you do?" She touched the lightsaber on her belt by way of explanation. He was spellbound. How had he not noticed that last night? "Are you a Jedi or something?"

"Or something." She gave him the smallest glimmer of a smile. Sola took the wet towel and carefully wiped away the sweat from his face. He trembled from the tenderness of her touch. she refolded the towel and softly cleaned his neck, smoothing his hair in the process. She titled her head, looking at him critically for a moment and then tousled his hair slightly.

She buttoned his shirt to the top, straightened his jacket. "There, you look presentable now. Appearance isn’t everything but it is something."

Poe wanted to kiss her. Or throw himself at her feet. Follow her to the ends of the galaxy. Fly away together and never, ever look back.

Sola walked to the door. "You are the son of Lieutenant Shara Bey and Sergeant Kes Dameron. Remember to stand up straight when you talk to the media, Poe. You are the face of the Resistance now. Make General Organa proud."

→

After several wrong turns, Rey found Poe's office at the end of a long hall. General Poe Dameron sat in his office with the lights turn down low. He looked up sadly when she entered.

"Are you alright?"

"I fucked up Rey. I fucked up big time." Poe sunk back into his chair. It had been Leia's chair but somehow it seemed to big for him.

Rey sat down across the desk from him. 

"Storm troopers have been surrendering all over the galaxy. Some days it’s two hundred, some days it’s 2. Almost all of them want to stay military since they don’t know any other way of life. Some of these troopers are teenagers as young as twelve." 

Rey gasped. "I had no idea they were so young." 

"Last night, I mean early morning, we were hailed. On the comm link they could see these kids in stormtrooper gear. My gods Rey, they looked like little kids playing dress up. There’s about million of them packed in a AAL-1971 transport. There’s a second ship behind them, another junked up transport. They tell us the 2nd ship’s comm system is down. They request to land, we give them clearance for hanger bay 5."

Rey could feel a chill sweep down her spine.

Fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, Poe's voice cracked. "We don’t think anything of it 'cuz this is happening all day, every single day. Then the 2nd junker transport opens fire on the teenager's ship. The ship with the kids ship must have been packed to the hilt with explosives, hanger 5 and 6 were destroyed in the explosion. We had a full crew of guys just doing their jobs on the decks - they died instantly. Then the second ship’s comm link opens and it’s two of those fucking Knights of Ren psychopaths. They opened fire. We didn’t have our shields up, we weren’t prepared. We should’ve had tighter security Rey.” 

"How many?" Rey asked softly.

"137." Poe exhaled slowly. "I know in the grand scheme of things it’s not - " Poe’s voice cracked with emotion. "But I thought we were done burying our friends."

Rey walked behind the desk and hugged him. "I’m so sorry."

"I’m up to my fucking eyeballs in fueling station security and Mid Rim / Outer Rim trade route bullshit. None of which I give half a shit about. Finn is helping with the surrendering troopers but he’s being a total dick about you and the ghost of Kylo Ren. So I’ve got Rose working with Commander D’Acy on a plan for the Knights. God knows, she’s sweet but Rose doesn’t know a damn thing about combat let alone Force wielding nut jobs." 

"I can help." Rey offered. "I’ll help with whatever you need."

Poe studied Rey's face and chose his next words carefully "If - if for some reason, you _are_ able to communicate with Ben Solo’s force spirit on some plane of existence, or whatever he is, maybe he could help us get a handle on the Knights of Ren."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help making Poe promiscuous. He always gave off that vibe to me. 
> 
> Do I have any reason to believe any of the Knights of Ren survived? Not really but I figure they're sort of like Menudo the Puerto Rican-based boy band. It was just a name of a group with expendable members. If any of them survived, they'd go ahead and recruit some more.


	21. Extremely Practical Research

Ben had gotten better at meditating. He still felt like he was heaving himself between worlds but it was getting easier. Each time, his Grandmother stood waiting for him at the edge of the Netherworld of the Force. She held onto his arm and they walked together. Whatever nerves or jitters he felt were calmed by her smile. She was small like Leia and her presence was just as steady. But unlike his mother, he found Padme enjoyed silence as he did. They walked together, admiring the slow moving clouds. She directly him to where Qui Gon and Obi-Wan sat on the floor of the dueling room waiting for him. He felt a wave of panic roll over him. Padme had squeezed his shoulder and offered him an encouraging smile before leaving him.

Ben expected an inquisition Obi-Wan and Qui Gon but was pleasantly surprised to find they only wanted to talk. They asked about his training, the years with Snoke, the connection with Rey. He had never spoken like this with Master Luke. They wanted to know how he had figured out Force stasis, Force Healing and his fluid ability to communicate with Rey. 

"Could you speak to others before Rey?" Qui Gon enquired.

Ben shook his head. "Not while I was alive."

"I think it would be most wise to think of yourself as among the living.” Qui-Gon advised.

"But-"

”Let us be clear: you are not dead.” Obi-Wan stated.

"But - but people can't see me." Ben stammered.

"Yes, you're cloaking yourself. We're not entirely sure how you're doing that. The effort necessary to maintain that for extended periods should have killed you by now. So well done on that front."

"Yes. Cloaking, Force Telepathy with Rey. It's quite impressive."

"I can hear my Mother too. She’s pretty loud." Ben said after a pause. 

They laughed. It felt good to laugh. He looked at Obi-Wan, embarrassed. "I think I can hear you too, Master Kenobi. I could hear you call out to me from the Netherworld.”

Qui Gon cast a questioning glance at Obi-Wan who shrugged. "No one said I couldn’t talk to him." Obi-Wan’s eyes sparkled. "And Ben, I must insist you call me Obi-Wan. I am not a Jedi Master anymore."

Ben’s mouth fell open. 

"Does that surprise you?"

"You are - you were a legend among Jedi. You’re in history books."

Obi-Wan smiled. "You have me confused with a little green fellow. I happily let go of the title of Jedi years ago-"

" -But he still dresses the part." Qui Gon interrupted.

Ben looked around, making sure no one was listening. "Did you give it up for Padme?"

"Oh that’s another story for another day." Obi-Wan blushed. "Master Qui Gon and I feel there are powers may be able to develop working together with Rey."

Ben held his breath. 

"Teleportation in battle, for example." Qui Gon leaned forward, excited. "Mind probe, force shield creation, force drain-"

"Force Drain is a Sith power." Ben countered.

"Well you _were_ trained by a Sith of sorts." Obi-Wan’s tone was casual but he watched Ben's reactions closely.

"You’ve seen me fight. I’m not that good. I’m not very good at anything."

Ben jumped out of his skin as Yoda hobbled into the room. "Inadequate training, you have had. On both sides of the force, I’m afraid."

Ben shifted uncomfortably, he stared at the floor. "I was a terrible student."

"Bah." Yoda admonished. "Terrible, all students are."

A wave of shame washed over Ben. "I couldn’t do even do basic telepathy."

"But you can now with Rey." Obi-Wan reminded him gently. 

"But that’s because of our connection, because of her strength."

"Safe with her, you feel?”

Ben smiled thinking of Rey. 

"Troubles you, does it when training comes so naturally for her? While harder you must work?"

"No, not at all. She is stronger with the Force. I understand that."

Yoda reached out slightly with his hand, checking to see if Ben was lying.

Ben felt slightly sick wondering what Yoda might be seeing inside his head. He didn’t dare make eye contact with Yoda. "Rey is very powerful." 

"Masterful practitioners of the force, Palpatines are. With power, great danger comes."

Qui Gon nodded. "She was destined for darkness and you were destined for the light. Fate flipped for you both. Thank gods you found each other. Your guilt and grief over the past will ground her and help keep her safe from the darkness."

Yoda nodded and disappeared without a trace.

Ben released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

Obi-Wan grinned. "Master Yoda has given us permission to train with you. We look forward to training with you both."

"Rey will be thrilled. She wants to start a training center. A Jedi Temple."

"You can’t wear two shoes on the same foot." Qui Gon said mysteriously.

"Oh good gods, stop being cryptic. The boy looks like he’s about to vomit. What Master Qui Gon is trying to say is that because the two of you are in love, your temple cannot be a traditional Jedi temple."

Ben was at a loss for words. He felt his heart sinking at the thought of losing Rey. "It’s wrong but we need to be together." 

"Oh, it’s not wrong and we do not wish you two apart under any circumstances." Obi-Wan reassured. “You’re an absolute disaster on your own and she’s likely to follow the same path as Luke. Self hatred, doubt and isolation. You two need each other.”

"Even if you end up flooding every planet in the galaxy." Qui Gon chuckled.

"You’re more powerful together." Obi-Wan said evenly. "You can accomplish so much. There are many ways to enhance your bond."

Ben couldn’t help smile. He looked down at his hands. "Um, the room in your home on Tatooine seemed to enhance our bond."

Qui Gon threw his head back, roaring with laughter.

Obi-Wan blushed scarlet."That room holds the sacred Healing Crystals of Fire. It has extremely practical research applications." 

"Ben Solo, have you done practical research there?" Qui Gon laughed.

Ben’s lips curled into a slight smile. "There was significant rainfall that day."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like the idea that Ben is terrified of Yoda. 
> 
> Also, explanation of the special room at Obi-Wan's.


	22. Deserve

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon walked Ben walked back toward the entrance to the Netherworld, talking happily about the training center.

"We don’t know how to find force sensitive beings. Do we run midichlorian tests?"

Obi-Wan’s eyes twinkled, a smile crept onto his face. "Absolutely not. Those tests are a security headache. I will connect you with a Force Seeker." 

"A what?"

"A Force Seeker is a trained to detect force sensitives more effectively than doing a midichlorian sweep."

Ben searched his memory. "I’ve never heard of a Force Seeker."

Obi-Wan's beamed. "My daughter is quite talented." 

Ben stopped in his tracks. "Wait - wait - you have a daughter?"

"I have five." Obi-Wan’s smile was contagious.  
  


→  
  


Ben returned to his meditative state filled with joy and newfound purpose. Rey was sitting knee to knee with him, rocks floating around her. 

"Show off." He whispered into her ear. His lips dropped to her neck, kissing a line from behind her ear to her collar bone.

Pebbles clattered to the ground.

Rey scowled at him. "Your stupid Knights of Ren buddies are on the rampage." 

"I’m sorry." He grinned, dimples on display. 

"Why the hell are you smiling?!"

"I was talking to Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-wan Kenobi." He drew out the syllables of their names for full effect. "Yoda was there too. My gods, he scares the hell out of me."

"Did you get to spar?"

"We talked. Besides you, I’ve never really talked to anyone. Like ever. I was always on guard with Snokes voice inside my head."

Impulsively, she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. 

"For as long as I remember, I haven’t had hope. Even when I was training with Luke, I didn’t feel like he had any faith in me. They - they see everything that’s wrong with me and they still treat me like an equal."

Rey smiled. "I'm glad you're in a good mood because I need to ask you a favor."

"Anything. Anything for you. Oh hey, we're going to have some visitors soon."

"Who?" She frowned thinking of the necromancer.

"Obi-Wan and a Force Seeker who happens to be his daughter." Ben's eyes sparkled. 

"No way! No way! He and Padme had a baby?!"

"They have 5!"

"Get out." She knocked him over. "That's incredible. Well that makes my news about your idiot friends seem unimportant." 

"What's going on?"

"The Knights of Ren attacked Yavin 4."

Rey explained the Knights blowing up the transport full of teenagers and subsequent attack.

Ben nodded. "That - that sounds like something they'd do."

"Poe wants your help."

Ben shook his head. "No thank you."

"What do you mean no?!"

"They're my-"

Rey's eyes narrowed. "Don't try to tell me the Knights of Ren are your friends. You told me how much they hated you."

Ben flashed to the Knights calling him Princess Skywalker and calling him Snoke's bitch. He searched his mind, trying to think of any reason to hang onto any sense of loyalty to his knights. He thought of them taunting victims, laughing at ones who begged or cried. Then he glanced at Rey, the disappointment in her eyes almost crushed him. "OK, the Knights of Ren needed to be exterminated. I'll do it. I'll work with Poe."

"You wouldn't exactly be working with Poe."

Ben's nostrils flared. "I'm not working with Finn."

Rey tried to arrange her face into a pleasant smile. "You remember Rose, don't you?"

"The bitchy one?" He shrugged. "I guess I deserve her."

→

Ben and Rey scurried around the base trying to tidy up before Obi-Wan arrived. Ben swept her into his arms, cradling her face in his hands as he kissed her. 

"Quit it! My hair already looks lopsided. Oh my god, I'm going to meet Obi-Wan Kenobi. I'm sure he must think I'm trash. He knows I'm a Palpatine. I hope he doesn't kill me. I mean, I would totally be honored if he did." Rey rambled, nervously. "Don't - don't stop him if he decides to kill me. I'm OK with it. What color is his lightsaber?"

"Rey, what's wrong with you?"

She flushed. "He’s a hero and such an incredibly inspiring figure.”

Ben tilted his head, studying her. “Do you have a crush on Obi-Wan Kenobi?”

Rey looked up at him like a child caught stealing cookies. “I -I made an Obi-Wan Kenobi doll when I was little. I used to play lightsaber battles and make him kill bad guys."

"My gods, you’re cute. Can I tell him that?"

Rey's knees buckled as Obi-Wan's image appeared before them. She clung to Ben's arm. "It’s really him. Why isn’t he old? My gods, his eyes are so pretty. I didn’t know his hair was so red." She whispered.

"Focus on our connection, Ben. It will be easier to see me.” Obi-Wan instructed.

"Will you help us Rey? Push energy into the part of your force that can reach out, like you do with Ben."

Rey nodded mutely and together, they sharpened the connection smoothly. Obi-Wan took on a fully formed appearance. Rey noticed she could hear his boots crunch on the gravel. 

"It will get easier in time, my young friends."

Ben was struck by the oddness of being called _young_ by a man who looked the same age as Rey. 

Obi-Wan looked around, impatiently. "My daughter is coming in from gods only who knows where."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were a bunch of pieces that needed to fit together in their chapter. It's a little bit all over the place.


	23. Named After the Bird

A moment later, a slight young woman appeared. She looked exactly like Padme, apart from her sunny blond, shoulder length hair. Her tight black trousers and trim leather jacket looked more First Order than Jedi. She strode purposefully toward them, greeting them with a slight bow of her head. "I’m Swans Kenobi ." 

**"S** eeker of **W** ayward **A** nd **N** ascent **S** ouls." Obi-Wan said, grinning proudly at his daughter.

Her warm brown eyes sparkled. "My Father made that up. They totally named me after the bird." Her gaze came to rest on Ben’s face. I am your half-aunt. I believe that would be the best way to describe it." 

Ben was speechless.

"She is half-sister to Luke and Leia." Obi-Wan pointed out, helpfully.

"Whoa." Ben whispered.

Obi-Wan shrugged happily. "I told you I gladly gave up the title of Jedi."

"My sisters and I were born on the other side, in the Netherworld of the Force." Swans explained.

"But how?"

"We wanted to have children." Obi-Wan said simply. "The force yields many wonders." 

→

Obi-Wan left them to get acquainted. Swans walked around the training grounds with Ben and Rey. "We must make plans to travel together to find force sensitives." 

"To a base?" Rey struggled to keep up with their long legs.

"That is not necessary. Perhaps not even preferable."

Ben and Rey glanced at each other, noting how closely Swan’s clipped Coruscant accent resembled Obi-Wan’s.

"Where do you think we should go?" Rey asked. 

"I believe training in the Force will provide an opportunity for stability best appreciated by those who are lacking structure and opportunities." Swans spoke formally.

"Um, like a place without a base then?" Rey felt idiotic.

"The more wretched the better." Swans said with a small smile. "My father despised Tatooine. We could begin there." 

"What age children do you think we should be looking for?"

She shrugged. "I can’t say that age matters as much as temperament. My Father objects to the notion of taking young children away from their families."

"I didn’t start until I was ten." Ben pointed out.

"And look how _well_ you turned out!" She said with a giggle then clamped a hand over her mouth. "Please excuse me for laughing." Swans latched tightly onto Ben’s arm as they walked, reminding him of Padme. He was startled at first but he quickly adjusted to the affectionate gesture. "My youngest sister started training at three but that was at her insistence. She’s a fright."

"You have four sisters?" Rey inquired.

Swans opened a holo locket, projecting pictures of three beautiful women and a small child. She pointed to each image in turn. "Starlings, my twin, Sola and Jinn. Shadda is the baby.”

“How old is she?” Ben’s hand passed through the hologram.

”Shadda will be 6 soon. We are Consulars. Sola works as an ambassador on Naboo. And Starlings works with my Mother as an archivist. Jinn is a healer."

Ben stared in wide wonder at the family he had never dreamed existed.

She pointed to the holo-image woman with strawberry blond hair, worn in braids crowning a lovely face. "Jinn goes between worlds daily as I do, she is a gifted healer. She trained with Master Ki-Adi-Mundi and was padawan to Master Barriss Offee."

"I thought Barriss Offee was disgraced?" Ben couldn't help the gossipy tone of his voice.

"Yes but Barris was still a fine teacher for Jinn. Sola only goes on diplomatic trips. And Starlings has never left the plane of the Nether World."

"She chooses not to?"

"She -“ she pointed to the picture of a woman who looked like her but with hair drawn back severely. “I don’t know if you have a word for it. On Naboo, many consider themselves asexual. Do you know the term?"

"Yes." 

"Starlings is fulfilled by her research. She does not want for more."

" _Starlings_ is your twin?"

"Yes, bird names." She sighed. "My parents were so pleased to have children, so surprised, I believe they ran out of names after Sola was born." 

->

Rey, tilted her head slightly as Swans walked ahead of her clutching onto Ben’s arm. "Swans, you are in love, are you not?"

Swans was startled, turning on her heel to face Rey, pointing her finger close to her face. " _How_ did you know that?!"

"It is written clearly on your force signature. Bright as day."

Swans’ eyes widened. "Please do not tell my father! He would be very troubled if he knew."

"That’s why you are here." Rey couldn’t stop herself, words flowing. "You - you trained be a force seeker to find someone else besides -"

"Please, I implore you. Do not say his name." She pleaded.

"You are hoping that you’ll find someone else to love because you feel hopeless.”

Swans shook her head sadly. "He does not love me. He lives purely to serve the Force. He does not indulge in romantic feelings. It is an impossible situation and I must find a way to forget my feelings for him. In time, I will find someone else to love and care for."

“Why is it so hopeless?” Rey asked softly.

”Because I am so in love with him and he would never want a relationship beyond physical companionship. It’s doomed.”

"Does he know how you feel?" 

"Oh my gods, of course not!" Swans looked petrified. "I would die a thousand deaths before telling him."

Rey smiled kindly. "Swans, what can it hurt to tell -"

"Do not say his name. Do not say his name."

Ben squeezed Swans' arm. "It can’t hurt to let him know how you feel."

She studied Ben and Rey with a warm smile. "I am glad that you both are so much in love with each other that you cannot fathom indifference."

Ben made a sound halfway between a laugh and a cough. "Ignoring Rey would be as pointless as ignoring the sun. Perhaps Qui-Gon is more aware of you than you think."

"My Gods! I told you not to say his name!!" Swans looked around, alarmed. "You know my father can hear _everything_ everyone says?"

Rey laughed. "I don't think that's true."

Swans spun to face her, confused. "That’s what he always told my sisters and I growing up." 

Ben and Rey laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had read Keep Breathing by Yesac where Padme and Obi-Wan raise a family. I was instantly smitten with the idea of Obi-Wan as a father. I liked the idea of him having a slew of daughters and what it would mean for them to be born in the Netherworld. I added the youngest child because I liked the idea that they would have four even tempered, Padme-like daughters and one wild impulsive one.
> 
> I'm not sure where I came up with the idea for the bird names. Probably at the bottom of a White Claw.


	24. Dazzled

Obi-Wan had returned to find Ben, Rey and Swans sitting at an outside picnic table. He sighed happily as he watched them from a distance, thinking of how delighted Padme would be to hear that Ben and Swans were getting along.

"Are there other children like you?" Rey asked, hoping not to offend Swans.

"Netherworld children? There are a few. Most Jedi prefer to continue on with their celibate lifestyles after death." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "That’s why I don’t think he would ever, ever look at me. Plus he’s twice my age."

Ben stacked small rocks into a pile. "Does it matter in the Netherworld? You could be dead for 23 years or 3 centuries, right?"

"I’m not dead!" Swans snapped.

Ben sat up straighter. "I’m sorry."

"But yes, age is relative so it's more a matter of maturity." Swans glanced around, feeling her father's presence but not yet seeing him. "But my father would never approve."

"Your father had five ghost children. He brought Ben back from death." Rey argued. "I can’t imagine he sees in black and white."

Swan's eyebrows knitted together, creasing her pretty face. "My father is a man of great principal."

"I didn’t mean it like that. He and Qui-Gon are so much more open minded than other Jedi I’ve met."

"Like Master Luke?" Swans teased.

"Master Luke is not easy to know." Ben flushed with embarrassment, realizing they were speaking poorly of Swans’ half brother.

Rey stepped in diplomatically. "Your father has helped Ben in ways Luke never could. Ben is so very grateful to him."

"It’s true, Luke does not excel as a teacher. My father and Qui Gon are better suited in that regard."

→ →

Swans' posture stiffened when she heard her father approach.

Ben smiled at Obi-Wan. "Tell me about your daughter Jinn, the healer."

"I must confess she was the one who resurrected you." Obi-Wan confided.

Swans’ voice was sharp. "It went against her Master's wishes, against her training but my mother and Leia begged her."

Obi Wan agreed. "You are the only grandson. Padme loves you dearly. Jinn felt compelled to fulfill her mother's wishes."

Swans frowned.

Ben couldn't tell if Swans felt like Padme's affection was misplaced.

→ →

After Obi-Wan and Swans departed, Rey ran to check her hair in the mirror of the fresher. She smiled at her own dazzled reflection. She had met Obi-Wan Kenobi! Her childhood hero.

"Bloody hell." She whispered to her own reflection.

When she returned to the open courtyard, she found Ben stretched out on the ground, staring up at the sky. She stood over him, studying his far away expression.

"Are you going to be OK?"

"It's a lot to take in. I'm overwhelmed. My Grandmother had babies with Obi-Wan Kenobi in the Netherworld?"

Rey let out a snort of laughter. "Luke Skywalker has five half-sisters? I can't imagine him hanging out with Swans."

Ben smiled. "I like her. She's so normal for a - a whatever she is. A spirit?"

"I wonder what the others are like?" Rey couldn't help but grin at Ben's dazed expression.

"I'm jealous. I always wanted a family."

Without warning, he yanked her down to him. His thick arms held her captive as his lips crushed hers. Rey let out a sigh as his fingers cradled her face. **We're family now.** He whispered through their connection. He started to roll her onto her back, his hands reaching for her breasts, when she pinned his shoulders down.

"Hold on there. We need to be presentable when we go to Yavin 4."

"That's today?" He spluttered, sitting upright. "I'm not ready for that." 

"What do you need, a formal invitation?"

"Maybe."


	25. Just Wow

Rey straightened Ben's messy black hair. Being on the Yavin 4 base made Ben so uncomfortable that he was starting to shrink back from her.

“Be careful or you’ll go back to being invisible again.”

”I would prefer it.” Ben’s voice was gruff.

She marveled how much of his past behavior made sense from a distance. Now that she could read his expressions, she could see the wounded look in his eyes. He felt trapped and wanted to escape. 

As they rode the elevator to meet Rose, Rey flashed to the moment they had shared in the elevator aboard The Supremacy. She had felt like she was drowning in that moment, gasping for air. Rey remembered the racing terror she had felt as he'd led her to face Snoke. How strange it was to realize she had loved him even then. Her love had been simpler, more of a childish prayer against the storms raging around her. 

When she had implored him to turn against Snoke, Ben had told her that he had seen the identity of her parents. It had cut through her like a knife, even without the weight of the truth behind it. That pain would give her strength today.

Ben hit the Stop button on the elevator. 

Rey's eyes flew open. "What are you doing?"

"We need to talk." Ben took her by the wrists, securing her the same way as the handcuffs had on the Supremacy. He pressed her into the corner.

"We _cannot_ have sex here. They have cameras in these elevators." She warned. "And microphones."

He switched to their connection. **You're in pain.**

**I'm fine.**

**I can hear what you're thinking about.** He released her wrists and took her hands. **And I know where you're planning to go while I'm with Rose.**

She shifted her eyes away from him, considering how best to answer since lying wasn't an option. **It's important to know the truth about my family.**

His large hand lifted her chin so she had to look him in the eyes. **Rey, do not go to the Necromancers. I don't want you near them. Their decay, their evil is contagious.**

She lifted her chin in defiance. **I'm strong enough to handle it.**

**Find another way or, so help me gods, I will destroy this elevator. You know I'll do it. I haven't damaged any electronics in awhile. I can almost taste it.**

Rey frowned at him. She could see him starting to bend the handrails. Fine. **FINE! I'll find another way.**

Their force connection crackled with tension, waves of energy roiled in the air. He wrapped his strong arms around her.. He nuzzled her neck and poured soft buzzing love into their connection. **After this, we will go home together. We will sleep in our bed. We will be together.**

**→**

Rey found Intelligence Officer Beaumont Kin in a sprawling office. He was surrounded by monitors and ancient maps. The historian looked up at Rey with a bemused smile. "I was wondering when you'd come."

Rey narrowed her eyes studying the man who seemed too young to be a professor. "What do you know about me?"

Beaumont offered Rey a seat. "Not as much as I'd like." 

She raised an eyebrow as he grabbed a disorganized folder of paperwork.

**→**

Rose Tico and Ben stood on opposite sides of a holo screen.

Rose clicked a pen over and over, not looking at Ben. "You killed my sister."

He stared at her, feeling helpless. "I’m sorry."

The clicking pen paused. "I don’t think you personally killed her but I am not going to forgive you." 

Ben nodded. "I’m not going to ask you to forgive me or be nice to me. I don’t deserve any kindness and you’re entitled to hang onto your anger." 

Rose turned her back on him, seething with rage. She had been hoping to bait him into an argument. She flattened her palms on the table. "OK then, I’m going to compartmentalize this, let it rot out part of my soul so we can get to work on this fucking bullshit."

Ben tried to stifle a smile.

"Nothing is funny today."

He nodded. "OK, Rose."

She opened a holo file and projects the images of 2 members of the Knights of Ren. "They’re wearing masks so we’re not sure which ones they are." She pointed to a grouping of photos. "We have files on 7 of them. "There were just 7 of them, right? Please say there are only 7."

Ben surveyed the group. He tapped on 5 of them. "I killed these guys on Exegol. But these 2, Ap'Lek and Kuruk are the most secretive and independent. They're force sensitive and dangerous. It doesn’t surprise me that they’re the ones who survived. They’re strong but not especially well trained and have had rough lives." 

"What- what do you mean" Rose asked hesitantly.

Ben looked Rose in the eye, keeping his voice neutral. "Your hatred towards me is a good thing. I’m guessing you have a kind heart. I don’t want to tell you anything about me or any of these guys that’s going to make you sympathetic because you need to see The Knights of Ren as your enemy. Every one of these guys has a story, they have parents and childhoods."

"I’m not an idiot."

"I don’t think you’re an idiot, Rose. But I’m not going to tell you anything that will make you hesitate to cut their fucking heads off, OK?"

She nodded. "Copy that."

"They’re force sensitive, they have a range of abilities from deflecting blasters to knocking you unconscious with a single touch. You can’t fight them like a normal trooper."

For the next hour, Ben went over details of the Knight’s strengths and weaknesses. He explained their fighting formations, weapons and combat style. 

As Rose paused to type up her notes, Lieutenant Kaydel Ko Connix stormed in the room with a blaster pointed at Ben. "I can’t believe you’re talking to him!" She put the blaster up to Ben's temple.

"Hey!" Rose put her hand on the blaster, lowering it. "We're trying to work here!".

The Lieutenant holstered her weapon reluctantly. "I don’t care if you’re a ghost or whatever. You should be burning in hell right now." She hauled back her arm, slapping his face hard.

Ben didn’t flinch, only gripping the table in front of him. He didn’t raise his eyes to the Lieutenant.

"I want him out of here the second you’re done with him!" Kaydel Ko hissed. 

Rose squared off her shoulders. "I've got this under control, Connix." Fuming, the Lieutenant stomped out.

Rose regarded Ben closely. "You seem like you’re used to being hit."

He didn’t move a muscle. "It is a skill."

"Is that Jedi training or Sith?"

"A little of both. It’s survival."

She handed him a tissue as a trickle of blood ran out of his nose. "I need an ice pack just looking at you."

Ben allowed himself to smile. 

She turned away from him, stacking up papers. "Finn is in love with Rey, you know that right?"

"And you’re in love with Finn, aren’t you?" Ben asked quietly.

Rose tapped the pen again. "That’s the least important part of the equation."

"It shouldn’t be." 

Rose turned back to Ben, her face frozen. "I’m not the - I’m not going to be anyone’s first choice."

Ben caught her eye. "Rose Tico, when you get a sense of who you really are, there are going to be a lot of guys who are going to want to get in your pants."

"Wow. Just wow. Of all the things I’ve heard about you, I’ve never heard you had such a way with words."

He paused for long enough to make her uncomfortable. "I’m a poet."

"And you don’t even know it." Rose whispered and started to laugh.

→ →

Rey met Ben in Poe's empty office. She surveyed Ben’s bloody nose. "Rose did that to you?!"

"No it was Lieutenant Kaydel Ko something or other. Rose says she’s being a bitch because Poe hooked up with some ambassador."

"Yeah, Kaydel Ko is a drama queen." Rey filled in. "She told half the base that Poe went down on her at one of the victory parties." 

"Wow. Just wow." Ben deadpanned.

Rey giggled. "You and Rose are chummy now?"

"We're somewhere between everlasting hatred and friends."

Ben watched in irritation as soldiers passed by the door, glancing in at them. He cracked his neck to let off tension. "Tell me what you found out today."

Rey shook her head. "I'll tell you on the way home." She focused herself, blocking off the section of her mind that was gnawing away at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another chapter with lots of small parts / locations / characters. 
> 
> Just love the Rose / Ben dynamic. I could seriously do nothing but write the two of them.


	26. History Lesson

Beaumont Kin was exhausting to be around. He exhausted Rey almost as much as he seemed to exhaust himself.

→

The kind hearted professor had looked like he wanted to crawl out of his own skin when Rey sat down across from him.

“Were your ears burning? I was just thinking of you? I mean I wasn’t thinking about you - I don’t think. I mean, obviously I think but I don’t think about you. Not like that. Oh gods, I’m afraid I’m not making sense.”

“Would you like to start over again?” Rey offered.

“Yes please. Hello Rey. Nice to see you again. It’s been awhile. Well, I guess it’s only been a matter of a few days but I feel like everything’s changed. I mean, you haven’t changed. Well I guess you have - knowing what you know.” Beaumont froze. “Oh no, I wasn’t supposed to let on that I know.”

Rey was speechless. _Damnit Finn._

“But I guess as a Jedi, you can read minds but if you could do that, I imagine you wouldn’t need to come talk to me.“

“Professor Kin, it’s alright you know I’m a Palpatine. I suppose Finn told you.” Rey felt herself pale at Beaumont’s guilty expression. “Finn told everyone?”

“Well, not everyone. Just the generals and a few of us who happened to be in the meeting.” The professor tried to sound positive.

Rey sighed in defeat. “I guess that doesn’t matter. I’m hoping you might be able to help me find out who my parents were. Or my Grandmother.” Tears rolled down Rey’s cheeks. She fought the urge to reach out to Ben to escape the ache of discomfort. 

Beaumont’s eyes grew wide with surprise. He’d hardly spoken to Rey before today. She had always struck him as fierce and confident, a bit frightening. But now she was weeping. In his office - near irreplaceable, fragile documents.

“Would you like a cup of tea? I was just about to pour some.” Without asking, he set a a cup before her, snatching away several ancient maps.

Rey wanted to shatter the entire pale blue tea set, tear his calligraphy wall panels to shreds. He knew something and didn’t want to tell her. Her hands shook as she tried to sip from the ornate cup.

The professor checked in with Rey’s flushed expression before opening the tattered folder on the table. “I - I don’t have a surname for your grandmother.” He passed a handwritten page to her.

Rey recoiled at the sight of the Emperor’s handwriting.

“Sheev Palpatine kept meticulous records of his household, albeit in his own coded shorthand. Every aspect of his various household expenses was detailed - who knows why? Since I found out about you and your uh- your connection to him, I’ve been combing through his records. I found this.” He pointed to a clump of letters. “He had a cook named Laran who was with him for a period of thirty four years, with the exception of five years when she was on his payroll but did not appear on the weekly schedule. I estimate she was a Naboo native and she moved at some point to join his household on Coruscant.”

“He slept with his cook?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time in history.” Beaumont’s eyes softened. “Here, look at Laran’s ID when she moved to Coruscant.”

He handed her a scanned ID badge showing photo of a young woman with lost eyes. She bore an unmistakable resemblance to Rey.

“Five years after Laran’s absence from the household, she returned to her post at eight times her original salary with greatly reduced hours. Also, Palpatine began making regular payments to a nearby school. Not a particularly grand school but it would be a place an illegitimate child might be sent. Twelve years later those payments end.”

“Was it my mother or father?” Rey twisted at her sleeve.

“I’m not sure but I’m guessing it was your mother. That’s just a total guess based on what I know of his personality. Based on his speeches and writings, I feel he held a condescending attitude toward women.”

“Laran’s name completely disappeared from the payroll around the same time you were left on Tatooine. It corresponds to a burial record I found for Laran Clipse which is definitely not a real name. She was buried next to two unnamed persons, I believe these are your parents.”

Rey stared down at the picture of Laran. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to scream or cry.

“I believe Sheev took male apprentices because he didn’t see women as having as much value. If he’d had a son, it’s my guess that he would have kept him close. He sought out Anakin, Luke and Ben for a clear reason.”

Rey’s heart stopped. “Wait - what?! He- he wasn’t Anakin’s father was he?”

“No.” Beaumont chuckled.

“I fail to see how that’s funny. That’s not funny.” 

“Oh - oh I’m sorry. It’s not funny but it is. Let me explain. From the time he was in his what - mid forties onward, Sheev Palpatine paid out for a total of 107 paternity tests. He tested women on a myriad of planets. I did check, he tested someone on Tatooine that roughly corresponds with Anakin’s conception. Years later, when Anakin showed up at the temple HE retested Anakin.”

“And?”

”He only paid for the tuition for one child. Laran’s child.”

“What does that -“

“Palpatine never paid one credit toward Anakin’s training. He allowed Anakin and his mother to live in slavery.”

Rey let herself exhale.

“This is a theory, just my personal take on things.” Beaumont gathered his thoughts. “I think at some point, Palpatine decided he wanted an heir. He probably wanted a male heir because that’s the way he thought. He used his powers to sleep with women, lots of women. Maybe he tried to alter their midichlorians, maybe he tried artificial insemination, I don’t know. As he aged, I think he became more desperate. Laran was the only one who actually bore his child. Going from the dates, he kept on trying without success. If there had been other offspring, he would have either brought them into his household, which I see no evidence of, or he would have paid out expenses for them. No evidence of that either.”

Rey let out her breath. She stared at the mountain of papers. “I’m the only one?” 

Beaumont regarded her curiously. “How do you feel about that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Here’s an interesting side note. There must have been a lot of women he kind of messed around with on a midichlorian level, like I suspect Anakin’s mother was. 107 paternity tests. Anakin turned out to be extremely powerful but what about the others? They may not have shared his DNA like you but it’s likely that there are generations of force users out there.”

“Can you find them?”

“He didn’t list the names, just the hospitals.”

Beaumont looked at Rey’s despondent expression. He grabbed a bottle of Jawa Juice from his desk drawer and poured it into both of their teacups. He lifted his glass to her. “History is never the truth. History is always someone’s story.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really struggled with this - do you think I should ax this chapter? I wanted Rey to have questions about being a Palpatine but maybe it's too much.


	27. Jinn

Jinn Kenobi had chosen the Black Spire Outpost on Batuu as her headquarters. She had the blessing of the intimidating crime lord Oga Garra to practice healing at the small but well funded medical center.

The walls of the Black Spire Outpost Medical Crisis Center lobby were papered with pictures of the missing of the war. There were always small candles and flowers on the floor. _Where did the flowers go when they wilted? Who blew out the candles at the end of the day?_ An elderly Blutopian medical officer named Unogra arrived every day around the same time at Jinn and the other medics. He did the intake interviews, opening a file on every being that crossed the threshold of the health center, whether alive or dead. The living were assessed and moved into the large makeshift hospital, the dead were photographed and entered into the victim’s database. Ferean, a distinguished Blutopian with graying tentacles worked with Unogra, collecting the names of the victims and reaching out to their families. 

  
Families from all over the Outer Rim territories arrived daily seeking news on their loved ones. Ferean moved slowly, checking in with the new arrivals, politely asking each family the same question, “How are you today?”

Some were worried about hospital bills. He would reassure them that there would be no charge. Local crime boss, Oga Garra, personally financed the hospital and she wanted everyone to know it. 

Ferean would kindly inquire if the family needed a translation droid or if they had eaten breakfast that day. He would corral someone to get food over to them.

Jinn worked on the most severe cases. She enjoyed the exhausting work, it drained her completely to knit bones together and heal deep wounds. She enjoyed removing shrapnel the most and dreaded poison cases.

⇆

Jinn's heart warmed as she entered crisis room 4. She had been allowed to chose the paint color of her healing room. The cheerful shade of blue paint had nicely covered up most of the bloodstains. The color was vibrant and always brought a smile to her face.  


The soldier was not sedated when he arrived, his leg wrapped in bacta patches and tape. The triage nurses graded patients between 1 and 5. 1 was for a broken bone or infection. 5 was mortally injured. He had 5+ written in red on his chart. He had been struck in the back repeatedly by a large spiked weapon. His leg was shredded, there were large wounds on his feet, his arms were badly burned and he had a punctured lung. She stared open-mouthed as Unogra helped Jinn unwrap the young soldier. She scanned his chart as the elderly nurse deftly cut his shirt off. His pants had already been slit to the waist.

"My Gods." Jinn gasped.

"Save the leg if you can." Unogra handed the chart to her. "If not, please notify us and we’ll get surgical in here to amputate."

The soldier’s eyes flew open at the word amputate. 

"Please don’t let me die. My family needs me." He whispered. 

Jinn sank into the chair beside him and took his hand. An initial jolt of Force energy startled her and then began to warm her blood. He was Force sensitive, that much was clear. His energy bounced and ebbed in a strange way she’d never experienced before. Without meaning to, she glimpsed at the edges of his memories: he was a child, walking barefoot in the garden after a summer rain, an elegant older woman measuring his arms for a jacket, the awkward feeling of trying a resistance helmet on for the first time, laughing hysterically watching fellow soldiers cry while they got tattoos. A final clear memory of terror in his dark eyes as he threw himself in front of one of the Knights of Ren to save his crewmates. It was a life with many pieces.

As Jinn came out of his memories, his eyes were desperately locked onto her. He was choking on his own blood.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She went into a deep meditative state, her hands running over his throat. 

Jinn had been initially trained by her father and Master Ki-Adi-Mundi before graduating to become Barriss Offee’s padawan. Time and time again, her experienced Jedi Master had taught her that death was not the enemy. Only pain. Barriss never sought to resurrect and had forbidden Jinn from doing so. 

She cringed thinking about her final conversation with her Master. Barris had dismissed her Padawan harshly with a series of smoldering expletives. No apology would repair their relationship.

Experience in combat hospitals told her, this soldier was going to die. She would make him comfortable and help his soul to move forward. 

"I don’t want to die." He repeated, his voice was hoarse, gurgling with blood.

"You are strong with the Force. You will become one with the Force." She whispered as she worked to heal his punctured lung. Her hands moved slowly over his chest, she gently slid a hand under his back to connect her energy. Her fingers grazed the raw flesh on his back, wet with blood. Jinn expected him to cry out or pass out from the pain but his eyes held hers. Pale light shone from her shaking fingers. Working on a Force-sensitive person was throwing her. It didn’t help that he was handsome with a long perfect face, carmel skin and dark soulful eyes.

Jinn had worked as a healer for six years. It was easiest for her to work in war zones, where people asked few questions. She had no credentials or valid identification. Her ability to stay on this side of the living wasn’t as developed as her sister Swans’, who could stay out for days on end. Jinn fizzled out after about 6 hours and had to return back to the Netherworld of the Force. The Black Spire Outpost was less organized than anywhere else she’d been. When she had started showing up everyday, no one had asked for an ID nor had ever offered her any compensation for her time. She didn’t know many of her co-worker’s names and they didn’t seem at all concerned that she simply vanished at the end of each shift.

“Can you join your Force to mine?” She could tell by his expression that he didn’t understand what she was talking about. “OK, Concentrate your energy on the pain.“ She remembered her father’s words when he had first taught her how to heal. “Breath with me. When you inhale, think of somewhere that brings you peace and balance. When you exhale, slowly pour that balanced energy into your pain. You’re bringing peace in and applying it to your pain. We are going to start with the pain in your lung. Ready? Three, Two, One…”

She was shocked at how his force magnified her. She stared at the light beneath her fingers. Usually, it glowed dully but working together, the light was a brilliant blue with bits of light crackling out to the side. 

“My gods. We’re - we’re Force melding.” She whispered. Barriss Offee had never permitted her to heal in tandem but she’d read about it in books.

They worked through his punctured lung quickly and moved to his leg. She felt awkward asking him to put his large calloused hands on hers as she worked. She tried not to look but images, memories of his life floaded in with his touch: the white sand of a beach, swimming in a clear blue ocean, his back aching as he sat in a history class, chasing down a toddler who seemed to be forever running away with his toy planes, disbelief when he was told of his Uncle’s death at the Battle of Crait, his first taste of alcohol, the first kiss in a breezeway between house parties. 

He tried to read her memories as well. “Get out of my head.” She whispered playfully as the flesh of his leg wove back together. “There’s nothing good in there. I am the most boring person you’ll ever meet.” She felt him reaching out again, he was untrained but powerful. He swiped at the edges of her mind: images of meditating with her father, falling asleep as her mother read silently beside her, whispering with her sister Swans about her unrequited love for Qui-Gon Jinn, the evening fireworks, her radiating joy when she first came out of the Netherworld and experienced the cluttered Outerworld for the first time. The delight of real birds, the smell of engine grease, the taste of slightly burnt sugar cakes. 

He seemed to be looking at her from far away. His focus was slipping. “Stay with me! Please.” She urged. Jinn felt more protective of him than she should. “Here, I’ll let you see something good.” She showed him her first kiss with a pilot named Poe. They had kissed for hours in the cockpit of his X wing. Their breath fogging the window until they were interrupted by his squadron. She shared her second and most recent kiss with a ground trooper slowing dying of a fatal abdominal wound.

“Did that wake you up?” She whispered. 

He reached up and touched her face, his blood stained fingers grazing her lips. Jinn pulled his hand back to the wound on his leg.

“Sorry buddy, no kiss for you. You’re not that close to death.” She scolded as she worked. “Actually you are mending well. Your leg is done.”

“You saved it?” His soft voice did something strange to her. A line of warmth seeped through her.

“Yes, We’re going to move onto these wounds on your back.” She helped him turn onto his side. He huffed in pain with the effort. Without meaning to, she smoothed the hair out of his eyes. 

“Would you -“ His voice was strained from pain. “Would you kiss me if I wasn’t dying?”

She tilted her head and scrunched up her lips in mock concentration. “Yes, I do believe I would. You are quite handsome. I’ve never had experience with a Force-sensitive man. It seems like it could be quite educational.”

He laughed in surprise.

She tried to keep her face neutral as she surveyed the horrible wounds on his back. “Who did this to you?

”Knights of Ren.” He gasped out in pain as she probed the wounds. 

“I’m sorry this is going to be painful but when you work with me, it amplifies the healing. You’re very strong with the force. You would make a fine Jedi.”

His face registered shock. “I’m a no one. I’m just a gunner.”

“And Rey was just a scavenger.” Jinn countered.

“Did she survive? I - I heard she disappeared.”

“My sister met her recently.” Jinn couldn’t resist gossiping. "She is starting a center for training in the Force. When you’re well, I’ll tell you more about it.” 

“I’d prefer the kiss.” He coughed and shrank back from the sight of blood.

“It’s OK, it’s OK. Your lungs are clearing out.” She whispered. Jinn placed her hand on his muscular chest. She took his hand, lacing their fingers together.

She couldn’t resist touching him. Her fingers ran through the spiky, bear fur-like black hair that stuck out at odd angles, she stroked the sides of his thin face, tracing his high cheekbones and full lips. It was almost physically painful to stop caressing him. “I know you’re tired but if you can work with me on these wounds, I’ll let you rest soon.”

He breathed with her, his energy meshing with hers, pulling and binding his flesh back together. Jinn's cheeks flushed at how intimate Force Melding was, like a long embrace. She felt like he was part of her. He stared into her eyes with such openness and wonder that stunned her. When he was stabilized, she glanced up at the clock. She had been working on him for six hours. 

She leaned over and kissed his damp forehead.

“Oh no, you kissed me. Does that mean I’m going to die?”

“That was nothing. You’ll know it when I kiss you for real.” She tried to feign confidence. “I need to leave for the day.”

”Is your boyfriend, the pilot, waiting for you?” Suddenly, her soldier sounded like an insecure boy.

“That pilot you saw me kiss - that was a long time ago.” She blushed. “My parents are the only ones expecting me tonight."

"That's good." 

Jinn flushed at his directness. "I um - I can only heal for about 6 hours before my ability fades.”

“I didn’t know Healers existed. I thought that sort of stuff was just in books.”

“It is just in books. I don’t exist.” She tapped at her lips. She could still feel the warmth of his skin. “I will check in on you tomorrow morning. You need rest. A nurse will be in shortly to give you something to help you sleep.”

“Don’t go. I don’t even know your name.” He was lying on his side. 

”It’s Jinn. J-I-N-N. And you’re right I shouldn’t leave you like this.” She sandwiched pillows behind his back and in front of his stomach. He reached out to her. She thought he was taking her hand but he grabbed her hip. His thumb dug into her hip bone, his hands met soft flesh. Somehow it was the most intimate thing she’d ever felt.

“If you had not recently been gravely injured, I would prop that door closed and kiss you all night.”

“I feel the same way, Jinn.” 

“We can discuss this further in the morning. Maybe we can even find a room with a real lock on the door.” Her cheeks reddened. She’d never spoken like this to a patient before.


	28. The dreams of Qui-Gon

Swans knocked on the door of Qui-Gon’s suite. Her heart was pounding so loudly, she felt like she was going to pass out. 

Qui-Gon opened the door wearing a plain grey evening robe. Swans inhaled loudly seeing the open expanse of his chest. His long hair hung loosely around his shoulders. 

“Hello Swans.”

She felt overdressed in her black leather jacket and slim-fitting pants. A wave of panic shot through her. She should have changed. “May I come in?”

”Yes of course. The hour is late for a visit.”

He said it as though it was perfectly normal for her to visit his personal quarters by herself. She glanced around at his tidy space, trying to discreetly wipe off the lipstick she had applied moments before.

“Tea?” He offered politely.

She nodded even though she didn’t want any. She couldn’t breathe, let alone swallow. It was possible that she was going to throw up. Qui Gon smiled kindly and set to work heating water.

“To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?” He said gesturing for her to sit down in his meditation room

”I - I was um -“ She was so flustered, she couldn’t think of a single thing to say. What had possessed her to listen to Ben? Ben was an idiot with a long history of making terrible decisions.

“I have heard many great things about your work as a Force Seeker.” Qui-Gon said kindly.

She nodded. “I’m gratified with the work. I am pleased to have a purpose.”

“You sound exactly like your Mother when she was a senator.”

Swans blushed. “Thank you.”

”It’s a beautiful sunset, is it not?” Qui-Gon gestured at the window that took up most of the wall of the spacious meditation room. “Have you ever wondered if everyone sees the same colors in a sunset or if our memories of sunsets on the other side alters our perception?”

“I have been raised with these sunsets. They far outweigh my experiences with sunsets in the other world.”

”Fascinating. I had not thought of that.” He grinned like a boy. 

He moved closer to her. “Tell me what color do you see here?” He pointed to a slash of brilliant pink. 

“It is the color of my mother’s favorite vase.”

“I know the one you mean. And this?” He pointed to the faded sky.

Swans tilted her head, thinking. “The glow of my father’s lightsaber.”

Qui-Gon studied her face closely. “Perhaps we do see the same sky.”

“Have you ever been in love?” she blurted out.

“I have” he replied quietly, his eyes still on the sunset. “A very long time ago, I fell in love with another Jedi. Her name was Tahl. She worked in the archives in the Temple.” He sighed heavily. “Her death nearly drove me to the dark side.”

“I’m sorry.” She scanned her memory for the name and came up blank. “Is she here in the Netherworld of the Force?”

“No she chose to become one with the Force. When I died, I hoped she would be waiting here for me in the Netherworld of the Force but that was not to be.”

“Oh.” Swans didn’t know what to say. The knowledge that he longed for another knocked the wind out of her.

“Why do you ask about matters of the heart, Swans? Do you find yourself attracted to someone?”

“It’s getting late, I should leave” she managed to croak out.

“No, please stay. The tea is ready.” Qui-Gon handed her a cup. He smiled as he raised the cup to his lips. 

“Swans, are you troubled by some feelings you are having?”

She worried she’d forgotten how to speak. “Yes, I am scared.”

“Having fear is natural. Avoiding a person or an experience because of your fear is only delaying the inevitable. Be not guided by fear lest we-“

“It’s you.” Her voice crackled with irritation. 

Qui-Gon put down his cup. “Excuse me?”

Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I desire you.”

“Swans, this is -“

“I’ve felt this way for so long. I - I left the Netherworld so I could forget you but I cannot. I'm not sure what to do.”

He stood up and walked to the window. The brilliant colors of the sky were settling into a deep purple-blue. Clouds left over from the day still hung in patches. “Your father is my closest friend. He is a brother to me.”

“If I could make these feelings go away, I would.” She cautiously stood and moved closer to him. 

“You should leave Swans.”

”Please tell me how you feel about me. Tell me the truth and I’ll leave. I promise I won’t speak of it again. Please, Qui-Gon?”

“I cannot.” Qui-Gon voice was low and steady.

She frowned. If he wouldn’t tell her, she knew his Force would. She reached out to read his thoughts but he pulled his hand away. Their fingers briefly grazed each other and a vision flashed behind her eyes.

“Oh.” She turned to him, her expression turned to shock. 

“I’m sorry, Swans. I did not want you to see that.”

Swans found herself with her back against the door. She replayed the vision. Her eyes clouded as they met his. 

He waved in his hand in front of her face. “You should go and forget what was said this evening.”

She held up her hand with a withering smile. “Don’t try a Jedi mind wipe on me. You forget who you’re dealing with.”

“It was worth a try.” He said sadly. 

Her hand was on the door.

“Goodnight, Qui-Gon.”

He could only nod.

->

Alone in her bedroom, Swans turned the vision over and over in her mind. It was not unpleasant but it was completely unexpected.

It was not the foolish romantic sentiment she hoped for. There were no flowers or moonlit walks. The vision that had radiated from Qui Gon’s force was an intimate moment. 


	29. A Youth as Pointless as His Own

When Padme greeted Ben at the entrance to the Netherworld, she was dressed in an ornately embroidered peacock blue dress, her long dark hair pulled back in an intricate braid. 

He couldn’t help smiling with her as she greeted him. “You look so different. Is it a special occasion Grandmother?”

“I feel like I can be myself now that you know who I am.”

“Why didn’t you tell me who you were from the beginning?”

Padme held onto his arm, leaning against him sweetly. “Leia said you didn’t know much about me. I didn’t want to add to your stress but I simply couldn’t stay away from you. I never, ever wanted you to feel alone.” 

Padme tried to steer him away from the dueling room but the liquid hum of lightsabers drew him closer. “Obi-Wan is not done with his previous appointment.”

Obi-Wan was battling against tall opponent with wavy brown hair and a fierce scowl. Ben could tell it was an even match, their styles were so similar. Obi-Wan used the taller Jedi’s aggression against him, letting the gravity of his harsh blows fall progressively further down. Ben realized Obi-Wan was allowing the taller Jedi to leave his upper body unprotected. With lightning speed, Obi-Wan switched back to a higher stance, easily knocking his opponent's saber out of his hands. 

Disgusted, the brown haired Jedi threw his hands up in submission. "You win again Master, as usual." 

Ben noticed tension pass over Padme’s lovely features. “Are you alright Grandmother?”

Her voice was brittle. “You are aware of who he is, are you not?”

“Oh gods.” Ben stared in shock. He had imagined meeting Vader since he was a lonely teenager. The draw of the dark lord, with his helmet and armor hiding away traces of human weakness. He had seen pictures of Anakin in his youth but he had mentally filed them away in the back of his mind as irrelevant, evidence of a youth as pointless as his own.

Padme stared straight ahead. Anakin glared at Ben and Padme.

“Do you mind if we leave?” Padme whispered.

Padme and Ben walked beside a shimmering lake. He could see an island in the distance. Padme had not spoken since leaving the dueling room 

“I wouldn’t have thought Obi-Wan and Anakin would spend time together. Didn’t he-”

“Anakin was Padawan to Obi-Wan. They fought for years together in The Clone Wars. Obi-Wan says he learned a great deal from Anakin.” Her voice was tight and controlled. “Unlike me, Obi-Wan is able to see beyond a person’s actions. His quiet nobility has always amazed me.” 

Ben noticed how his Grandmother’s voice grew softer as her tension increased.

“Anakin made many enemies in life. He has few friends in the Netherworld. Only Yoda, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon tolerate him.” 

“Just like me?” Ben’s couldn’t hide his embarrassment.

“No. Many in the Netherworld are curious about you and your abilities.”

“That’s only because of Rey. I know the Jedi Council hates me.”  
  
“Well that’s partly true.” 

Ben’s face fell. “Is this some sort of pathetic program where Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon spend time with the Jedi everyone despises? They should get medals for that.”

Padme noted how Ben’s boyish features had hardened into a frown. She squeezed his arm, lovingly. “Can you please come to dinner? I’d very much like you to meet my family.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We had to run into Anakin at some point.


	30. The House of Kenobi

Obi-Wan greeted him at the door of an enormous one story house. A small blond girl teetered on his shoulders. Without warning, the child launched herself at Ben. Obi-Wan caught her mid-air.

"Did you bring Rey? I want to be her Padawan when I grow up!"

"This is Shadda. She’s a bit of a wild animal."

"I’m five! Come outside, we can battle! You can make your own lightsaber." She pushed rocks into his hands. "They're not real crystals but we can paint them." 

"Shadda, let Ben say hello to your sisters first." 

Two blond women emerged from the sunken living room. "I’m Sola. This is Starlings." They were both petite and looked like blond versions of Padme. 

Obi-Wan, ushered Ben inside. "Jinn should be home soon and you’ve already met Swans." 

"We haven’t a clue if she’ll be home tonight." Padme said with a sigh.

A strawberry blond woman with braids wound around her head like a crown appeared behind him, almost running into Ben. "Oh hello, you’re quite large. You must be Ben. I’m Jinn. Please forgive my appearance." She wore green scrubs, covered in blood. "I’ll wash up before I give a proper greeting."

Ben went outside with Obi-Wan and Shadda to the home’s sprawling backyard. Shadda offered Ben a choice of sticks painted various colors. "Who do you want to be?" She pushed an yellow stick at him before he could choose.

Shadda grabbed a fresh stick from the ground and hunched over, pretending to walk with a cane. "I’m Master Yoda." She croaked. "Strong your force will be when quiet your mouth becomes." She tossed away the stick and started spinning in a circle. "I eat frogs! I eat frogs!" She sang as she danced.

Ben twirled the yellow stick and Shadda stopped spinning. "You’re going to be Rey. Daddy says she’s good."

"Who should I be today?" Obi-Wan grinned at Ben. "I’m usually Rey." 

Shadda took the yellow stick from Ben and handed it to Obi-Wan. "Sorry about that Daddy." She selected a dark green stick for Ben, her face suddenly serious. "You can be Saesee Tinn. He’s left handed so you’ll have the advantage." 

When Obi-Wan went inside to help with Dinner, Jinn and Leia came out to join him. 

"Having fun?" Leia nudged him with her elbow.

Ben smiled shyly.

"Shadda!" Leia called. "Did you show Ben your Shii-Cho?"

Shadda stopped spinning went through a series of forms robotically. "Master Yoda is teaching me Ataru. Do you know Ataru Ben?"

Ben smiled self consciously while moving through the forms with his green stick.

Shadda observed him closely. “You’ve got your shoulders too high, like Daddy. It limits your range of movement.”

Ben relaxed his shoulders. “Thank you for the advice.”

“Mace Windu said I can never be his Padawan because I’m too much like my Daddy." Shadda flung herself into a happy twirl. "Daddy is the best. He defeated Anakin." She whispered. "But we don’t talk about him because he cut off Master Luke’s hand."

Ben tried to suppress a chuckle.

Shadda was suddenly clinging to his legs. "Do you know what happened to Master Luke's hand? Does somebody have it?"

Jinn pried her sister off Ben. "Shadda, you are very lucky to train Master Yoda. He hasn’t trained anyone since Luke."

"He says I’m turning his hair grey but it’s the hair in his ears!" She laughed loudly. 

->

They sat around a long dinner table made from driftwood. Large abstract paintings hung on the wall beside scrolls Ben recognized as Gungan.   
  


Ben sat between Leia and Padme. He’d never seen his mother so happy. 

“I’m not used to you being so quiet.” He said as she passed him a noodle dish.

“I’m not used to seeing you smile.” She replied.

It was true. His face ached, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so at ease.

"Whose padawan are you?" Shadda called from the other end of the table.

"Shadda! Ben is too old to be a padawan." Jinn corrected as she passed a bowl of root vegetables.

"Is not! Master Yoda says I’m gonna have to be a padawan for 300 years." 

"That’s because you drive him absolutely crazy." Obi-Wan laughed. 

"I caught a frog for him and he ate it! He bit its head and its legs were still moving.”

Leia shook with laughter.   
  


“At least the two of you aren’t eating bugs anymore, right Shadda?” Obi-Wan enquired.

Shadda’s green eyes grew round, a guilty expression on her face. “You could be Daddy’s Padawan? Swans was forever 'cuz she's difficult." 

"Shadda!" Obi-Wan's voice was stern.

"Master Yoda said it's true."

"That doesn't make it nice." Padme scolded. "Thank goodness Swans wasn't here.”

”I was very proud to have Swans as my Padawan. And she was difficult.” Obi-Wan smiled mischievously. “But so am I!”

"Master Yoda said I get to be his Padawan because Master Windu said he'd rather jump off a cliff."

Obi-Wan couldn't suppress a smile. He turned to Ben. "At least Swans lasted a whole year with Master Windu. I'm afraid he and Shadda didn't make it through an afternoon together."

Sola caught Ben’s eye with an imperious smile. “I was Master Windu’s Padawan for 8 years. We have similar temperaments.”

Starlings rolled her eyes. “Similar tempers, you mean?”

"I was Luke’s Padawan for awhile." All eyes at the table turned to Ben as he spoke softly. "But I didn’t finish my training. And then I was nothing for a long time. I lived a bad life until I met Rey. She and my parents led me out of the darkness."

Leia smiled and leaned her head against Ben’s shoulder. 

Afterward dinner was over, Ben helped Jinn with the dishes. He tried to act natural even though it had been decades since he'd held a dish towel. 

"I’ve treated many victims of the First Order." Jinn spoke quietly as she handed him a plate to dry.

"Yes, there were many." He couldn't meet her eyes. 

"What will you do to atone for the suffering you’ve caused?" She asked, her voice neutral as water.

He accepted a sopping dish from Jinn. His eyes strayed to meet hers. Her eyes were blue green like Obi-Wan's with a similar warmth and strength. He inhaled before speaking. "I will do what I can. I will be a better person."

She nodded solemnly. "See that you do."

Ben felt gravity shift below him. This small woman, who had arrived soaked in blood, expected more from him than he had ever expected of himself. Her eyes told him that if he did not follow through, she would never give him a second chance.

At the end of the night, when he had returned to the outer world. Ben couldn’t tell Rey what he had eaten or how long he’d stayed. When Padme offered to escort him back, he wished he could crawl into the walls and stay forever.

Everyone hugged him as he left. He could tell this was an usual way to end an evening. When he hugged his mother, their first embrace in almost 20 years, a lump rose in his throat. He could feel long coiled nerves unwind. Past Leia and Padme’s glowing smiles, Jinn's steady eyes watched him closely.


	31. Coworker

Ben woke up feeling like a different person. Jinn’s words echoed around his mind. _How will you atone?_

He took a quick shower and sprinted to the base’s makeshift kitchen, making caf and rummaging up semi-revolting field rations.

Rey looked alarmed when he brought her breakfast in bed. “What is this? 

"Grotesque rehydrated eggs and then something plant based that's kind of green."

Rey dug in without concern for taste. "But why are you doing this? Did you kill Ma Fas?”

”Not yet." He picked at the egg-like substance. "I want to go back to Yavin 4 and help Rose today.”

Rey frowned, thinking about what Beaumont Fin has told her the previous day. "I guess I could get the list of hospitals from the professor. Those might be good places to check for force sensitives."

->

Riding the elevator to Poe's office, Rey could feel the shift in Ben's spirit. 

"Padme's family had a big effect on you, didn't they?"

Ben couldn't contain his smile. "It was amazing. It felt like having sisters." He bit his lip. "I can't wait for you to meet all of them."

"Are they all sort of sharp around the edges like Swans?"

"Completely harsh. Jinn the oldest one, she has kinda red hair, she asked me how I was going to atone." He looked at the two of them in the mirror surface of the elevator. "I'm going to be a better person. I want us to have a life together."

Rey shrugged sadly. "A Palpatine and The Supreme Leader."

Ben backed her into the corner. 

She pointed up at the corner of the elevator. "Remember, security cameras?"

"I couldn't care less." He pulled her close to him, directly in front of the cameras and kissed her. His hands cradled the back of her neck as his soft lips traveled from her lips to nibble on her ears. 

->

Ben stood outside the doorway of Poe’s conference room, wondering if he should knock or charge in like Rey would. 

“Nice jacket.” Rose muttered. “Was the First Order having a rummage sale?”

Ben was silent just long enough to make her uncomfortable. “Yeah. It was half off.”

“Should be 100 percent off. What happened to your nice little sweater?”

“It was soaked with my tears. It’s air drying in Darth Vader's castle.”

She handed him a stack of photos. “Poe is hoping you can make sense of these. We recovered them from the ship that blew up hanger 5. I don’t understand what I’m looking at and I’m not sure why Poe keeps using all the printer ink to print shit out when he could just send it to my account.”

Ben studied the pictures, separating them into two piles. “These ones are Exegol. It looks like they’ve got freighters parked there. That’s new and potentially troubling as they seem to have paths between them indicating it’s a temporary shelter. It looks like a small base.” He slid the other pictures in front of her. “The other pictures are from Mustafar which is considered to be the home world for Siths. 

“Delightful. Do you have a summer home there?” 

“Yes. It houses my cape collection. And my semi-formal helmet gallery.” 

“You know, I was just thinking that your outfit is lacking a dramatic element.”

“In the future, I’ll try to accessorize with feathers.” 

“I wish we could be friends,'' Rose uttered sadly.

Ben’s eyes locked onto the floor. “Me too.”

“I don’t have a lot of people in my life.” 

“See that doesn’t make sense to me.” He smiled openly. “Despite your nasty disposition, I think you’re mildly enchanting.” 

Rose shook her head. “Kylo Fucking Ren. By gods, you’re not what I expected. Did you have an exorcism or something?”

He couldn’t meet her eyes. “I finally got to kill the voices inside my head. 20 years too late. Plus I get to kiss Rey now. That's been amazing." Ben paused, his face turning a deep red as he arranged the overlapping photos to make a map. "I'm 30 year old virgin. I bet you didn’t know that.”

Rose giggled. “Kylo Ren is a virgin. Can I get that printed on a shirt?”

“Why stop there? Tattoos last forever.”

She grabbed his arm, excitedly. “I know! We could be work friends! We don’t have to actually care about each other but we can, like, spend lots of time together and you get to listen to me talk about my love life.”

“I’ve definitely never had a work friend before.” He almost made a joke about Force choking Hux but decided it best to let Rose do the talking.

“...And you can tell me all about altering established weather patterns on Tatooine.” 

He laughed blushing deeply. 

“Or you could tell me about this charming cloud of man perfume you’re sporting today.” 

“It was my Mother’s.”

“Oh my gods, you’re funny and you wear lady perfume. I might be in love with you myself. Can I call you Benlo?”

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

“Poe has a crate of Leia’s stuff that he was going to give to Rey but he felt awkward so I said I’d do it. Technically, you’re next of kin but Poe has this thing where he doesn’t want to acknowledge that you actually exist - so anyway, I’m going to go get it. I’ll close the door so no one comes in and roughs you up.” She gave him a small smile. “Because we’re work friends now.”

Moments later, Rose returned carrying a crate from Leia’s desk in one arm and balancing two cups of caf in the other. “Can anyone become a Force user?”

Ben grabbed the crate out of her hands. “Probably to some degree. You have to train your mind.”

Rose watched Ben’s face pale as he opened and closed a book of Alderaan poetry from the crate. She handed him a cup of caf. 

”What’s the coolest thing you can do?”

Ben flushed thinking of the rainstorms he and Rey generated.

“Whoa - whoa you’re blushing! Why are you blushing? Now you have to tell me!”

“When Rey and I are together, it rains.”

“Together like kissing?”

He couldn't look at her. “Not necessarily, just intimate.”

“Oh my gods. That’s so romantic, I’m gonna get sick in my mouth. Ugh, I feel little chunks of it.”

“I can be invisible but I’m not sure if I do that on purpose.”

Rose shrugged. “Boring yet practical compared to makeout rain.”

“Oh, I can do this.” He took Rose’s hand.

She blanched, staring at him with mild alarm. “What’s going on? Please don’t kiss me. You're cute but I really don't want to kiss you.” Out of nowhere, she could hear his voice in her mind.

 **Can you hear me?** Ben’s voice was soft and low.

She gasped, amazed. “Oh my gods. How - how are you doing that?”

**Um, I’m not totally sure. I can only do it with people I know.**

“That’s so cool” Rose giggled.

“Try talking back to me in your head,” he said, cautiously taking his hand away. 

**Porg butts.** Rose stared at him, unsure if he’d heard her. 

“Porg butts,” Ben repeated out loud.

“Oh my gods, am I doing it?” 

Ben laughed, raising his cup to Rose’s. “You’re a force user, Rose Tico.” 

**- >**

When Rey found Ben later, he and Rose were making a list of Pros and Cons of Beaumont Fin.

“So _Cons_ : narrow shoulders, hates his family and I can’t tell if he has a sense of humor.”

Ben tapped the _Pro’s_ column. “On the other side, he’s smart. You like smart guys. This might be good for you.”

Rey felt like she’d entered into an alternate dimension.

“You’re so right. I usually go for dumb guys -”

Ben interrupted. “ -Because you feel as though your advanced engineering knowledge is inferior in some way? When in reality, most people simply can’t understand what you’re talking about because it’s less accessible.” 

"My gods, I looooove your boyfriend." Rose deadpanned to Rey before turning back to Ben.

“There’s another guy I met from Kef Bir named Veeda. He’s savage. He goes hunting. Isn’t that sooo brutal?” 

“ _This_ is what you two talk about?” Rey questioned.

“Veeda doesn’t sound hygienic.” Ben frowned. “On a scale from one to ten, how bad does he smell?” 

“No, no, no he smells totally minty.” 

“Are you giving up on Beaumont after two dates? Aside from his narrow shoulders, he seems perfect for you.”

“I know. Oh my gods, you're right.” 

Ben leaned back happily in his chair, stretching his long arms. “It’s good to keep your options open but think how cute your babies would be.” 

“Wow. Just WOW, you’re so right.”


	32. Jinn's Soldier

When Jinn left the room, Wipolo Nagg exhaled slowly. He had entered the medical center praying he’d survive the night. 6 hours later he felt better than he’d ever felt in his life 

A nurse entered to change the bloody sheets and offer him a change of clothes. His uniform had was in tatters. He clutched at the shredded clothing, a combination of earned and stolen insignia that defined his existence. He would return to nothing without them, clearing brush or picking up trash like a sanitation droid. 

The nurse gave him the once over. "You look good. I thought you were headed for the morgue."

"Me too." He smiled, the taste of blood clung to his lips. "Can you tell me about her?"

"Who’s that, dear?"

"Jinn, the healer. She had red hair, very pretty."

The nurse rested his hip against the doorframe. "I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you."

Wipolog sat up, intrigued. "Try me."

The nurse sat down on the bedside chair, his voice dropped to a whisper. "Jinn Kenobi, we think she’s the daughter General Obi-Wan Kenobi." 

"His daughter?" Wipolo chuckled. "But he’s been dead for what, like forever? We read about him in history class."

"Word is, she was born on the other side. She's some sort of undead spirit ghost child."

"No way!"

The nurse nodded, pleased to be gossiping. "People in town said he’s been here too."

"General Obi-Wan Kenobi? I mean, his ghost?"

"They _say_ he doesn’t look much older than her. I guess ghosts get to be young forever, unlike me." 

"Is her mother a living person?"

"Oh, I wish I knew. Jinn is very, very quiet. We rarely get more than a yes or no out of her."

Wipolo grinned, thinking how this description differed from the flirtatious woman who had hinted at locking them into a room together. 

The nurse misinterpreted his smile. "Did you take a liking to her?"

Wipolo froze. "Am I that obvious?" 

"Ooooh, imagine dating Master Obi-Wan Kenobi’s daughter!”

His momentary panic turned to cold dread. Wipolo was no one. Worse than no one, he wasn’t even the insignificant person he was pretending to be. 

"Gods, he’d never accept someone like me dating his daughter." He muttered to himself.

The nurse swatted at him playfully. "Funny that out of everything I just said: ghost child, undead father, you’re troubled at the prospect of not being fancy enough for our Jinn."

He dropped his head to his hands. "I don’t stand a chance." 

The nurse patted him on the shoulder. "I think you’re getting a bit ahead of yourself. You were nearly dead earlier today. Let’s focus on the positive. I’m going to leave this paperwork for you. Fill it out tonight and Jinn will go over it with your commanding officer in the morning."

Wipolo looked out the window at the starry night. He was stuck. He tried to imagine what would happen if Jinn contacted his commanding officer? Commander Conundra would say, _'Wipolo who? Oh wait, do you mean the guy who vacuums our ship?'_


	33. Patient on the Outside

The next morning, Jinn practically skipped into work. She brought a bag of globefruit muffins, leftover from the dinner with Ben. She left the bag with Unogra who sniffed them with his agile tentacles. She knocked on the door of exam room 4, her cheeks flushed with excitement. The air seemed shift colors when she saw the empty bed. She wanted to rewind her day like a holo disk and make the door open to him.

The bed hadn’t been made. She sat down, hoping to feel the warmth of his body. His chart still hung from the bedpost. She scanned over it. There was no update since she signed off the night before. No discharge, no update from the night nurse. Jinn gripped the chart to her chest, about to charge out and see if he’d been moved when she saw it. On the wall by the window I ❤️ Jinn had been written in blood. 

She knew he was gone. Her heart sunk like a rock. She clutched the chart, trying to make sense of Unogra‘s cryptic handwriting. 

She stormed into the waiting room to find Unogra polishing off his 6th muffin.

"Those were for everyone!"

Unorga sniffled. "Oh, I thought they were mine."

"What happened to room number 4?!"

"He checked himself out around midnight."

"His condition was _CRITICAL!"_

"He told the night nurse he never felt better in his life. Said his squadron or something needed him or something."

"Where- where was he going?" 

"Parts unknown." Unogra noticed the growing alarm on her face and stood up straight. "He didn’t say where he was going." 

"What was his name?" She held up his chart. "I can’t read your writing." 

"I only got Nag or Nog or Neg." 

"Is that a first name?"

"Last name, probably" Unogra shifted uncomfortably.

"This isn’t like you. You’re usually so thorough!" Her voice was getting loud, she couldn’t control her desperation. 

"I thought he was going to die. So I took his picture and palm print for the morgue." He shrugged. "You’re a modern miracle worker uh - Jinny, right?"

"Jinn. J I N N." She corrected impatiently. 

"I have pics and a palm scan for the corpse file. I didn’t delete them. I’ll send it to your account- _wait_ , you don’t use your account, do you? Because you just come and go as you please." Unogra scolded.

Jinn felt a wave of guilt for bypassing procedure. "Unogra, can you please show me how to use my account?"

"I thought you’d never ask! We can get you set up with payroll too."

"That's not necessary."

Unogra shook his head, tentacles wobbling. "You Jedi are always saying no when you should be saying yes." 

Jinn froze, turning to look at him.

He leveled his narrow eyes with hers. "You didn’t think i knew you were Jedi? I’m 90 years old, I’ve seen a Jedi or two in my day. Plus you carry a lightsaber on your belt. It’s a dead give away." He laughed at her alarm. "I met your father a long time ago. Don’t look at me like that! You look and sound exactly like Master Obi-Wan. You act like him too. Always patient on the outside but on the inside, it’s a whole other story." 

"What do you think is going on inside?" She was curious to know. 

"Just like Master Kenobi, you like to act all calm but you’re always on the verge of knocking folks heads together for making stupid mistakes." 

Jinn laughed. It was the first time she’d ever laughed at work.

"Now Jinn Kenobi, let’s find this soldier you fancy." Unogra shuffled to the bank of main office computers.

Half an hour later, Jinn had an account with the Resistance database and a official ID tag reading Jinn Kenobi.

"How long have you known about me?" She asked, shyly.

"As soon as you failed to pick up your first paycheck." 

"Does everyone know?" 

He shook his head. "Word is that you healed Oga Garra’s grandson. That’s enough for most folks around here." 

"It was only a broken wrist." Jinn said embarrassed.

"Shush. Whatever. You’re untouchable here. Speaking of touchable, what are you waiting for? Look up your boy!"

Jinn typed Nag into the medical facility's database. There were 212 hits. She turned to Unogra, alarmed.

"Try Nag with two g’s or wait - look up admitted by date." She typed in yesterday’s date and viewed 20 names. 

"It was a slow day, mostly corpses. See he’s at the bottom. I had him in as Nagg but I don’t know if that’s right cuz there’s no ID tag which is pretty unusual. She clicked on the name and held her breath. There were two pictures of his massive injuries, one picture of his Resistance logo tattoo and close up of his face. 

"My gods." She whispered, touching the screen. "Where did you go?"


	34. Seeking on Tatooine

Swans adjusted the dumpy hooded tunic dress she'd borrowed from her twin sister. Paired with grey pants and boots, she hoped she looked the part of a Tattooine junk trader. Or at the very least, she hoped not to stand out in Mos Espa. Ben and Rey were at her father's old home near the Dune Sea and had promised to meet her in 3 hours. She made a mental note to remind the two to come back for her since they were probably kissing like demons while she was working.

She had chosen an outside cafe where she could watch people come and go. Force energy floated past her like an ocean current.

"Buy you a drink, honey?" A Klatooinian sat down beside Swans. 

She fixed him with a intense glare, waving her hand in front of his face in classic Jedi form. "You'd like to get the hell away from me."

The Klatooinian's swagger disappeared and he stood up obediently. "I would like to get away from you. Quickly."

As she continued to people watch, Qui Gon appeared at her side. A wide smile transformed her beautiful face. 

"Well Qui Gon Jinn, what are you doing here on Tatooine?"

"I’m here to assist you in finding force sensitive beings." 

"Oh are you?" Her voice took on a condescending tone.

"Yes." A smile twitched at the corners of his mouth. 

"Is that a poncho you’re wearing?"

He pulled out the corners of it dramatically. "Yes, it's a poncho. Are you planning to make fun of it?"

"I was going to but it’s oddly flattering on you." 

"I have the height for it." He said without a trace of arrogance.

She allowed herself to admire him. His appearance was younger than usual. The lines she loved still crinkled around his eyes but his hairline seemed lower, the angles of his face were less sharp. Had he done this for her?

Qui Gon looked at her seriously. "I didn’t mean to disturb you last night Swans."

She tossed her sandy blond hair dismissively. "I’m not disturbed by you. I’m sure you have the same fantasy about a lot of women." Her voice was icy. "Probably all the Kenobi women."

Qui Gon leaned into her space, their noses almost touching. His bright blue eyes bore into her. "Stop." His voice was rough and commanding. "I understand I offended you and I apologize. Maybe it’s easier for you to dismiss the vision you saw as a generic fantasy I have about women. But it is not. I only fantasize about you."

Swans was speechless. 

The Rodian bartender sidled up to them. "What can I get you, sir?

"We'll have two more of whatever she was drinking," Qui Gon ordered smoothly. 

Qui Gon slowly peeled off Swan's leather gloves and took her hand. Her connection locked into him and she tried to search his mind but the only thing she could see was the two of them looking at the sunset. 

"You’re blocking me out of your mind?" She accused. "I'm surprised you know how."

He smiled. "I was Padawan to Master Dooku. I know a thing or two about shielding my thoughts."

"No, you don’t," she challenged. She focused in further, reaching into his force signature but she could only see her own face reflected back like a mirror. "Ohhh wow, you’re better than I thought."

He smiled with satisfaction and took a sip from her glass. "Swans, you'll find I'm good at many things."

She couldn't keep her eyes off his lips, wondering what they would taste like. Allowing herself to think about the fantasy she'd seen in his mind, she wondered what his lips would feel like on her body.

Qui Gon jolted her out of her imagination by tracing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. "Swans, what does the Resistance’s only Force Seeker look for in a recruit?" 

“Poe has me looking for possible pilots: young, Force-sensitive, emotionally stable with an even temper."

"Then you wouldn’t have chosen your father."

"What?!"

"He was passed over when was thirteen and wasn’t chosen as anyone’s Padawan because he was deemed too aggressive and unpredictable."

"Are you serious?" 

Qui Gon held out his other hand to her. She grasped it and allowed Qui Gon to connect to her consciousness. Through his memories, she could see a teenage version of her father. Sweet faced and determined. He was in a crowded room, dueling with a girl of the same age. Obi-Wan was red-faced and sweating, his form was nearly perfect but his timing was jerky and his blows were unnecessarily harsh."

"This is in the Temple." Qui Gon murmured softly into her ear. "At this point, he has been fighting for over an hour with the same opponent."

His breath in her ear made her swoon. 

"The Jedi Council found his performance to be highly aggressive and a symptom of an undisciplined mind. He was sent to work in the mines where I ran into him on a mission. I remembered how earnest he was. His fierce determination spoke to me and I decided to make him my Padawan."

Swans heart melted thinking about how Qui Gon could see through the haze of egos in order to see the greatness in people. "My gods, has my mother seen this?"

“I’ll have to remember to show her next time I’m over.” 

Swans drew away from his hands. "I need to keep this in mind when I’m evaluating force users." 

"Look beneath the chaos of surface personalities. Like young Shadda, underneath the wiry impulsive energy is a keenly observant child who is devoted to learning. Likewise, beneath Sola’s sweet nurturing demeanor lurks a savage warrior. Like your father, she approaches combat without fear. Starlings takes after your mother. They are selfless and are able to parse complex challenges into manageable portions.

"And me?" Swans asked, trying not to sound too eager.

Qui Gon's eyes sparkled. "You and Jinn are most alike. A calm stable exterior but inside your emotions rage like an ocean."

"You shouldn’t feel like you need to stay away from my family because of me."

"I wasn’t planning on it." He took her hand again, cautiously pressing it to his lips. For a brief moment, her entire body purred with warmth. She blinked back arousal.

Moments later, the bartender returned with two glasses of Jawa Juice.

Swans downed hers in a gulp. Qui-Gon sipped his drink cautiously.

"Well, that certainly _is_ repellant." He finished the glass, his eyes never leaving Swans. "Now tell me, have you found any recruits here?" 

"Nope. Like my Father always said 'It’s a _wretched hive of scum and villainy.'_

"I would tend to agree. So how does this normally work when you're seeking?" 

"I usually scan for force energy and if I sense some, then I’ll find a way to get close enough to touch them."

He caressed the inside of her wrist. "Does the mode of proximity make a difference?" 

She looked away, embarrassed. "When I'm looking for pilots for the Resistance, it’s most efficient if I kiss the individual. Their defenses are down and - you know." 

He was momentarily speechless. "There’s nothing to feel strange about. I don’t lay any claim to you. You can kiss whoever you want."

And there it was, crystal clear and soul-crushing. The Jedi code. The lack of attachment. Qui-Gon might fantasize about her, he might even allow himself to act upon his physical attraction but he would never truly want her.

Long ago when she had confided her girlish love for Qui-Gon to her oldest sister Jinn. Kind, practical Jinn had explained the difference between a relationship with and without attachment. Back then, any level of relationship sounded heavenly but now that it was in front of her, a relationship without emotional attachment made her sad. 

Swans turned the situation over in her mind. He desired her, this much was clear. And her own lust for him was nothing short of paralyzing. Maybe their relationship could never be the deep loving bond her parents shared but it could be something warm and caring. She thought of his words, she was the only woman he fantasized about. Maybe it could be enough for her, maybe she could adjust. “Ummm. Could I visit you tonight?”

Qui-Gon set his glass down with a warm smile. "I would like that very much. We can talk."

His handsome face lit up with boyish wonder as raindrops began to fall on the streets of Mos Espa. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of Qui Gon as a romantic lead?


	35. Magnetism of the Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut ahead - you've been warned

Ben tested and found a link to Swans consciousness. She was surveying the streets of Tatooine while he and Rey went to Obi-Wan’s house to _enhance their force bond_.

He circled the floor of the 'Healing Room', stopping to wipe the dust off each of the crystals embedded in the floor. Touching them had a slightly numbing effect.

Rey inhaled the soft scent of coconut that hung in the air, her toes curling up in anticipation of the Healing Crystal's strange powers. By contrast, Ben seemed fidgety, nervous. "Are you worried about Swans?"

"No, I can sense her. It's the strangest thing. I just met her but I feel like I've always known her." Ben shook his head with amazement. "I have this large family who wants to know me. In spite of everything I’ve done. I have a grandmother who loves me? I can’t process it."

"I’m jealous. I always wished for a family." 

Ben straightened the boots Rey had casually discarded. He paced off to get water from the vaporizer. "Hey, it’s full. Overflowing actually." He almost dropped the pitcher when he saw Rey standing across the room. She had unbuttoned her shirt, fanned herself in only her breastband. He instantly went from doorway to her side. 

"Wow! What was that?" Her eyes were wide. "I think you just teleported!"

He looked back at the door. "That was weird." 

"Do it again!"

He concentrated and nothing happened.

"Go back to the door and try it again. Quick!" 

He walked back to the doorway, looked across the room to at Rey. The same desire fueling him, he teleported again. 

"Try it from the front door!" 

"It’s too far!" He shouted from the door. "Ugh, it doesn't work."

Rey turned to him, perplexed. Only when Ben was able to see her, was he able to teleport, coming to stop behind her. "It only works when I'm looking at what I want most."

They sunk down to the stone floor. Their movements were slowed by the strange magnetism of the room. Rey unbuttoned his jacket. "This is by far, the ugliest jacket I've ever seen you wear."

"I wore it all day yesterday and you didn't say anything. But Rose _did_ offer to burn it." His breathing slowed as he began to feel himself through her. He started see himself through her eyes. He smiled at her sweet expression and could see his own face, boyishly in love. "I shouldn’t get to be with you." His voice echoed back to him as he cupped her face in his hands.   
  


"Some of the greatest minds the galaxy determined you belong with me." Rey whispered with obvious effort. "Oh gods, I hope this room doesn't stop my heart."

"I don’t deserve to have you." 

"I feel like we’ve been over this. Her hand slid under his shirt, turning circles slowly before slipping into his pants she stroked the length of his cock until he trembled. "We are together for a reason."

"I don’t know what I'm doing." His voice was husky with desire.

Rey shivered despite the heat.

Ben’s voice was strained and nervous as he started to undress her. "I’ve- I’ve always thought your clothes looked like they would be complicated to take off." He slid her pants off. "But they’re not. Look - They’re surprisingly easy to remove." He struggled with her breast band finally yanking it off her. 

He stepped back to admire her breasts, small round perfect. Her nipples were stiff with her arousal. "All the times I’ve imagined you naked- it doesn’t compare. You're astonishing."

He stepped closer, his hands trembled as he touched the sides of her breasts skimming over her nipples with his thumbs.

He stared into her hazel eyes centering himself in their connection. **I've never touched -**

 **Be with me.**

He let go of everything and focused only on her. He yanked her to him, pulling their chests together. The sensation of their skin touching made his head swim. He lowered his face to meet hers, his lips crushing against hers. Warmth flooded their connection. His mouth was cool and wet, searching and consuming her. She couldn’t keep up with him. His hands were everywhere; touching her face, her breasts, between her legs.

 **Lay down**. She ordered. 

He lay down on the cool stone floor. His magnificent body was pale and perfect.

Rey straddled him, her wetness was exquisite against his stiff cock. She adjusted the angle so the tip made contact with her clit. She moaned as she ground against him. He stared up at her, his breath rapid, his eyes wide with amazement. She rose up on her knees she used her hands braced herself against his chest as she slid herself against the entire length of his cock. His eyes clouded with desire. Suddenly rain drops began to splatter against the skylights. A low feral growl came from Ben as she guided his erection into her. She was overwhelmed with lust as she watched his chest start to heave with loud gasping breaths. She leaned forward to kiss him as her hips rose and slowly sank into him. Her nipples brushed against his chest and he shuddered. Instinct kicked in and he grabbed her hips, bucking up into her as she was sinking down. Her sigh was the encouragement he needed. They found a rhythm as his back arched to thrust into her. 

"Deeper." She whispered into his ear. 

Cradling her head, he rolled her onto her back never breaking their kiss. His movements were slow and hesitant at first, smiling at his own clumsiness. Then he took her hands in his and stretched her arms behind her head.

"Rey." He breathed. "Be with me. Be with me." His mouth caught hers over and over until she was thirsty only for him. His tongue darted to hers, relishing every sensation. He used his teeth to scrape her nipple into his mouth. He reached into their force connection, feeling her desires, her wishes, where she ached for his touch. His fingers circled around her clit gently at first and then more forcefully. 

"Oh Gods, oh gods." Her voice sounded far away, like it belonged to someone else.

Their connection crackled with energy as her body stiffened with her orgasm. Warm rain pelted against the walls of the ancient stone dwelling as he gripped her breasts with his large hands. Her eyes closed and he fucked hard into her, his toes trying to find purchase against the smooth floor. Her hands gripped the hair at the back of his neck as he thrust into her over and over like a mad man. Her strong legs wrapped around his waist and he fought cumming and welcomed it at the same time. Every shred of self left him like a bucket tipping over. She felt his muscles tense as his energy flowed into her. 

The rainstorm outside was deafening. Ben flung his arms wide, feeling the universe flowing through Rey, through him. He felt the force in a personal way he'd never felt before. It was safe and timeless and beautiful.

They lay on the floor together, her head resting on his chest. She reached out to him with her hand extended. It was the gesture had that sparked his redemption. He touched his fingers to hers, comforted by the warmth and steady strength of her force. He could feel his own fingertips and hers at the same time.

"How did it happen?

"What?"

"The dark side? Why did you choose it? Why did you go to Snoke? You could have gone anywhere."

"I was always heading that direction."

She looked confused.

"I mean, not always but it started when I was young. I was at a birthday party of one of my friends - I was six or seven. His mom had made a really fancy meiloorun flavored cake. I remember being jealous because, you know, General Organa didn’t have time to make cakes. Anyway, out of nowhere, I had this vision of stabbing my friend and his mom. It was so -" He paused, thinking. "-violent. I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't." His voice sounded hollow, like Keylo Ren through his mask. "Then, I heard a voice say _You are better than them. You can destroy them all_. When I looked around, I realized I was the only one who heard it. I had to go home, I was so scared."

Ben was shivering now. "After that, I kept having these flashes of violence, hearing the same voice. My mom, my teachers, my dad. Whoever I was with - whenever I was jealous or mad, even if it was just a little bit, it would happen. I would have visions of killing them. Over and over again. It was constant. You wouldn’t believe the things - I don’t want you to know what was in my mind."

Rey held him tighter. "You mean, what was being _put_ in your mind?"

"Now that I’m older I can tell the visions were put there but when I was younger, I thought it was because I was evil. Cutting flesh with scissors, beating people until their bones splintered, throwing my classmates in front of a bus." He shook his head. "There was always a voice telling me I was special, more powerful. Saying I could kill anyone I wanted. Finally, when I was 9, I told Chewie. I didn’t know who else to tell. He got me to tell my mom and I could tell everything changed with her in an instant, just like that. The way she looked at me like I was contaminated - she never looked at me the same way."

"She knew?"

Ben nodded, tears pooling in his eyes. "My parents always fought but they started arguing all the time. There was one really bad fight and I heard my dad talking about Darth Vader and Siths. I knew those words but I - I didn’t know Vader was my grandfather. My dad said raising me out in the open was painting a target on my back that it was just a matter of time before Snoke came after me." 

Rey read his mind. "You knew when you heard his name didn’t you?"  
  


Ben wiped at his tears. "I tried to kill myself that night." He tentatively allowed Rey to see him struggling to swallow a handfuls of pills and wandering out into the snow. "Chewie found me. My mother sent for Luke the next day."

"You never stood a chance." Rey smoothed his hair out of his eyes. 

"Don’t make excuses for me. I made choices at every point along the way."

She sat up. "You were conditioned. It’s so cruel to do that to a child."

He shrugged "Every monster has a backstory."

Rey wove her fingers between his. "Yes they do." She stared into his eyes, reading the grief and pain. "In this room, I can tell how you feel. There's nothing between us."

Her innate kindness reflected in waves around them. He felt it running into him and through him, back to her. He could see himself through her compassionate eyes. Lonely, injured, guilty and dying to redeem himself. He could see himself so clearly, he was desperate for her love. He was desperate for the chance to love her in return.

She lifted his chin to meet her eyes. Everything echoed back to her. He was her family now and would lay down his life for her. She would never be alone as long as he lived. When she kissed him, she could feel long dormant nerves waking up in both of them. The corners of their souls that they had closed off or taught themselves to ignore were seeing the light. Ben's lips opened to her, his arms running the length of her back. 

Her arms tightened around him, the room was spinning. She stared into his dark eyes, falling deeper and deeper into their connection until she couldn't tell his heartbeat from hers, his breaths from her own.

Rey could feel her senses completely overload, the room darkened for a brief moment. She could feel the roaring thunder of his emotions as arcs of lightening shot across the wide desert clouds.

Outside, the desert was sky was dark with falling rain.


	36. Brave

When Obi-Wan summoned him to the Netherworld. Ben knew something was different. There would be no relaxed conversation today, no training. No one waited for him so he stumbled into the dueling room. As his eyes adjusted to the dark room, Anakin strode up to him. His androgynous features made him seem almost pretty and slightly fragile. Ben had idolized his grandfather for so long, it seemed odd to finally meet him. 

"You’re destroying her, you know that right?"

"Hello to you too." Ben spoke with more confidence than he felt, thankful to able to summon up his father’s sarcastic charm. 

"We’re in the Netherworld Solo, there’s no point to fooling around with introductions. Rey is the most powerful, most important soul in the galaxy and she is wasting her time with the ghost of a second rate Skywalker." Anakin spat.

Ben couldn't hide his shock. "Well, maybe I’m saving her from some third rate jerkoff. They sent me back for a reason."

Anakin stepped closer. " _Well -"_ His tone was mocking. "- there was a vote about sending you back and it certainly wasn’t unanimous. Personally, I don’t think your redemption will balance out all the horrors you created."

Ben leveled his eyes at his grandfather. "Thanks for your opinion, _Vader_. I don't think it will either but I'm still going to try." 

"Did you know Jinn was ostracized for resurrecting you? Her Master, Barriss Offee left the Netherworld over it? She was so disgusted with Jinn that she became one with the Force."

With that, Anakin Skywalker walked away.

->

Ben didn’t mean to call out to his mother but he was relieved when she appeared at his side.

Leia scowled at Annakin’s retreating form. "There’s not a lot to work with there."

Ben allowed himself to exhale the breath he had been holding. "I thought he and I were alike. I - I thought maybe he might understand me." Ben stammered.

"He hates himself so much. He wants everyone else to hate themselves too." Leia shook her head sadly. "His fear killed my mother and even after all these years, he won’t let himself carry that weight." She sighed in irritation. "Maybe in a few hundred years he’ll admit he was responsible."

"Do he and Luke-"

"Luke treats Anakin as an ongoing project. You can probably guess how well that’s been working out."

Ben gripped his mother's hand for comfort.

"He had all that pressure to be great."

Ben wasn’t sure if his mother was talking about Luke or Anakin.

Leia sighed heavily. "We did the same thing to you-"

Ben put his arms around his mother before she could finish. After decades of trying to shut her out of his mind, it felt like a relief to open their mental connection. He put her hand to his temple and let Leia see how Snoke’s visions, how his whispers had destroyed Ben's sense of self. Finally he showed her Luke’s attack on him and his destruction of The Temple.

"No." She looked at Ben, pleading with her eyes for the memories not to be real. Ben shared a memory of kneeling before Snoke, being beaten and berated for every aspect of his personality. He went on to show her his own cruelty, ordering the execution of innocent villagers, torturing Poe. 

Leia stood still. Tears ran down her cheeks, sobs shook her shoulders. Beyond what he showed her were her own memories recolored by this new knowledge. Ben’s gradual detachment from his school friends, the times he had begged to go to a psychologist and she had stubbornly refused because of her own embarrassment, Ben’s insomnia, her overwhelming relief when she’d sent him to Luke to train.

"It was a mistake sending you to Luke. it wasn’t right for you and it destroyed my relationship with your father."

"Dad." Ben whispered. "I’m so sorry for what I did."

Leia searched her son’s face. "I know. I know dear."  
  
"I wanted to be like dad. He was so brave. He didn’t have the force or a lightsaber but he would walk right into danger without a plan."

"You _are_ like him. Underneath all those capes and shit, you always were."

"I’m sorry for everything. All the years."

Leia smiled her stong, gentle smile. "You will pay it back to the universe one breath at a time." 

He nodded unable to speak as Obi-Wan appeared, beckoning for him.

->

Leia folded her arms across her chest as Han Solo stepped out of the shadows. "I suppose you heard all that?"

"My son thinks I’m brave." Han Solo's lips curved into a smug smile.


	37. A Matter of Perceptions

Ben was led to a deserted courtyard with a babbling fountain. A warm breeze washed over his shivering flesh. Obi-Wan stood with his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Please sit down. They’ll be here soon.”   
  
Obi-Wan bowed to him slightly before stepping to the edge of the courtyard. Ben sat down uneasily on the edge of the fountain. 

A door opened at the other end of the courtyard and Shadda burst through with Yoda hobbling behind her. Shadda ran to her father. "Daddy!"

Yoda lumbered up and swatted Ben’s shin with his walking stick. "Increasing your powers are, young Solo?"

Ben kept his eyes lowered. 

“He has taught himself to teleport.” Obi-Wan reported, as he hugged Shadda. “He is apparently quite adept at cloaking himself. But he doesn’t know how or when he’s doing it.”

“What say you, Ben Solo?” Yoda enquired.

Ben studied his hands. He tried to speak but his voice was gone. He shook his head.

Yoda nodded. “Shadda!” He called. Shadda hurried to his side. He smiled at her and she repeatedly kissed his head, laughing. 

“See you both, the same small green Jedi?”

Ben nodded, eyes averted. 

“Relaxed and calm Shadda is. Fearful and withdrawn young Solo is. Tell me why.”

Ben chewed on his lower lip. 

“The same, I am. Different perceptions, you both have.” 

Obi-Wan sensed Ben’s fear of Yoda and intervened. “Shadda, are you scared of Yoda?”

“Nooooo! I love him. We eat bugs. He’s going to teach me Juyo as soon as I can be quiet for five minutes in a row.”

Obi-Wan’s eyebrows shot up in alarm. “Juyo?! For a 5 year old?”

Yoda chuckled. 

Shadda reached for a moth. “Darling, I wish you didn’t eat bugs.”

Shadda giggled happily, picking a flower to tuck behind Yoda’s large ear.

Obi-Wan’s blue green eyes twinkled. “Ben, I believe Yoda would like you to know this: Your training, both with Luke and with Snoke was based in fear. Not only were you fearful of your master, you feared yourself. Now that you feel safe, your powers are starting to blossom. We are excited to see how you progress.”

Flushed from the encouragement. Ben stole a glance at Yoda. Shadda swiped a white moth out of the air and offered it to him. Yoda shook his head and Shadda popped the insect in her mouth, giggling.

“Shadda please don’t eat bugs. At least not in front of your mother!”

Yoda pointed his walking stick at Ben. He regarded him with kindness. “Ben Solo! Important to the future, you are. Guide many young force users, you will.”

Tears stung Ben’s eyes. He nodded, wiping away tears.   
  


“Don’t cry.” Shadda whispered. “You’re not in trouble.“ She took his hand.

”On the contrary, we are quite proud.”

Ben’s hand clamped over his mouth to contain a sob. Decades of fear and shame tore through him. His shoulders heaved as Obi-Wan embraced him. 

“We would like you to work on Healing Trance with Master Qui-Gonn and learn how to project yourself as a force illusion with Master Skywalker.”

Ben bristled at Luke’s name. “Please don’t make me. Luke hates me.” He whispered. 

Yoda nodded. “Punished yourself enough for your past with Skywalker.”

”We won’t make you work with Luke. At least not yet.” Obi-Wan continued. “In the meantime, try alter-image. It works best for force-sensitives skilled in receptive telepathy. You’ll find it useful to change your appearance You might also want to work on Force melding with someone besides Rey.”

“A powerful force user, Swans Kenobi is.” Yoda recommended.

”Also, the grumpiest of all my daughters.”


	38. Tied with a Ribbon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut ahead - you've been warned

Qui-Gon could sense her presence as he got out of the shower. He hadn’t expected her so early.

“Swans?” He called. “I can make some tea if you like.”

He was relieved she had wanted to visit. When she had confessed her feelings to him, his heart had soared. Seconds later, he felt like he had lost everything when she had seen his explicit vision. He hoped that if they were able to speak honestly with each other, they might be able to find a way to slowly start a relationship.

Qui-Gon had lovers before, he had even been in love in the past but this was different. Swans had been trained as a Jedi but he knew she had none of their qualms about attachment. He knew she wanted a relationship like her parents, not a practical arrangement based solely on physical attraction. There would be no safe distance with her heart. He would need to be careful with her.

He set his two finest tea cups on the table. “Swans?”

She wasn't in his sitting room. He rounded the corner to his sleeping area. She was sitting in the middle of his bed, topless. It was exactly like his vision down to the shiny, pink ribbon serving as a blindfold.

"Swans what are you doing?"

"I want you." She whispered.

"I thought we should talk or define our expectations of-"

"I want you, Qui-Gon." She repeated slowly.

He stood frozen in place. She was breathtaking. Her hair was still wet from the shower, her dusky nipples were stiff with arousal. He told himself to step away but he couldn't. "Swans - oh gods, you are too perfect." He pulled off his shirt and climbed onto the bed across from her. He ran his hands along the sides of her beautiful throat.

"Please fuck me." She whispered.

Her words went straight to his groin.

“Not yet.” His voice was low and commanding. He leaned in close, deliberately brushing her cheek with his beard. He skimmed his lips against hers. She lurched forward to kiss him. He caught her shoulders softly before trapping her wrists with his large hand. 

When his lips met hers again, warmth coursed through his entire soul. He parted her lips gently, taking his time exploring and tasting her. Impatient for more, her lips crushed his with a moan. Despite his restraint on her wrists, she reached out for him with her body. He released her and her hands laced into his hair.   
  


He stroked the sides of her face, allowing himself to touch her chin, her neck before running his hands down to cup her perfect breasts. He brushed her nipples with his thumbs gently and felt her tremble. 

He gently leaned her back against the soft bed, not breaking their kiss. 

He helped her wriggle out of her sheer pink underwear and parted her legs.

“Gods Swans, you are so wet for me.” He kissed her thighs slowly. His tongue ran up one side of her folds, paused to flit over her clit before slowly exploring the other side. Her hands flew to his hair as an orgasm rolled over her like an ocean wave.

He stared at her, bewildered by lust. Her chest was heaving as her breath turned into panting.

"I want you". She pleaded. "Please fuck me." 

"Not yet, not yet." He swirled his tongue over her clit lightly enjoying her moans.

"Swans, tell me what you want." 

"I want you to take control.” She whispered. 

The only sounds in the room was him stepping out of his pants and boots. He returned to the bed silently. She could sense his strong shoulders straighten as he positioned himself before her. The tip of his cock slid against her clit over and over as she clenched the blanket, her body shuddered with pleasure. 

Qui-Gon’s voice was hoarse with desire. "I’ll go slow."

She almost asked what he meant then her fingers encircled his throbbing cock.

"Oh gods, you’re large."

He pushed the tip into her and she huffed against him, trying to pull his body closer. He thrust a little further and was encouraged by her deep moan. 

"More." She urged.

Qui-Gon was momentarily overwhelmed at the sight of his cock slowly easing into her cunt.

“Please!” She coaxed.

He sank his length into her, filling her to the hilt. She clutched onto his shoulder, gasping for breath 

"Oh gods oh gods." She wrapped her legs around his back and her whole body arched. 

He began to thrust into her slowly with a devotion he had never known before. His pace increased, pulling out further and grinding hard into her. His fingers kneaded her clit. She was moaning louder now, another orgasm overwhelming her senses. She finally cried out, her scream pushing him over the edge, his cock twitching as he exploded inside her.

He continued to fuck into her as he came. The floodgates of her connection poured open. Years of pining for him lay open like a book.

He didn’t speak or answer her feelings. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her softly while her breathing returned to normal.

She sat up. "I should go."

"No." His arms wrapped around her, pulling her back to bed. "You should never go."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it too much?


	39. Watched

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief smut ahead - you've been warned

Ben woke before Rey. He felt like a different person. It wasn't as simple as having new family. He had people he couldn't let down. 

When Rey finally woke, he marveled at her beauty. She was obviously marveling at something too. Her thin hands did their morning check in to make sure he was still breathing, heart still beating before they roamed toward his cock. She inhaled slowly as she felt it grow in her grasp. 

"Mmmm. Good morning" She nuzzled closer to him. 

He smiled and pushed her hands away so he could dive between her legs. 

"Oh gods." She moaned. "This is new."

He dropped a line of kissed up her parted thighs. "I read about this in a book. Just checking to see if it works." 

->

In the farthest landing strip on the Arjan Kloss base, Finn quietly exited his ship. 

Manzuzuu had told him that Kylo Ren was likely to be visable as he slept. He planned to get a video or two as evidence. In the event that he had to justify his actions down the line, it would be helpful to have proof that Kylo Ren was still alive. Or maybe he'd load the video up to one of the holosites. That would really piss people off. Maybe Poe didn't care about Kylo Ren but the galaxy would. Maybe Poe could be dismissive but the generals would not sit idly by with a war criminal hanging out on Arjan Kloss. He ran toward Commander D'Acy's quarters quietly gripping his camera.

Rain was falling steadily around him as Finn hid behind a trash can.

->

The sounds of rain falling on the roof of the barracks made the roof sound fragile.

Ben's tongue bathed Rey's labia. His fingers gripped her hips, pulling her closer to him. Her loud moans rewarded him as he lapped at her clit with increasing pressure. 

"I want you." She cried. 

"What do you want, Rey?" Ben asked, his voice was low and coarse. 

Rey looked down, the sight of Ben between her legs jolted her senses. Her force rippled with pleasure.

Ben flicked her clit. "Do you like that?"

She dug her nails into his shoulder. "Yes. Yes."

Ben gripped her nipples hard and was thrilled to feel her thrash against him. Her hands clenched his hair as she came.

As her orgasm subsided, Ben kissed his way from her clit up her neck, sucking and biting her.

"I need you. I want you."

"What do you want, Rey? Say it."

"I want you to fuck me.” She was writhing. "Gods Ben, please fuck me" 

->

Finn watched in horror as the Supreme Leader of the First Order gripped his large cock with his fist. Kylo Ren positioned himself between Rey's legs. Her legs wrapped around him and he slowly entered her. As he started to thrust into her, Rey's face twisted in ecstasy. 

"I'm yours." She moaned. "Only yours."

"Gods, I love you. I love you. I love you." He heard Kylo Ren repeat with each thrust. He tried to keep the camera steady as the two moved faster and faster. He set the camera down as Kylo ordered Rey to cum with him. Their guttural moans were obscene. He felt sick but couldn't look away as Kylo reared back, his large hands gripping Rey’s breasts.

Behind him on a trail, Ma Fas slithered up. "Oh my little fat Finn!" She called, her voice ringing out all the way to Commander D'Acy's quarters.

"Holy shit. Finn!" Rey whirled in Finn's direction, spying him holding a field camera on the edge of the base. Ben followed her gaze and before she could utter a word, a bolt of force lightning hurled out of his hands and knocked the camera out of Finn's hands. 

"Would you look at that!" Mas Fas exclaimed, staring at the smoldering camera. "Those Jedi and their crazy tricks. Can I fix you a nice meal, my lovely boy?" 

Finn's eyes widened and he took off running to the air strip. 


	40. Slamming the Door Behind Them

"I saw him Rose. I saw him with my own eyes. Kylo Ren is _alive_."

Rose bit her lip. Poe had forbidden her from telling anyone Ben was helping them. Plus Rose genuinely liked him. "You shouldn't be spying on Rey." Rose scolded.

Finn slowly took in Rose's nonchalance and nervous smile. "You knew! You've known about him." 

"He's not Kylo Ren anymore. He’s Ben Solo, Leia’s son. He isn't dangerous."

"Not dangerous? Are - are you listening to yourself, Rose? Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order?" Finn sneered. "All of a sudden, Kylo Ren is harmless? He was fucking Rey. I saw it with my own two eyes. He was telling her he loved her, over and over."

Rose's lip curled reflexively at the kink of the situation. "Gods Finn, what were you doing - watching Rey have sex from behind a tree?"

"It was a trash can."

Rose recoiled. 

"I had a video of them fucking until he shot lightning out of his kriffing hands and fried the camera."

Poe stormed into Rose's office, slamming the door behind him. "What the fuck, Finn? You interrupted my meeting with the Governor of Coruscant to tell me you saw Rey having sex with Kylo Ren? I had the speaker on! I cannot tell you how embarrassing that was?"

"Sorry man, but this Kylo Ren we're talking about."

"Listen, I do _not_ want to hear about Kylo Ren! I do not want to hear about Rey's sex life. I want you to process the 619 ex-troopers who are sitting around on the base on Endor." He glared at Finn. "Get the fuck out of here!"

Finn shook his head, furiously. "I can't believe you two. Fucking oblivious! You're blind!" He slammed the door behind him so hard, the floor shook.

"Dear Gods, Rose. What the hell I am supposed to do with Finn? Can I sedate him? Can I just shoot him in the leg or something!"

"Kylo - I mean Ben has been a big help." She wanted to say that he was her best friend but it seemed like bad timing.

Poe nodded. "Ben gave us the call numbers of eight of the Knights ships. We're starting to track them when they exit hyperspace. One of them landed on Batuu at the Black Spire Outpost 10 minutes ago. We're sending troops there as we speak. They should be there within the hour."

"Shit! That's awesome." Rose thought of the damage the Knight's had on Hanger 5. "I mean, I hope nobody gets hurt."


	41. Moth to a Flame

Poe staggered into his office, the massive tension almost knocking him over. 

"Bad day?" Sola Kenobi was standing at the window. He admired how the light from the window shone through her her loose grey tunic, revealing her alluring petite figure. A amber stone hanging around her neck seemed to almost glow. 

Poe laughed in disbelief. "I have _never_ been happier to see anyone in my life." 

Sola smiled at him, confused. "Why? Oh no, do you have another headache?"

He stepped closer, her soothing energy drawing him in. "Not just a headache. Everything is wrong. Absolutely everything."  
  


Sola studied Poe from head to toe. The handsome pilot was born to be a leader. When Leia had asked her to watch over him, she had been initially repelled by his flirtatious personality. Maybe it was purely a coincidence Poe had kissed her sister Jinn long ago. Sola imagined it was more likely that Poe had kissed everyone. She tilted her head and considered whether it bothered her that he was promiscuous. She studied the issue from several angles and concluded it didn’t bother her in the least.   
  


But did she care about him romantically? Not yet. But she was beginning to. Sola wasn’t like her sister Swans with her hopeless devotion to Qui-Gon but she also wasn’t like Starlings with her utter disinterest in romantic partnerships. Sola liked the way Poe’s face completely changed when he smiled. His service record was commendable with the exception of his mutiny and history of disobeying direct orders. She liked the way his hair looked when it got messed up. She even liked his lack of preparation for meetings and the slightly hesitant way he spoke. 

Sola put her hands to Poe’s temples. A wave of relaxation washed over him. He exhaled slowly. "Ambassador Sola, I could get used to this." He stared helplessly into her warm brown eyes. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this unexpected visit?" 

"No reason. I was in the neighborhood." She straightened his collar. 

Poe inhaled Sola's perfume. She smelled like springtime. "You don't fly in or out. I checked the flight manifests." 

"Oh, did you now?" She smiled, amused. 

"How do you - "

"I travel between worlds. There are some shortcuts."

Poe was trying hard not to touch her but he was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. His hand brushed hers slowly until their fingers entwined. 

"Sola, do you want to get married?" _Did he say that out loud?_ He reflexively touched his mother's ring he wore on a chain around his neck. 

Her laugh warmed his heart like a sky filled with sunshine. "Marry you? Poe, I hardly know you!"

"Gods, your smile." He stared at her open mouthed. 

Warmth radiated from her like strong alcohol spreading through his entire body. He could almost taste her lips. 

"Why are you so tense, Poe?" She touched the back of his neck and was delighted to see him shudder at her touch. He blinked hard.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." He couldn't help smiling as he stared at her. She looked so delicate with her light blond hair and large brown eyes.

“One of my generals has been spying on Rey and her boyfriend.” 

Poe didn't notice as Sola's face fell sharply. “Ben?!”

“Oh, you know about him?” Poe murmured blissfully as he lifted her hand to his lips.

Over her 8 years serving a Padawan to Mace Windu, Sola strove to control her lightning quick temper and smoldering rage. For the first years after her training, she had served as security guard for Resistance leaders. The incident that ended her post had demonstrated that her temper still needed work.

Poe continued. "And we just received a report that one of the Knights of Ren showed up at the Black Rim Medical Crisis Center. I guess that's good news since we can track them. We have troops on their way to intercept them." Poe absentmindedly pulled up a report on his laptop.

"Black Rim Medical Crisis Center?! Jinn!" Sola turned to look at the coordinates on his computer. "If anyone hurts hair on my sister’s head, I will hang them upside down and drain every single drop of blood from their body."

Poe tilted his head in confusion. "What did you say?" _Did she just say something about draining blood? That didn’t make sense._

Sola ripped the lightsaber from her belt. "See you later Poe. Good luck with your headache."

Before he could open his mouth to ask a question, she was gone. The sweet scent of springtime hung in the air like a dream.


	42. A Soldier Returns

Unogra tapped lightly on the door to examining room 4.

Jinn looked up to see her scruffy haired soldier leaning against the door frame. The elderly Blutopian nurse beamed happily behind him, giving her a thumbs up.

Unogra cleared his throat theatrically. ”Jinn, this is Wipolo Nagg.”

“Hello J I N N.” He was dazzling in flight suit, field jacket and rugged boots.

Jinn tucked a lock of red hair behind her ear, suddenly self conscious at her appearance. She hadn’t bothered to braid her hair that morning. Her eyes darted around the room, searching for a reflective surface. _Where the hell was her lipstick?_

“I was hoping you might want to go for a walk.” He turned to Unogra. “If your boss is ok with it.”

Despite his advanced years Unogra giggled like a school boy.

->

  
Jinn couldn’t help but stare at her soldier as they walked into the ancient forest. The sunlight warmed his bronze skin, a smile flickered at the corners of his wide full lips. He was hers. She imagined sitting down at her parent’s dinner table with him by her side. He was in the Resistance and a capable force user. Her parents would adore him. Jinn’s heart floated with joy. He was hers, hers, hers. He was perfect.

She was overwhelmed by her feelings for him. His tall frame, bent by insecurity. His long eyelashes, the strange bear fur-like texture of his messy hair. Hers, hers, hers. 

_How could anyone be so perfect?_

They ventured off the trail, toward a small creek.

“I was worried when you left.” Jinn looked up at him, recalling his strong wide shoulders looked when he’d been stripped bare in the examining room.

“I’m sorry about that. I had to get back to my team. But I came back as soon as I could slip away.” He grinned playfully.

“Are you here on a mission here?”

“I came to ask you about the training center for Force users. Where did you say it was again?” 

“I didn’t say where it was.“ She frowned, irritated he had come for information instead of to see her.

“Is the location a secret?”

“No, of course not.”

Wipolo offered is hand as they stepped over a fall limb.

As soon as her fingertips made contact with his skin, she knew. This was not Wipolo Nagg.   
  
_Damn it all to hell._

She froze her face in a smile. Whatever this life form was, it was a Force user advanced enough to sustain appearance transformation.   
  
_Damn it, damn it, damn it._

Jinn walked along the creek, hopping from rock to rock trying to act relaxed.

The soldier dipped the tip of his boot into the water. Jinn scrambled to take the high ground, her early training guiding her thoughts.

”Where is Wipolo Nagg?”

The soldier turned to her, startled “I’m Wipolo Nagg. I’m a gunner-“ He started to chuckle. “Gunner?” The soldier transformed his appearance into a Knight of Ren, clad in what appeared to be an executioners mask and black body armor. “I mean, what does that even mean? Does he _shoot_ guns?”

A second Knight uncloaked himself, laughing. “Maybe he cleans guns?”

“What did you do with Wipolo?!”

“Watch your tone of voice, sweetheart.” 

Jinn grabbed her lightsaber. 

“Whoa, look at that.” The Knights snickered. “Oh honey, lightsabers are for big kids.”

“Don’t hurt yourself, Cherry.” The second Knight cooed.

“Do you want to keep her for ourselves or share her with the other guys?”

“Oh, she’s just a little snack. When we’re done with her, we can hand her off to those cultists. Let ‘em recharge their cells on her.”

The second Knight shuddered. “Those blue culty fuckers are so gross.” 

“Well, they’re part of the plan.”

Jinn listened closely.

“We need to get moving and bag some more troopers. Want me to shoot her or are you gonna fuck her first?”

Jinn switched her blue lightsaber on. “Tell me where Wipolo is now!”

“He’s dead little cherry pop.”

“You’re lying. I can sense your deception.” Jinn’s voice sounded more desperate than she intended.

“Give it up, honey. There’s two of us. Who do you think you are?”

“I’m a Kenobi” Jinn replied simply. 


	43. Two

Worried about Jinn’s gentle nature and preference for civilized dueling, Obi-Wan had insisted his daughter train with Qui Gon Jinn and Mace Windu before venturing to the Outerworld. She trained in Juyo, the most aggressive fighting style, with Mace Windu and mindfulness in combat with Qui Gon. 

Remembering Qui Gon’s training, Jinn studied her surroundings, her opponents and her own emotions. The Knights were large, muscular men with armor that rivaled anything she’d seen in books. She had heard the Knights were not well trained but she knew better than to rely on second hand intelligence.

Mace had taught Jinn to fight defensively. She took a two-handed stance, optimal for aggressive combat. The taller Knight stepped forward with a long Beskar blade. He let the ax head drop all the way down before heaving it over his head at Jinn. She shifted out of the way. The knight twisted his grip and reversed back to swing at her horizontally. She blocked his blow but it threw her off balance. Anticipating his next move, Jinn answered back from a higher angle that kept her from being knocked over.

Jinn smiled, thinking Qui Gon would have something to say about the Knight’s oversized weapon and how comically inappropriate it was in this landscape. Nothing was funny to the tall Knight who hauled his weapon back and swung at Jinn’s waist. Jinn used Mace’s two-handed stance to block from below, almost knocking the heavy weapon out of the Knight’s hands. 

The second Knight stepped forward with a multi-barrel plasma bolt rifle. “Stand back, I’m gonna shoot her!”

Sola materialized beside Jinn. “Lay down your weapons!” She barked at the Knights.

Jinn smiled gratefully at her sister. Sola hated to miss a battle. She had watched her sister duel countless times in the Netherworld but this was her first time seeing her little sister against a real world opponent. 

The Knight with the rifle whistled at Sola. “Well look at that. I do like blonds.” He fired round upon round of plasma bolts at the pair.

Sola and Jinn blocked them with their sabers. The taller Knight advanced on them, swinging his ax at them from above. Sola ducked him and grinned happily as his blade lodged into the creek bed. Sola swung at his arm, burning a line into his armor. As he struggled to free his blade, Sola attacked again. She carefully seared off the Knight’s pinky finger. 

“Gotcha.” Sola yelled over the ringing blasts of the plasma rifle. She grinned as the Knight howled in pain. “How many fingers would you like to lose today?” She advanced, burning the saber into his shoulder. “Or shall I save time and take off your whole arm?”

The Knight screamed in agony and turned to run. Sola struck his back and shins as he tore off into the forest. “That’s to remember me by, you fucking coward!”

The second Knight cloaked himself and disappeared, the sound of his plasma bolts echoing in the silent forest.

A sob escaped Jinn. Sola turned to her in surprise. “Did they hurt you?”

“They have _my_ soldier. They have Wipolo.”

Sola studied her distraught sister. She swallowed hard seeing Jinn’s distress. She put her arms around her beloved sister. Patting her back as she cried.

“Those evil bastards have him. I know they do. He can’t be OK. They were talking about cultists. They had his memories, they knew what we talked about.” Jinn cried mournfully. 

Sola knew full well that her Jinn would stop at nothing to find this man she loved. “This is a serious complication.”


	44. Post Knights

Unogra brought Sola and Jinn tall glasses of ice water in examination room 4. Jinn lay on the examining room table, staring at the ceiling.

“They said something about cultists. They wanted to know about the training place Rey is setting up. There was something about Troopers. Maybe Dad knows what’s going on.”

“You won’t tell him I was here, will you?” Sola’s voice was edged with fear.

“Of course I have to tell him. I was in danger. You were defending me. That’s ok. You’re allowed.”

Sola was actually not allowed. As a teenage Padawan she and Mace had broken protocol and traveled to his home world of Haruun Kal. Without clearance from the Jedi Council of the Netherworld, they intervened when First Order scouts landed seeking to harvest the valuable local fungi. Intent on protecting the planet’s already small population, Mace and Sola savagely killed the First Order invaders. 

Unfortunately, a video of the attack made its way to the holonet. On the video, Sola beheaded a well known first Order General on camera. Sola had been subsequently banned from seeking conflict by the Jedi Council and reassigned to retrain in a more peaceful field. 

Jinn shivered. “Those Knights knew about me. About what Wipolo and I talked about. They must have him. What if they tortured him? I don’t know what to do.”

Sola’s heart broke, watching Jinn weep. Her sister became permanently attached to those she loved. Obi-Wan had sought out Barriss Offee to teach Jinn to be a healer after Jinn had resurrected the family pet porg from death one too many times. The discipline had given her perspective on life and death but it had not diminished her devoted nature in any way. Like Padme, she bonded quickly and profounded with those she cared for.

“I need him to be OK Sola. I need him. I love him.”

“I know.” Sola didn’t exactly understand loving a stranger but she could tell Jinn was seriously distraught. 

“He’s not ok. I can feel it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted Obi-Wan's daughters to seem perfect at first and then, as their personalities emerge, become stranger and more dimensional. Jinn resurrecting a dead pet, her happy obsession with her soldier...
> 
> This picture was my inspiration for Jinn:  
> https://static.fabrik.io/u28/5994e77855732faa.jpg?auto=format&lossless=1&w=2880&h=5120&fit=max&s=a38ac035076c53211ded67f3560ca8ea
> 
> Writing Sola is fun. I wanted to have a female character who was a bit unhinged, like someone you'd find in a Tarantino movie. Since she was Mace Windu's Padawan, beheading made sense.


	45. Cooling Blood

“I’m not doing this.” Finn sat up in bed. He never meant to let Manzuzuu out of her cell in the first place but it just kept happening. He hoped no one had noticed her in his room at all hours of the day. She was unpleasant but he had a hard time saying no to her. 

She stretched out on his bunk, stroking his muscular shoulder. “We want the same thing: Kylo Ren.”

“We know where he is. It’s not impossible to get him.”

Manzuzuu ran her ragged fingers along Finn’s jawline. “How well did it go when you tried to get a video of him and your little Jedi wannabe? You saw him fucking her and you almost cried. Didn’t you, Finn?”

“He shot force lightning at me.”

Manzuzuu shivered thinking about it. Her Kylo Ren was showing his dark side powers. Powerful and vicious and soon to be back where he belonged.

“We just want a corpse or two, Finn. It’s really not a lot to ask.” Manzuzuu countered. “In reality, nobody is going to miss them. They’re just going to waste.’ She tickled the curly hair on Finn’s chest. “I just need a little sweetness for me and you get rid of that awful Kylo Ren.” 

Finn lurched away from her. “I thought you said you were going to kill him.”

“It will be _like_ killing him. Some people can simply be executed and some need to be killed in a more meaningful way.”

“I don’t know what that means.” Finn’s instinct told him no but there was something in the way Manzuzuu spoke that made him want to go along with whatever she was saying. 

Manzuzuu patted him on the head. “It’s best you don’t understand me, Finn. Did you bring me the Comm Link I asked for?”

He handed it to her. “Don’t let anyone see this.” 

“I’d never do that,” she purred. “Now can you bring me some dinner? Something soft. You know I don’t like chewing.”

As soon as Finn left, Manzuzuu punched the number she’d saved in her pocket. It had been so long that the numbers had faded.

A Knight growled a greeting at her.

“It’s Manzuzuu checking in. We have a big fish on the line.” She paused listening. “No. I’m not telling you where he is without a deal. I want an initial order of 200 hundred and then regular delivery of 50 a week.” She rolled back on Finn’s comfortable bed. “You’ll keep it up as long as you want to your Supreme Leader.” She clicked the Comm Link off and licked her lips. She could almost taste blood cooling in her mouth.


	46. Insomniac

While Poe slept, Sola went through his medicine cabinet. She sniffed his arsonsel of colognes, the ones she disliked went directly into the garbage chute. She changed the blade in his razor and pitched his hair pomade. She had decided she preferred his hair wind blown.

When Leia had asked Sola to watch over Poe, it had been a casual suggestion to support the young pilot who would someday become a leader. Sola, on the other hand, took the suggestion on face value and had been watching Poe every night while he slept.

She took her work seriously, keeping track of the many details of Poe’s life. She quietly moved on to his closet, eliminating unflattering shirts and socks with holes.

 _How many times did she have to throw out the same hideous tank top?_ He must have a secret stash of them. 

When she was satisfied with matters related to his appearance, she moved onto correcting his reports. They were riddled with spelling and strategic errors - this was her favorite part of the job. She poured over every detail of every document. Trade federation tensions, proposed fuel supply chain security measures, space port prioritizations...

->

  
Poe Dameron lay in bed, his brain bouncing from problem to problem. Lately, his sleep patterns had become stable - a surprising and much needed break from a lifetime of insomnia. He attributed the recent change to his age or perhaps the years of utter exhaustion had finally caught up with him.

As he tossed and turned, the freighters on Exegol were bothering him. Something about them seemed very wrong. One or two freighters could be pirates but the growing number was troubling. He fought against a wave of sleep and rolled over to look at the files on his nightstand. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sola across the room from him with her feet propped up and a folder on her lap. He must be dreaming?

“Ambassador Sola, what - what are you doing here?”

“Not much. Reading your notes on Exegol.”

He looked down, checking to make sure he’d worn boxers to sleep. “No, I mean why-why are you in my room?”

“I’m watching you sleep.”

“WHAT?!”

“I do it every night. Well not when you have guests. It’s been quiet on that front lately.”

“Uh.” 

“Don’t be embarrassed. An active sex drive is a sign of good health.” She cast him a sultry look. “I don’t stay to watch if that’s what you’re wondering. I’m a bit old fashioned.”

“I - I don’t understand.” Poe stammered “Why are you here?”

“Oh, 2 months ago, Leia asked me to watch over you. She wanted to make sure you were doing well but I realized you had insomnia. I’m skilled at helping people sleep.”

“L-L-Leia Organa?”

“She’s my sister.”

Poe blinked back confusion. “Leia doesn’t have a sister.” He was wide awake now. “Wait - who are you?”

”I’m Sola Kenobi.” She stated simply. 

Was she even real? He recalled her words about traveling between dimensions. ”Are you a ghost?”

“I am not dead!” Her voice was snippy.

Sola stood up and approached him. In the moonlight, she was more beautiful than ever. Her blond hair was tucked behind her ears. With thick eyebrows and wide mouth she had an androgynous appearance That drove him crazy.

Poe told himself that he should be alarmed by her intrusion but he couldn’t bring himself to be anything but thrilled to see her. He shifted the blankets to hide his arousal. “You’re the reason I’ve been able to sleep?” 

Sola nodded, extremely pleased with herself. As a teenager, she had been reprimanded by the Jedi Council for excessive and unnecessary violence. She had been compelled to retrain as a Force Healer under Ki-Adi-Mundi, specializing in soothing troubled minds. Recently she had accepted a post as the assistant to the anxious and possibly alcoholic Naboo Ambassador. She disliked the job immensely and had been thrilled when Leia had asked her to discreetly watch over Poe.

Sola knew her sister’s real intention was to cultivate a relationship between the two. She had examined the situation from every angle and found that she liked the idea immensely.

Sola touched the healing crystal her father had given her to help control her temper. Soft amber light shone against the darkness. She sat on the edge of his bed. Her fingers lightly skimmed through Poe’s hair, mussing it up the way she liked best.   
  


He inhaled through his nose sharply. Her touch effected his entire body, sending waves of warmth all the way down to his toes.

Sola couldn’t pretend that she was immune to him. His serious expression was so endearing, she couldn’t help but return his smile. His eyes searched her face and she wondered what it would feel like to kiss him.

“Would you like me to lay down beside you?” Without waiting for him to respond, she slid beside him on top of the bedspread.   
  


The spinning wheels in his brain were slowing down. He smiled at her in awe. “I can’t believe you’re really here.” He whispered. “It’s so good to be next to you.” He reached out to trace the lines of her beautiful cheekbones.

“I feel like I’ve done quite well. You haven’t noticed my presence until now.”

“Gods, it feels so good to be near you.” He wanted to apologize for sleeping with the other ambassador from Naboo, he wanted to ask how Leia could be her sister, there were so many things he wanted to say. He felt his consciousness slipping sideways.

When Sola lay down next to him, his body instinctively curled around her small frame. “Will you please marry me?” He managed to whisper before he instantly fell into a deep sleep.

Sola laughed softly and allowed herself to close her eyes. It wouldn’t hurt to fall asleep beside him once in awhile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ewan McGregor's daughter, Esther, was my inspiration for the character of Sola. I wanted to have a love interest for Poe that terrified him. 
> 
> https://i.ytimg.com/vi/sfxIcKm3huE/maxresdefault.jpg
> 
> https://ecelebritymirror.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Esther-Rose-McGregors-sister-Clara-Mathilde-McGregor.jpg


	47. Off Base

Wipolo Nagg shivered in fear. Twelve hours ago he had volunteered for a quick run to transfer Sith Eternal Cultists to Exegol. Now he was their prisoner.

->

This mission was supposed to give him the 4 hours he needed for his official flight crew status. He’d left his application paperwork with Captain Conunda of the Fortitude. She had entered him into the system that morning and promised he would have his new rank when he returned to base. In the days after he’d met Jinn, he’d volunteered for every mission he could. Today, he would finally have off-base privileges and enough credits for a trip back to The Black Rim Outpost see Jinn. 

She had been on his mind as he’d helped load boxes. Quiet Jinn with the flashing blue eyes and red hair. Beautiful Jinn with the power to heal and the patience to teach. Sweet Jinn who had kissed his forehead and saved his life. Jedi Jinn Kenobi, who didn’t mind that Wipolo was force sensitive.  
  


Wipolo had always been considered odd. He could hear other things he shouldn’t like illness, sadness or decay. Wipolo tried to keep his distance from others, he felt helpless when he could sense someone near him was unwell. His ability to hear the ricocheting notes of emotion made his teachers and classmates uncomfortable. Even when he had volunteered for the Resistance, commanding officials had been uneasy around him and steered him toward maintenance and ground crew. 

When the Fortitude was chosen to support the ground mission on Exegol, Wipolo had overheard Captain Conunda complain of being understaffed. He had grabbed an abandoned flight suit and volunteered on the spot. It had all happened so quickly, no one had realized he didn’t have the rank to be on a flight crew.

He had been assigned the job of gunner and had done well taking care of his injured crew mates, earning praise from Captain Conunda. Eventually she realized he had no business being on a ship when he’d come to empty the trash cans in her office. When he had confessed to her, she had kindly offered him the chance to earn the flight suit he had stolen. 

Wipolo thought about what Jinn had told him about the training center on Ajan Kloss. Wipolo wondered if his abilities might actually be helpful there. He wanted to be worthy of Jinn. He wanted to learn from her and have the chance to be near her.

He had been dreaming of starting a new life as he helped Finn corral the creepy blue cultist prisoners to the main transport level. His ability to sense decay was overwhelmed. He draped a scarf around his face and forced himself to breathe through his mouth.   
  


He made the mistake of making eye contact with the young Cultist woman who seemed to be in charge.

“What the hell are you looking at?” She snapped.

Wipolo averted his eyes. The cultists were becoming increasingly agitated since they’d taken off. Finn had delivered some extremely large boxes to them early on and things had gotten progressively stranger since. The smoke detectors kept going off and he’d heard chanting. 

He had noticed the smell of decay was spreading. He felt nauseated and was about to ask Finn if he could take a break from loading crates when he felt something strange slip around his neck. For a split second, before he passed out, he saw Finn open a crate full of dead bodies. The yellow tags around the pale lifeless toes was the last thing he saw.

->

 _Jinn!_ He tried to reach out to her force. His head fell back, defeated. He couldn’t even reach out to the crew mates who lay next to him hooked up to med units. He tried to make sense of his location. Was he on a freighter? It looked like a hospital. Rows of empty beds filled the space. He caught sight of a blue skinned Sith Eternal Cultist before the a wave of sedation flattened his senses. Before he could blink, he was unconscious again. 


	48. On Base

Yavin 4 was on high alert. The Fortitude, a transport hauler, had been hijacked with 40 Sith Eternal Cultists on board. The ship's small crew had registered a mission number that didn't match up with anything in the system. The security cameras had been tampered with before the crew boarded.

Finn, who had been in charge of the cultist's security, had surmised that the cultists must have stolen away on board and overthrown the crew once they were off base. It was suspected that a young cultist named Manzuzuu was leading them. The ship's tracking data and call numbers had been erased. 

Rose hurried into Beaumont Finn's office to find him looking at a picture of her on the Holonet. She giggled as he scrambled to close the file. "We're meeting in your office today?"

"No, Poe is using conference room."

→→

Rey glared at Finn across the conference table. "Long time, no see."

Finn sneered. "I've seen _more_ than enough of you." His voice dropped to a taunting, girlish whisper. " _I'm yours Ben. Only Yours."_

Rey moved to sit down beside Beaumont.

"Tell me about these cultists professor."

He sat up with a smile. "Religious extremism has always made for fascinating study."

Poe's voice was commanding. "I want to know about these freaks who took our ship. They’re Sith Eternal?"

"It would be a mistake to think of the Sith Eternal as one group. It’s an umbrella term we outsiders use to describe what is actually a myriad of sects."

"What _sect_ is on this base?"

"What we have is the native, mainly human, population. There were heavily influenced by surviving members of the The Acolytes of the Beyond. Dark Side fanatics. Lots of alchemists for whatever that’s worth. They’re absolutely bizarre. Their goal was communion with fallen Sith Masters. Name a Sith in history and there is splinter sect that worships them. Our little blue friends are fond of Darth Ruin. They why they use the blue powder."

Rose coughed. "That’s makeup?"

"Ruin was real Grade A dick."

Rey laughed. Finn stood up and walked out. 

Beaumont's eyes followed Finn's departure but he didn't pause. "The Sith Eternal cultists, the force sensitive ones who were most fiercely devoted to Palpatine seemed to disappear with him. Is that correct, Rey?

Rey nodded, remembering the legions of worshippers who shattered apart when Palpatine died.

"Over the years, Palpatine tapped into Darth Ruin's followers. He fed their fetishism, granting them Sith relics and texts allegedly by Ruin. Palpatine compelled them to fill out Exegol’s military ranks. Generations of these cultists raised their children to revere the dark side of the Force and blindly follow the First Order.

Poe stopped him. "I’m sorry but the cultists I’ve seen don’t exactly look like soldiers."

Beaumont shrugged. "Well, suicide bomber pilots don’t need washboard abs. They have been indoctrinated since birth that religion comes first. But, here's where it gets interesting -" Beaumont wagged a finger gingerly. "They crave a figure head. Despite a multiplicity of differences, most cult members have a obsessive devotion to a person. Without Palpatine, it appears our blue friends are looking to Kylo Ren. Off the record, I know he exists but Rose said not to mention him in the present tense, if possible. The Ruin cultists universally worship Vader. So, besides being a decedent, I believe they are partial to the idea of Kylo Ren because of his theatricality reminds them of Vader. The capes and helmets, aberrant and mysterious. Many continue to see him as the inheritor of the Sith legacy.

"But Kylo, I mean Ben Solo is a defector." Rose pointed out diplomatically.

"I doubt they’d make a distinction based on his current loyalties. In their skewed vision, you _are_ your bloodline."

Rey felt sick wondering if they knew about her bloodline. 

Rey’s voice sounded far away. “Finn brought one of them to talk to Ben on Ajan Kloss.” 

“Well, that’s not good." Poe's voice was sharp. 

"Did - do you think he told the cultists about my connection to the Emperor?” Rey whispered.

“No idea. I can’t say that I know Finn anymore. He was my friend." Rose said unhappily.

Beaumont winced before saying what needed to be said. "I - I think that if the cultists knew who you were, they would have come for you directly. I surmise that Finn, for whatever reason, did not tell them."

“When he found out I was a Palpatine, it was like a light went out in his eyes.” Rey said sadly.

Poe stood up, starting to pace. "I need to know where you think those cultists went with our soldiers." He looked around the room at the anxious faces. "And I need to know if you all agree that Finn was involved."

→→

Finn watched the security cameras of the detention levels. He went over Manzuzuu's instructions in his head. He needed to wait for her signal. Until then, he would be the model soldier. He nodded when Poe entered. 

"Why did you leave the meeting?"

"I couldn't stand being in the same room as that traitor." Finn hissed.

"Are you talking about Rey?" Poe asked carefully.

Finn hurled a coffee cup at the wall. The plastic cup bounced across the room, cracking on one side. "You don't care that she is shacking up with our enemy? A Palpatine and a Sith lord just fucking away on Arjan Kloss. Don't you care that this is happening right under your nose? What are you going to say when they rise up and -"

Poe interrupted. "What? Rise up and do what exactly? Let a fucking sith cultist out of her cell like you did? Finn, I have you on security tape taking her to your room. And then somehow, magically, 40 of those freakers just happen to disappear with the Fortitude? That's on you, Finn! You're trying to get me to be pissed off about what Rey and Ben Solo _might_ do?! I'm more concerned about what _you're_ doing right now!"

Finn leveled his eyes at Poe. "Are you accusing me of something?"

Poe shook his head sadly. "You're a commanding officer and my friend. Finn, I'm gonna assume you made some kind of mistake. I've giving you 24 hours to get that ship back here. If you don't, then I am going to accuse you formally and you'll have to answer before the generals." He threw away the broken coffee cup on his way out of the room.


	49. Another Round

It hadn’t taken much effort for the Knights of Ren to abduct Ambassador Carm Pille from Naboo. Ap'Lek and Kuruk had found her by tracking her bar-hopping posts on her Holovid account. She was on her fifth drink, snapping pics of herself when Ap’Lek had approached her. He had used his powers to transform his appearance into an off-duty Kylo Ren. He knew it was a poor choice as his deep emotional connection to Kylo lessened his ability to maintain the disguise. 

Kylo had always been his favorite transformation disguise. His fellow Knights joked that Ap’Lek was in love with the Supreme Leader. He never corrected them because the truth was even more embarrassing. He totally idolized Kylo. Ap’Lek copied his hairstyle, clothing and imitated his mannerisms in private. The former Supreme Leader had never used his own power to pick up women so why shouldn’t Ap’Lek get to have some fun with it? 

Ap’Lek sidled up to the Ambassador, gesturing smoothly to the bartender to bring them another round. “Ambassador Carm Pille?!"

The pretty diplomat set down her datapad reluctantly. "Hello?"

Clutching his heart dramatically, Ap’Lek pretended to be devastated. "You don’t you remember me? I'm Afton Rourk? We met on Yavin 4? Don’t say you don’t recognize me! You’re breaking my heart.” 

She was completely apologetic and quickly began to flirt. She touched his arm while she tossed back her drink. He helped her snap pictures and tried to smile patiently as she carefully applied filters before posting. Ap’Lek tapped his foot, nervously. He could feel his appearance alteration abilities slipping. He whispered in the Ambassador’s ear, suggesting they could enjoy some privacy at a more exclusive bar and, thankfully, she was all for it.

Once outside, he used his stun gun to incapacitate her. Now the fun could really start.

Ap’Lek wanted two pieces of information from her: the location of Kylo Ren and how to find her little witch of an assistant, Sola Kenobi. 

He and Kuruk slung arms around Carm as they carried her toward the upscale hotel suite they'd rented. They had tipped the hotel clerk extra to book them in a quiet room with no one on either side. The unconscious Ambassador's strappy gold sandals drug along the carpet of the lobby and Kuruk winked playfully at the front desk clerk who didn't look up from his videogame.

Decorated in shades of crimson and navy, the room was luxurious. Various instruments of torture had been carefully arranged on the satin bedspread for full effect. Ap’Lek trembled in anticipation. He positioned himself so he could view himself, as Kylo, when the inquisition began.

After all their preparations, the interrogation was a joke. When she regained consciousness in their hotel suite, the Ambassador didn’t seem to notice the change in Ap’Lek’s physical appearance. Nor did Kuruk’s presence trouble her in the least. Their impressive array of torture devices turned out to be unnecessary. They didn’t even have to threaten her to get her to talk, Ap’Lek simply poured her another drink and let the conversation flow.

Unfortunately, she didn’t know much of anything. Despite having slept with General Poe Dameron, Ambassador Pille had no idea where Rey was starting her training center for force users. She had no clue if Kylo Ren was alive or even that he’d been involved in the Battle on Exegol.

Ap’Lek knew that if Kylo Ren was among the living, he would not be far from that little rebel bitch. Over the past year, the Knights had watched Kylo fall under Rey's spell. None of them could understand the appeal. Ap’Lek had seen her fight and was not impressed. Kylo should have been able to destroy her. Over and over again, he had allowed her to instigate their battles and had never once truly tried to hurt her.

When the Emperor had gone dark, Kylo was rumored to have died with him. Their spy network reported that his ship had been abandoned on Exegol. But there were new reports that he had been sighted on Yavin 4. If they could find him, they wouldn’t have to concede to all Manzuzuu’s bizarre demands for corpses. They wanted to believe the cultist’s promises about using Kylo to raise Siths from the dead. Darth Ruin sounded impressive. It would be helpful to have a Sith Leader in play. But if the damn Cultists couldn’t give them a Sith Lord, they could at least give them Kylo.

Ap’Lek couldn’t wait for the Supreme Leader’s return. Everything could go back to the way it had been. The First Order was in ruins but that hardly mattered. They would miss the unlimited funding but the Knights operated independently. They had their own agenda.

The information they extracted from the Ambassador about her assistant, Sola, turned out to be more useful. Confusing but useful.

If Carme Pille was to be believed, her assistant Sola was some kind of interdimensional being. Not only would they _not_ be able to track down her whereabouts, Ap’Lek was starting to wonder if Sola was actually a ghost.

They also learned Sola was the teenage Decapitator holonet sensation from 7 years ago. It was a disconcerting revelation but not entirely surprising. Ambassador Pille happily divulged that Sola wore a crystal necklace to control her temper. The crystal was the _most_ helpful information Carm Pille had to offer. She told them Sola’s crystal was a chip out of the Healing Crystals of Fire from the old Jedi Temple on Coruscant. Oddly, the Ambassador actually claimed to know where more of the crystals were housed. In an abandoned house on the desert planet of Tatooine. 

After hours of searching the barren desert, the Knights entered Obi-Wan’s house under cover of darkness. When they entered the large open room, the amber crystals shone from the floor like beacons. Although the stones were easy to remove from their settings, Ap’Lek and Kuruk found themselves moving at a snail’s pace. They fell asleep twice in the process. When the stones were together in the metal chest they’d brought, they’d had to slowly push it along the floor with their weapons. The concentration of the stones together produced a numbing effect. After Kuruk carried the stones to the cargo bay of their ship, he passed out immediately.


	50. Crossing Over

→ →

Obi-Wan had always enjoyed visiting Jinn at work. He often used food as an excuse to visit the Black Spires Medical Crisis Center. On slow days, he brought cookies or sticky cardamon rolls. Her Blutopian coworkers always fussed over him, complimenting his choice in sweets, his smile, his beard. He sensed the elderly Unogra recognized him but the gentle soul was far too polite to call attention to the fact that Obi-Wan Kenobi had been dead for 35 years.

Today, Obi-Wan arrived at the clinic armed with a box of pink saffron cupcakes. He knew the delicacies were Onogra's favorite and he delighted when the Blutopian's dry, gray tentacles quivered with joy. Jinn was too preoccupied with her missing soldier to be much use to anyone. Obi-Wan found her sitting alone, outside on the medical center’s smoking patio. Her red hair was pulled back tightly from her face, her face was uncharacteristically bare of makeup. She looked so much like her mother when she was sad, her round lips curved downward.

He closed the door to the patio quickly, glad that her coworkers were too preoccupied to notice his daughter's strange activity. He was profoundly troubled but willed himself not to intervene. Jinn was resurrecting, an activity her Master had expressly forbidden. she taken down the frame filled with butterfly specimens that usually hung in her examining room. One by one, she removed the pins from the butterflies and then breathed them back to life. 

Obi-Wan put a comforting hand on Jinn's shoulder and whispered, "What are you doing Jinn?"

"Master Windu gave me these butterflies on Life Day," Jinn said sadly. 

Obi-Wan recognized Mace’s handiwork. He and Padme had their own frame full of butterfly specimens they kept hidden in the back of their bedroom closet. The grisly frame full of dead insects had been a thoughtful gift but one he preferred not to look at on a daily basis.

“Resurrecting helps me when I’m anxious.” Jinn smiled warmly at her father as though this was the most natural thing in the world.

Obi-Wan flinched. “Sweetheart, we will scout more locations for your soldier.”

Jinn nodded, still pulling pins.


	51. Quiet as the Bloom of a Flower

The bed Rey shared with Ben was her home. She felt safer and more secure there than she had ever felt in her life. Ben was etching a mark on the wall to mark their 7th day together. Seeing it made her heart skip a beat. The marks meant everything to her. Ben understood how, in spite of her outer strength, there would always be parts of her that were broken. 

He took off his boots and glanced at her, she was wearing one of Poe’s old tank tops she’d found on the base. Her cheeks were flushed from the shower. He marveled at her. Emotions rolled over him. 

“I’m scared I’m going to wake up back in that cave on Exegol -” He couldn’t finish, his voice choked with emotion.

She held his hand and played back that moment in his memories. Her heart trembled in the moment when he realized healing her would cost him his life. “You knew it was going to kill you to bring me back? You never told me that.”

“I couldn’t - I couldn’t exist if you were gone. There would have been nothing for me.” He rocked forward, feeling the raw emotion from that moment. His fists clenched thinking of holding her lifeless body.

She pulled him to her, they lay with her head resting on his chest. “I’m scared every day will be our last. It will be like being back on Tatooine.” 

“It won’t. I promise, you won’t be alone,” he said with certainty thinking of the secret. Soon she would know but for now, the knowledge was his alone.

Ben would never tell anyone that he had known the moment his child had been conceived. He had felt a whisper through the Force, quiet as the bloom of a flower. She wasn’t a stranger to him, he could feel her force by his side. She would be reckless and brave and innately kind like her mother. He could feel her when he woke in the morning and her force energy hummed all day at the sound of her parent’s voices.

As he wrapped himself around Rey, he whispered softly in her ear. “We’re in this together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of my favorite chapters to write along with the chapter where Ben meets his Grandmother. Do you think it's weird for Ben to feel the his child's force before Rey?


	52. Just So Damn Attractive

When Ben leaned over to kiss her, Rey could feel his intensity deepening. The first brush of lips felt like a flash of heat. Her heart warmed with electricity. His wide hands gripped her hips, impatiently tugging her underwear off. Her senses reached out for the comforting pitter pat of rain. Rey pulled him on top of her, their bodies becoming one as lightning and thunder echoed in the distance. As he slid inside her, she could feel time slowing down, the strange sensory shift from Tatooine had followed them here. Her senses mixed with his, her breath and vision blurred with his. When he reached for her hands, she couldn't tell if she was moving her own fingers. 

Her orgasm was his. And as he reached further, trying hard not to cum, she opened herself to the cosmic force allowing space and time to flow around and through them both. Ben's eyes glazed over as he emptied into her, sending one word through their connection over and over again: _**Love, love, love...**_

When she finally fell asleep, Rey's heart held no loneliness, no regrets, no fear.

_**→ →** _

In the heavy fog of her dream, Rey heard a familiar voice calling out her name.

"Oh Rey, it’s so good to see you!"

Rey turned to see Leia with her arms outstretched. She burst into tears, folding herself into Leia’s familiar embrace.

"I've missed you so much." She choked out.

"Hush. Don't be sad. I gave my life for my son. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat."

"Thank you for sending Ben back. He said you did it to help me."

Leia chuckled. "Rey, you might not know this but Ben is quite a bit like his father. You can’t get them to do much of anything unless they think they’re saving somebody’s life."

Rey stepped back. "Wait - What?"

"They're both the reluctant hero type." Leia sighed. "That’s my type of guy, apparently. On Exegol, Ben finally took his first breaths free from the Emperor’s grasp. I - I mean the Jedi Council gave him a second chance because he had never really had a first chance at life."

As Leia spoke Rey could sense that she was in complete command of her surroundings. In life or in death Leia was a leader. "Are you telling me the Jedi Council wasn’t worried about me being a Palpatine?"

"Should we be?" Leia’s voice was neutral but her expression held real concern.

"No, of course not" Rey answered.

"I didn't think so. I told those cranky old bastards you could handle yourself." Leia drew herself up to her full height. "The deciding factor was that I - I mean, we The Jedi Council of the Netherworld couldn’t resist the prophecy." Leia smiled ruefully. "I usually hate that sort of thing but those Jedi prophecies are just so damn attractive."

"What are you talking about? What prophecy?"

"There will come a Jedi who will bring harmony and balance to the force. That’s you, my dear. _And_ the children you will carry into the world." She touched Rey's stomach.

Rey recoiled staring open-mouthed.

Leia smiled and smoothed Rey's hair. "Name the first one after Han, he’d like that."

_**→ →** _

Rey woke up gasping. She fumbled to turn on the bedside light.

Ben pulled the pillow over his face. "What the hell?"

"What do you need to sleep for?" Rey spat out, pulling the pillow off his head. "You’re supposed to be _dead!"_

"Why are you so mad?" Ben rolled over, dramatically covering his eyes.

"I dreamt about Leia."

Ben opened his eyes startled. "Me too." His glance shifted reflexively to Rey’s stomach 

"No! My gods, no!" Rey sat up, now fully awake. "No, no, no, no! This can’t be happening but it’s just my luck - I need to see a doctor!"


	53. A Strong One

Rey paced back and forth. Her forehead creased with worry. "This doesn’t make any sense. Jedi aren’t supposed to have family."

"We're the last of the Jedi. We can make our own rules." Ben watched her carefully.

"I'm supposed to start training Force users. How is this supposed to work?" 

He shook his head. "You said it yourself, you cannot wear the title of Jedi without changing its meaning."

"I _never_ said that!" Rey fumed.

"Well, maybe I made that up but if we’re what remains of Jedi: you, me, Obi-Wan’s daughters. And I’m not 100% sure they’re alive but whatever. We're not going to live like a bunch of monks in a monastery. This whole Force user situation is going to change with us."

Rey continued to pace. "Is this going to be some sort of thing where I get to have everything I’ve ever wanted and then it all gets yanked away to teach me a lesson?"

Ben tried to take her hand but she yanked it away. "We can’t look at it like that, you know what they said: Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate -"

"I am _not_ in the mood for Jedi riddles!" Rey stomped off into the forest. 

"See, you’re already angry! See, they were right," Ben called after her.

→ →

Rey walked toward the Mohsenian settlement.

As always, before she could get close to the naturally secretive community, Mas-Fas snuck up behind her. "Little Rey! How nice to see you! Are you hungry?"

Rey cleared her throat. "Ma-Fas, Do you have a moment?"

"Oooh ooh yes, is that fine little chunk of a boy, Finn with you? I saw him here the other day. He was running from me like a good man should." 

"No, I'm alone today. I-I was wondering if you could help me?"

"Oh yes, oh yes. Ma-Fas will help you with anything after you’re bringing me all this love rain." 

Rey set aside her embarrassment. "Ma-Fas, would you be able to tell if I was pregnant?"

Ma-Fas clapped her hands in excitement. "Yes, yes, yes!" She took Rey’s hand gently, sniffed her arms up and down. She sniffed her hair and laughed. "Oh my little Rey, you are with child." 

"Oh no." Rey gasped.

"Oh yes! And it is a strong one. Wiggling and bopping around. We’re you rolling beds with that big Finn boy?"

Rey didn’t respond. 

"Oh my, oh my! Noooo. It’s someone much soggier than that, isn’t it? It’s that dark Jedi boy who runs right into your soul. Oh, my little Rey. Are you OK?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originally had Rey going to the base to see Poe with the news but I thought it made more sense for her to stomp off to the proudly maternal Mohsenian. 
> 
> As always, curious if readers have any thoughts.


	54. Familiar

Ben watched Rey stomp away. He felt a familiar yearn and grabbed Rey's lightsaber.

He slashed savagely at a rotting tree trunk over and over, reducing it to chunks of scorched wood. It wasn't enough. A bedframe and a bench later, Ben was calm enough to meditate his way into the Netherworld. He wasn’t sure who or what he was looking for. Should he look for Han? He could sense that his Father was somewhere in the Netherworld but he hadn't shown himself to Ben yet. There must be a reason for his absence. 

Ben wasn’t ready to talk to his Mother after she had invaded his dreams. He winced, thinking of her words. How had she put it? _He and his Father wouldn't do anything unless they thought they were saving someone._ Ben weighed her words. He had returned to the Outerworld wanting to be with Rey but also because he knew the guilt he carried from his shitty excuse for a life might help her. She could never feel as bad about being her legacy of being a Palpatine, as he did about his own actions. _Fuck it, Leia was right. As usual._

Obi-Wan, father of 5 would be the most logical choice. Ben entered the dimly lit dueling room and was horrified to see Luke sitting in the center of the room. He wanted to run but found his feet were frozen in place. He struggled to move but he was being drug toward his former master.

He slowly made eye contact with his former master. “Please, let me leave.”

Luke patted the spot next to him. “Nephew.”

Ben fought against the tractor beam pull of Luke’s force. He searched the shadowy room, hoping to see someone, anyone to help him. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t prevent himself from being drug to Luke’s side. It felt like facing Snoke’s throne, all over again. A cold sweat broke out on his skin.

“I heard about Rey.” Luke's voice was terse, scolding.

“How?” Ben heard himself whisper even though he had not meant to speak the words out loud.

“Your mother broadcast it across the Netherworld. She and Obi-Wan are consulting with the Jedi Council as we speak.” Luke placed a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “They are determined to do a better job protecting your daughter than we did protecting you.”

Luke’s words sent a shiver through him. Ben started to panic, imagining his child being torn from him, raised by Jedi on some distant planet. “No. Please don’t.” Ben could barely choke the words out. 

"Your child will be a powerful Force User. She and Rey must be well guarded, trained to control their powers."

Ben shook in fear. They were going to take his daughter. They could take Rey from him. 

Suddenly, Luke bolted up. “There’s trouble in the Outerworld. You must go now. Now!”


	55. Say Goodbye

Ben ran from the Netherworld, the rapid transition between dimensions threw him to his knees. 

He found Finn standing over Rey. She was laying in a fetal position on the muddy ground. A large, heavy wreath composed of bones, leaves and glowing amber stones was around her neck. Ben tried to pull it off her but a violent wave of energy repelled him backwards.

“What the hell what did you do to Rey?!” Ben roared as he force blasted Finn across the courtyard. 

Finn scrambled to his feet. “Fight me like a man, you Sith bastard!”

“I’m not a Sith!” Ben couldn’t help himself from snarling.

“I’m going to kill you this time,” Finn growled as he swung at Ben’s head. Ben easily shifted away from the punch, but before he could bring his hands up to defend, Finn drove his shoulder into Ben's chest, slamming him into the wall of the barrack. 

“I don’t give a shit about fighting you.” Ben pushed Finn off him, trying not to hurt him. “Just take that thing off Rey. You’re hurting her.”

“ _You’re_ the one hurting her. You brought this on yourself, Kylo Ren!” Finn snapped and swung again at Ben, a wild punch that glanced harmlessly off Ben’s shoulder. 

"Fucking quit it!" Ben shouted as Finn tried to drive his fist into Ben’s gut, managing only to mash his knuckles on the lightsaber handle. “You’ve got a problem with me, deal with me. Leave her out of it!”

“You’re a monster!” Finn’s voice echoed through the forest. Sanitation droids rolled past impassively. 

“Yes, I was.” Ben stepped toward him, arms up in surrender. “There is nothing about being Kylo Ren that I forgive myself for.” His mind flashed to Jinn’s words. “I _will_ atone. I will pay the universe back for everything I've done.”

“That’s not good enough.”

“Then what the fuck do you want? You want me to pay for my crimes? Tell me how. Tell me what you want and I’ll do it. I just need Rey to be safe.” Ben pleaded.

“You’re only with her because she’s a P-”

Finn froze stopped as Manzuzuu stepped out of the shadows. 

Ben’s rage quelled on the spot. Finn had not told the Sith Eternal that Rey was a Palpatine. For all his anger at the ex-Storm trooper, he was suddenly filled with gratitude that Rey’s secret was safe. Ben knew Finn must still value Rey’s life and safety enough to withhold this dangerous information. 

“I’ll take the thing off her neck if you put it on and come with us. No struggle.” Finn spoke slowly as if he was trying to calm a wild animal.

Ben dropped his lightsaber and stepped forward, wrists out. “Take me.”

“Oooh, that was sexy.” Manzuzuu purred, cuffing Ben. She removed the heavy neck wreath from Rey. Ben watched helplessly as her small form crumbled to the ground. 

“Say goodbye to your whore Jedi wannabe.” 

**Rey.** Ben tried to reach her through their connection but her unconscious mind was closed to him. **I’m sorry.**

Manzuzuu drug him up the loading deck of an old freighter. He could feel his strength dulling. In a moment of panic, he reached out to Rose.


	56. Ap'Lek

Ap’Lek looked around in disgust. This was no way for the Knights of Ren to live. 

He had always been opposed to Kuruk’s partnership with Manzuzuu and the Cultists. Kylo would have never agreed to this. These fucking cultists were pathetic life forms. Selfish, rotting, weak and feeble. He wanted to rip Manzuzuu’s leg braces off and snap her blue, twig-like legs. _Fuck this plan_. 

He was a Knight and here he was, hooking teenage storm troopers up to IV drips so cultists could drink their blood or whatever the hell they were into. 

Where was this all heading? He was a highly-skilled assassin and he was changing diapers for gods' sake! 

If Kuruk was to be believed, Finn and Manzuzuu were going to bring Kylo back to the Knights. But Ap’Lek knew Kylo would not come back to them the same. He would not be the Kylo they they missed. He was different now. Kylo was reportedly with Rey. My gods, he hated that grotesque Jakku bitch.

One week ago, the Knights had followed Kylo to Exegol. Chasing him down into the dimming lights of that shitty cave. It had seemed normal, natural even to follow him. They wanted to serve as his escort as he returned to the Emperor’s side. And then something had shifted horribly.

When Kylo had turned to face them, Ap’Lek could tell that every single thing about their leader was different. 

There was a strange light in his eyes, an unfamiliar sense of ease to his posture. He turned to face them not as their leader but as an enemy. Ap’Lek had felt gravity drain down to his feet. Kylo turned on him holding a shitty blaster, without armor, without his signature red lightsaber. He was the same man but entirely changed. And then they saw it appear from behind his back: the fabled blade of Anakin Skywalker. It looked perfect in Kylo’s hands, like it was always meant to be there.

Kylo had struck them down like they were nothing. Like they were a field being cleared of debris. 

Clearing fields. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._ He kept seeing visions of clearing fields scene over and over in the mind of this stupid, worthless soldier. Ap’Lek stared down at Wipolo Nagg’s silent form. Kuruk was forcing him to delve into the mind of this lame excuse of a Resistance fighter they'd captured. _Like this shithead knew anything._

Fighter didn’t seem to be the right designation for this skinny creature. Ap’Lek had been told that Wipolo Nagg was a gunner but seeing his memories, this was clearly a big fat lie. The young man’s mind held few memories of combat. Over and over, he could see the man clearing fields, emptying trash cans and sleeping on an empty cot. There was nothing remarkable about this idiot. He was worthless.

Everything was pointless. They had taken every single useful piece of information from Wipolo Nagg’s brain. The location of Jinn Kenobi at the Black Rim Medical Crisis Center, faint whispers of a center for force users run being started by that idiotic bitch Rey. Wipolo didn’t know anything remotely helpful and using his image as bait for Jinn Kenobi had not worked out well.

The only thing they had learned from their visit to Batuu was that Kenobi women were to be avoided at all costs. Ap'Lek used to be positive he hated Rey more than any woman alive but when he thought of Sola and Jinn Kenobi, he couldn't be sure. Fuck them all. 

Ap’Lek’s pinky finger had been shorn down to a stub. His hand was wrapped in bacta patch. He had burns on his back and shin that testified to the Knight’s miscalculation. They had thought they could corner Jinn Kenobi - her last name should have been their first clue - and torture her into divulging the location of Rey’s training Center. 

If Ap’Lek knew anything at all, it was that wherever Kylo Ren was, it wasn’t far from that little Jakku scavenger bitch.


	57. Imposing

**Rose?**

"Ben?" Rose Tico bolted up from a catnap, looking around her small quarters. "Ben? Where are you?"

**Sorry to impose. I'm talking to you in your head.**

"What the fuck is happening? Oh my god, am I dead? Was it food poisoning? That lettuce seemed weird. Was there an attack?"

**Rose. Rose! You’re not dead but I’m in trouble and I need help and you’re my only friend besides Rey.**

Rose sat up, remembering how to talk back to Ben through their connection. She touched her temples gingerly and reached out to him. She could feel his connection, like a brick sitting on her chest. **Ben? What happened?**

**This fucked up Sith Eternal cult has me. I’m on Exegol.**

Rose breathed in sharply. T **hat’s impossible, Finn is in charge of watching the Sith Eternal's creepy cultists on our base.**

 **Well guess again cuz he’s here on Exegol with me and it’s getting pretty twisted here.** Ben cast his gaze over at Finn unloading corpses. **I don’t want to get into specifics but I’m looking at some fundamentally demented drama playing out in front of me. And I need help.**

Rose threw on her jacket. **Demented like making fun of a one-legged Porg or like your hair is going to fall out after watching it weird?**

Ben watched as Finn tried to stack corpses on a pallet. **Rose, if I told you what I’m seeing right now, your grandchildren would be infertile.**

**Whoa.**

**Rose, listen to me. I need help. Finn took a ship called the Fortitude. He turned over the ship’s crew to these blue Cult necromancers.**

She shoved her feet into boots. **Oh my gods. Wait, did I tell you I had another date last night with Beaumont Finn.**

**I really think he's good for you. Are you positive he isn't hooking up with Kaydel Ko anymore?**

**Oh my gods Ben, When I heard your creepy disembodied voice, I thought for sure it was her coming to bash me in the head.** Rose threw her hair into a ponytail.

**You need to be with an intelligent guy who can appreciate you.**

**It's gonna be OK.** Rose ran out of her room. **Just hang in there.**

**Rose, Rey is pregnant.**

**Wow, wow, wow. Oh my gods, just wow.** Rose ran toward Poe's office. **Oh my gods, your little force baby is gonna be - what what do you call it? Like a Dyad super baby!** Rose used her keycard to open Poe's office door. **Force baby, here I come!**

Rose found Poe asleep at his desk and began shaking him violently. "Wake the fuck up!"

**Ben! I've got Poe here, now tell me exactly what to do!**


	58. Following Protocol

Rose accidently slammed Poe's head against his desk, trying to wake him up.

He startled awake, staring at Rose blankly. A paper clip stuck to his forhead.

She drew a deep breath. "Um, heyyyy Poe." 

"Yes Rose?"

"Um, you know how you like to pretend like Ben Solo is totally dead and doesn’t work here twice a week? "

Poe straightened his shirt. "No comment."

"Well he kinda contacted me through our best friend Force connection, or whatever, because he’s been taken prisoner by Sith Eternal Cultists."

"Are they members of same group Finn holding on the detention level?"

"Well yes. Except for the detail where there’s any Sith Eternal Cultists left on the detention level." Rose forced herself to sound cheerful. "Um, I think Finn might have let them all go and he’s with them on Exegol."

Poe opened his laptop and checked the security cameras. "Oh gods. Oh hell, they’re gone. They're all gone. Is Ben OK? Where’s Rey?"

"Rey is on Ajan Kloss. Ben went with those cultist weirdos voluntarily to protect her." Rose closed her eyes before telling Poe the one piece of information Ben had asked her to withhold. "Because she’s pregnant. The Cult people have some kind of weird sedative crystals that I don't understand. That part doesn't make any sense. But I sent BB8 to make sure Rey’s OK."

Poe struggled to make sense of the information. He touched his mother's ring around his neck reflexively, silently wishing for Sola to appear. "You said Ben contacted you through some sort of Force connection. Can you explain that?"

"Not in any way that's going to be particularly useful or efficient time-wise." 

"OK. We will circle back to that at a later date."

Rose breathed a sigh of relief. Poe was in his General mode, speaking in confident, vague terms. Everything was going to be OK. "Ben told me you would know how to get ahold of someone named Swans. He said she’s a Forcer Seeker and she'd be in Leia's database. Please tell me you know what he's talking about?"

Poe hadn't seen Swans in years. He didn't know how she and Leia knew each other. "Swans?"

Rose watched as Poe's face took on an odd expression. She looked over Poe's shoulder as he pulled up Swan’s file. "Wait, she’s a Kenobi?" Like ‘Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope'?" Rose's eyes lit up. She stared at the file of a beautiful young woman with sun streaked blond hair. "She's listed as a Jedi Consular, whatever that is. Wait - wait - wait. Poe, you’ve got that look in your eyes. Oh my gods, did you sleep with her? I mean, it’s cool if you did." Rose looked over his shoulder, trying not to laugh.

Poe stared in disbelief at Swan's file in the database. This was the woman who had recruited him to join the New Republic. He had met Swans in a bar when he was still a pilot with the Spice Runners of Kijimi. One minute they were drinking Jawa Juice and making out in a corner booth. The next minute, he was tearing off to join the New Republic Defense Fleet. Had he been manipulated by a Jedi? His mind sputtered trying to connect dots. 

"That ambassador you like, Sola - she's a Kenobi too, isn't she? Are they sisters? Oh my gods, I'm dying."

"I definitely did not _sleep_ with Swans. And I haven't slept with Sola yet. I mean, we sleep in the same bed every night but -" 

"Poe you're a prince among men."

He took a deep breath before typing in Swans contact and shakily sending a message to her comm link.

→ →

A second later Swans messaged back: _Heading to Exegol. Meet us there._

Rose and Poe hurried to the hangers.

"Should we take a crew with us?" Rose started filling out the required paperwork. Poe yanked her away. "We'll fill that out later."

"No. You can't just take off without telling anyone! That’s what assholes do!"

"I'm a General, I'll fill out the damn paperwork later."

Rose crossed her arms. "Not on your life."

"Fucking fine!" Poe grabbed the paperwork from her and started filling it out. 

Rose sent a message to Commander D’Arcy to inform her of their intentions and filed the paperwork and flight log. "There, crossed our T's, dotted our I's. Was that so hard?"

Poe cast a grim look in her direction.

As they scrambled into a BTL-S3 Y-wing Starfighter. Rose continued to type into her datapad. "Oh gods, there was a distress call." 

"What?" Poe tried to maintain his focus as he took off, punching in the complex, multi-jump coordinates to Exegol.

Rose typed into her laptop, searching for information. "Lieutenant Dyan sent out a distress signal from the Fortitude 48 hours ago." She hung her head. "But it didn't show up in the official log. Because Finn ran a commander override on it. He tried to delete it but it went into the false - positive alerts database." 

Poe clenched his jaw. "Fuck."

"Oh god. Oh shit, look at this." Rose turned her laptop over for Poe to see. "This showed up an hour ago online."

  
Onscreen Finn pointed a blaster at the camera. Blue skinned Cultists swarmed behind him. Finn turned to Manzuzuu who stood beside him. "Just pick one."

"Just one, Finn honey?" She pouted.

"That’s what we agreed to. One now and you can have the rest after you kill Kylo Ren."

Manzuzuu pointed directly at the camera. "We’ll take him. I like his fear."

The camera hit the ground and there was a shuffle of feet and screaming.

"I think that was their camera guy, Elliver Olim. I'm kind of thinking he's not OK. That was posted on the rebel holovid site. It’s gotten, like a billion views already."

"Oh hell."


	59. Alone

Rey woke up alone. Even before her eyes opened, she knew Ben was gone. The birds chattered differently, the trees seemed to sway down with her sadness. The emptiness hole left by Ben's missing Force pulsated. It was though no humans had ever existed on Ajan-Kloss. Rey tried to drag herself to her knees but she collapsed on her side. She rubbed her head, letting the memories sift themselves into place. Ben, Finn, the necromancer, the large wreath - like neck restraint, the crushing weight. Ben had given himself up to Finn and Manzuzuu. They had taken the wreath off her and put it on him. He was gone. 

What had he said, right before? She couldn't remember. What was it that Leia said in the dream? Name the first one after Han, he’d like that. Rey instinctively felt her stomach. 

Was she still-? She tried to stand up but howled in pain.

Birds clattered in the distance and she saw Ma Fas peeking out between the trees.

"Little Rey. I heard you screaming." The Mohsenian's snout quivered as she spoke. 

Rey fell over, dizzy. 

Ma Fas rushed to her side. "Oh no, no, no. What happened to you, little one?"

Rey grabbed her arm, her neck twisting in pain to look up into the sweet Mohsenian’s face. "Am I still pregnant?"

Mas Fas stared at her curiously. Rey was covered in mud and looked to be racked with pain but yet the smell was clear, clear and bright as a ringing bell. She smiled at Rey. "Yes, my dear one. Your child is a strong one. Made of love and forged with strength." Ma Fas touched her stomach. "This one is a girl. She will be a great warrior to be sure. Dark and tall like your smelly Jedi boyfriend. I’m afraid your other ones will be boys but you’ll have to deal with that as it comes."


	60. En Route

Rey felt powerless and mad as hell. Even the fancy T-85 X-wing Poe had sent was making her angry. 

“I’m sorry BB8.” She apologized. “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself.” 

Ben had taught himself to reach out to Swans and Rose. _Why had she had never bothered to try to connect to anyone but Ben? What did that say about her? Over confident loner, reckless, insignificant, under trained, ill prepared…_ She was so sure she didn’t need anything from anyone. And now she was stuck with nothing but a crappy comm link that Poe might not even be checking. 

She tried to quell her feelings of terror as she reached out to Ben’s force. His mind was sluggish and blurry. 

When she had experienced the amber crystals with Ben on Tatooine, the feeling was so safe and calming. Her senses slowed and expanded to allow room for all that was him: his wide shoulders and pale skin, the ever shifting emotions of his face and all that dark hair. She had loved how her consciousness drifted with his untethered. 

But when same crystals had gone around her neck that morning and the effect of them was so densely numbing that she felt nauseated as she touched her neck. Ben was trapped in that frightening state. As she reached out, his force was weak. She could feel him pushing outward, trying to fight against the tide of sleep. 

It took every bit of her strength to keep her inner voice calm as she whispered to him through their Force connection. 

**Ben, open your eyes. My love, wake up. Tell me what you see.**

**Rey - Where are you?**

**I’m safe. Our baby is safe.** She didn’t want to think about life inside of her right now but she knew he would be worried. **Open your eyes and tell me what you see.**

He opened their connection like a shimmering summer lake. There was no filter of his conscious mind, no narrative voice, only images running together. If anyone else was trying to listen to his thoughts, he longer cared. Swans? Rose? Obi-Wan? He couldn’t remember who he had tried to reach out to anymore. He could feel Rey, her heart wrapped around him.

Years of training with Luke washed back and forth over Ben like endless waves. Take inventory of your surroundings, take stock of yourself and your opponents. His surroundings: there was no sunshine, only ghastly blue lights. There was blue powder in the air, pigmented dust catching light. The feel: it was wet, his cheek was flat against cool slippery rock, the wreath of bones and amber crystals scratched around his neck. The smell: sulfur. He was back in the caves of Exegol. 

The past and present blended together for a moment and he saw himself holding Rey’s lifeless body. No, no, no. She _had_ to live. He wanted to give his life to her. He wanted to give her anything he had. He wanted to have the chance to show her his love her even if it was only for a moment. She was all that mattered.

Ben's mind drifted away. Luke's training, Luke's training. What was he supposed to do next? 

→ →

Alone in the cockpit, Rey was profoundly moved by Ben's overwhelming, blinding love. She had basked in the gentle, goofy affection of a newly redeemed Ben Solo but she had never truly felt the needy, desperate side of his feelings for her. She was seeing the elemental part of him that had reached out to her, the gut-wrenching lonely part of him that motivated him to take off his glove and reach for her hand. The empty sad side of him that knew that their contact would uproot everything he had fought for. 

She could feel his body shaking with emotion. His slowing senses no longer remembered if she had taken the hand he had reached out to her.

**I’m safe Ben. I love you. I’m going to be there soon.**


	61. Will

Swans was furious. Where in the bloody hell was her father? 

She and Sola had gotten to Exegol moments after Poe’s call. It couldn’t take the great General Kenobi that long to dust off some ancient Jedi and haul their asses to the Outerworld. 

When Poe messaged, Swans had been on Coruscant teaching her bi-weekly Aturi lesson at the House of Vahali. She hated it with a passion but she was not only Obi-Wan’s daughter, she was his former Padawan. Unlike the rest of her family, when he asked Swans to jump, she was duty bound to ask how high. When he asked to her to teach make-believe lightsaber dueling to rich kids so their parents would donate money to the Resistance, her response was always ‘Yes, I would be glad to.’

Sola was under no such covenant. She was free to stomp and curse while Swans remained stoic. “Just how fucking long does it take to drag Qui-Gon out of his meditation room and braid his damn hair?”

→ →

In actuality, Qui-Gon wasn’t the issue. Leia Organa was the one slowing things down. She had blown up when the Jedi Council had not instantly sprung into action. 10 minutes into her tirade, there were only a scant number of council members remaining in attendance. 

“Leia, please calm down.” Depa Billaba said softly. “Try to remember there are only a handful of us who have trained to appear as Force Spirits. As powerful as we are, we cannot teach ourselves this power simply because you will it to be so.”

“Very few of us have any ability to take corporeal form.” Nelani Dinn added. “Yoda may be able to summon a fireball to burn down our beloved Uneti tree but I don’t know if he can hold a lightsaber.”

Leia’s eyes darted around the room, growing angrier by the minute. “Well, a fireball is better than nothing.”

“Where are you going?” Ki-Adi-Mundi called at Leia’s retreating form. 

“To find someone who can really help!” Without hesitation, Leia ran to her Mother.

→ →

“Yoda, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, Mace and Luke. Obi-Wan and I can stay in the Outerworld the longest but everyone should be OK for about an hour.” Padme said as she balanced on a chair, trying to yank a Gungan sword off the wall. She willed herself to forget sword's historical significance. 

“We have Sola, Jinn and Swans there already. Poe and Rose said they can be there soon.” Leia recited. “Wait, did you say Anakin? He’s gonna help?”

“Let me handle that one.” Padme said quietly as the sword tumbled down off the wall.

"If you say so." Anakin wouldn't even look in Leia's direction, it seemed far fetched to think he would help her. 

→ →

Jinn appeared across the rocky terrain. Her hair was only half braided, she was armed with her lightsaber and a first order laser ax.

Sola ignored the deranged look on sister's face. "Oooh, cool laser ax."

Jinn stared right through her. "Those pieces of crap Knights are here, I can sense their vile presence. They have my soldier."


	62. 24 or 25 Knights

Ap’Lek watched as Kuruk gingerly nudged the lifeless form of the Supreme Leader. He’d forgotten how large Kylo was, how much space he took up. His legs were splayed and one foot hung off the hover palette. 

Their leader had returned. A tightness in Ap’Lek’s chest eased when he finally saw Keylo. With his next breath, a dark cloud of worry began to form in his mind. They had made many choices without him, they had gone so far off course.

Manzuzuu had demanded fresh corpses for whatever bizarre-ass ritual she was planning. He had his doubts about her bullshit ravings about how she and her herd of weakling cultists were going to raise a Sith Lord from the dead. Darth Ruin sounded fake as fuck. So far the only substantial thing Ap’Lek had seen her do was manipulate the amber crystals they’d pried out of the floor on Tatooine. 

He did have to concede that Manzuzuu did better with the crystals than they had. He and Kuruk practically went into comas trying to transport the damn things. She had deftly constructed the weird bone wreath wearing 2 pairs of welding gloves and a mask. For reasons unknown she had killed a Resistance camera man as part of the ritual but Ap’Lek had decided not to think about that bit for a while. 

The Knights had also expanded their ranks, bringing on 22 new members in the past week. Usually a Knights had to endure endless trials to prove themselves worthy, kill or be killed. But Kuruk had set a different agenda. They needed to expand quickly. The working theory was ‘safety in numbers’. 

Kuruk had some ability to detect force sensitive beings - most were of minor ability but some held promise. They had intercepted hundreds of defecting, traitorous storm troopers coming from all over the galaxy. Taking control of their ships was child’s play. They took stock of the troopers, separating out possible force users, the others were either killed for sport or shipped to Exegol.

The Force Sensitives had all joined the Knights without hesitation except for that fucking Wipolo Nagg. Torture hadn’t worked and their threats to kill Jinn had not been effective. Wipolo either knew of Jinn’s ability to defend herself or he’d picked up on their fear of encountering the Kenobi women again.

It was a shame. They could use someone with his ability to heal. They’d observed him healing himself, he was gifted. The other force users they’d gathered didn’t compare in the least. Maybe they’d try torture again now that Kylo was here. The Supreme Leader had always been gifted at instilling fear. 

There were 24 of them now. Kylo would make 25. As Ap’Lek stared down at his unconscious leader, he wondered what kind of Kylo Ren awaited them. Had Manzuzuu restored Keylo to himself or was he still under some sort of spell cast by that filthy Jakku girl?

Physically, Kylo Ren was just as they had last seen him. No armor, no helmet, no lightsaber. Trying not to look conspicuous, Ap’Lek stepped closer. Keylo’s lips were moving, his eyes moved without seeing. He could hear him whisper. “Rey - Where are you?”

That little bitch was still controlling him. She had somehow poisoned his mind. The Knights had always joked behind his back that Kylo was going to fall for the first girl who sucked his dick. Maybe that was all it was. Ap’Lek wished that was true but he knew there was something more to it.

Somehow that girl had eroded the strength and self discipline of a great leader. Ap’Lek longed to be able to talk to Kylo alone. How could ask the one question he needed to ask. It was not the sort of thing he could say in front of others. How do you ask the person you love why they don’t care about you anymore? Why had he left them? What could Kylo say that would explain why he’d turned on his best friends, his loyal Knights? He had attacked them as though they meant nothing to him. He had literally kicked Ap’Lek when he was down. It was a miracle any of them had survived. What would Kylo say to make everything OK?

An hour later, Ap’Lek's questions were answered. Kylo Ren’s eyelids fluttered. He winced, trying to move his body. His legs wouldn’t move, his hands barely shifted. He looked up at Ap’Lek hopefully. 

“Ap’Lek get me out of this thing and I promise not to kill you.” 

That wasn’t the answer he was looking for. Ap’Lek set his lips in a tight line. He wanted to cry or lash out or shred Manzuzuu into pieces. This was not the leader he had pledged his heart to. This was not his Kylo Ren.


	63. 'Till Death Do Us Part

Padme pounded on the door of the tidy, well appointed house.

"Anakin!"

The door opened just enough for Padme to see his glaring blue eyes.

"Annakin, you need to come help Ben. I implore you." 

"No."

He tried to slam the door on in her face but Padme jammed her foot in the doorway. "You're his grandfather!"

"How do I know that? You broke our vows. How do I know you were _ever_ faithful to me?"

Padme flinched as rage tore through her. She felt like she’d been hit. "You turned to the darkside," she hissed. "We stopped being married when you stopped being Anakin Skywalker."

"I turned to the darkside for you! To save YOU!" Annakin shouted, inches away from her face.

"Is it even remotely possible that you still believe this shit after all these years? Are you a complete idiot?" 

He slapped her face. 

Infuriated, she returned his slap, full force. "I went into early labor because you tried to choke me to death! Do you understand what those words mean?" 

"You should have stayed with me. I am your husband." Anakin growled. 

"I sacrificed my life to protect my children from you and your selfish pride!" Padme stepped forward, crossing the threshold of his home. 

Anakin turned away from her. "You allowed the Jedi to deceive me. You kept my children from me."

"What the hell are you talking about?! I was dead!" Padme was incredulous. 

"So dead that you shacked up with Kenobi on Tatooine?"

Padme's mouth fell open in shock. "After two years!"

"Sooooo, _'till death do us part_ means two years?" 

"No, Anakin, _'till death do us part_ literally means death! I died."

"You’re such a bitch." He sputtered.

"You don’t deserve to be in the Netherworld!" 

Annakin forced pushed her against the wall. "You have defiled yourself with Obi-Wan."

"Unhand Padme or you _will_ be harmed." Obi-Wan appeared in the doorway. 

"Make me." Anakin taunted him.

"My gods you’re being so immature." Obi-Wan hurled force lightning at him.

Anakin was twisted in pain but his curiosity was peaked. His voice was choked with pain. "Force Lightning? When did you learn how to do that?"

He dropped Annakin to his knees. "I’ve had some time on my hands recently. I’ve picked up a trick or two." 

Anakin shook his head. "Impressive."

Obi-Wan-wan stood over him. "Behave or I will Force Drain you." He challenged 

"You don’t know how to do that. You’re bluffing."

"Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. But you _will_ help us save your Grandson."

"Protect your own bastard children." Annakin spat out the words. 

Obi-Wan stiffened with rage. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders calmly. "You know Luke and Leia Are your children. You can feel it. You wouldn’t have died for Luke if he wasn’t. Look into your heart, for gods' sake!"

Annakin stared at Padme. "Gods, I hate you both."

"Right now the feeling is mutual but we must save Ben together." Obi-Wan offered him a hand to get up.

Annakin glowered at his former master and rose to meet his stare. "Where is he?"

"Where do you think?"


	64. Battle Stage

Swans paced the barren landscape of Exegol. It was too quiet, too desolate. 

She was relieved when a BTL-S3 Y-wing Starfighter landed across the field. The ramp extended and Poe appeared looking heroic. Wind ruffled his hair and his stern expression transformed into a wide, open grin. Swans watched in confusion as Sola’s face lit up with joy.

“The Fortitude is parked next to some freighters on the other side of that mountain. I think that must be a staging ground. Come with us, there’s a decent place to land. We’re not safe here! The Knight's of Ren's ships are here.”

Sola happily imagined herself climbing onto Poe’s lap, his strong arms wrapped around her, his chin nuzzling her shoulder as he piloted. Then she imagined him falling asleep at the controls and crashing in a fiery inferno. She bit her lip and locked away her urges. 

“We’ll just meet you there.” Sola shielded her eyes, her hair whipping in the engine’s exhaust. 

Swans shook Jinn who was staring off into the distance, looking dazed and twirling the First Order laser ax. She snapped her fingers in front of her sister's face. “Come on.”

Jinn’s face turned ashen. _Her Soldier could be there with the Knights of Ren. Why couldn’t she feel his presence?_  
  


→ →

Poe and Rose parked behind a craggy outcropping of rocks. Sola couldn’t help smiling at Poe’s windswept hair. Then a wave of noxious cologne hit her. She made a mental note, that bottle needed to go in the trash - he smelled like dog shampoo. 

Rose plastered on a fake smile. “Hello Ambassador Sola, Swans. I’m Rose Tico. I’m Ben’s best friend. We work together.”

Swans bowed to Rose formally. “This is Jinn. 

Poe smiled uncomfortably at Swans. “Long time, no see.”

Rose cleared her throat to hide a snort. “Soooo what’s our plan here?”

Swans spoke formally, choosing her words carefully. “We must maintain a secure perimeter while we wait for General Kenobi, Master Qui-Gon and those available to assist us.”

Rose looked behind her for a camera crew. It made zero sense to her that anyone spoke this formally. It was like watching a holonet movie. 

Swans continued in formal military mode.“I have been advised Rey is on her way here. She has had previous combat experience on Exegol. Her input will be most valuable.”

Poe braced himself, feeling less secure by the second. Sola sensed his tension and touched his neck. His eyes closed as her calm seeped into him. 

He kissed her forehead with gratitude. “I’ve missed you.”

Swans frowned, watching her sister with Poe. _What the hell was going on with these two?_

Sola touched the paisley scarf around Poe’s neck. “I thought I threw this ugly thing away.”

Poe smiled, dumbfounded by Sola's beauty. “Why would you throw away my scarf?”


	65. Battle Stage 2

Anakin, Padme, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon materialized from the Netherworld on Exegol. With relief, they spotted Rose, Poe, Jinn, Sola and Swans. 

Swans tried to avoid Qui-Gon’s stare. 

He whispered. “I have not seen you in two days.”

She stepped away from him without meeting his eyes.

After introductions were made, Obi-Wan frowned, glancing around the barren terrain. “This is truly a vile planet.” He turned to Anakin. “Didn’t you have a castle here?”

“That was on Mustafar. Can you really Force Drain?”

“I believe so but I haven’t had the chance to try it on anyone yet.” He glanced at Anakin. “But Ben can teleport.”

“That’s not possible. Teleporting is a Sith power.” 

“He _was_ trained by a Sith for 15 years.”

“I heard the girl is a better duelist than Mace.”

“She beat Ben and Ben beat Qui-Gon yesterday.” 

“That’s to be expected.” Anakin froze, bowing his head slightly. “No offense, Master Qui-Gon.”  
  


It struck Obi-Wan as comical than Annakin would call Padme a bitch but felt uneasy criticizing Qui-Gon fighting kills.

→ → 

Rose stared openly at Anakin. She leaned toward Poe, trying to whisper discreetly. “Um, are they dead?”

“They don’t seem dead. They’re like, holding onto stuff. They look solid. Anakin Skywalker - that’s like Darth Vader, right? How can that be a good thing?” Poe spoke through a clenched smile.

“He’s way, way hotter than I would’ve expected. I’m totally into this,” Rose breathed.

Anakin bristled under their stares. “We can totally hear you. We’re Force Spirits not apparitions!”

“Oh for the love of Gods, Anakin! Please don’t get testy.” Obi-Wan scolded.

Rose stared into Anakin’s large blue eyes. “I don’t know much about Force Spirits but I'd be willing to learn. You’d be my first.”

→ →

Padme watched curiously as Sola leaned toward Poe Dameron. The Resistance General took Sola’s hand with a boyish grin. Sola giggled as Poe's eyes seem to glaze over.

“Who the fuck is this?” Swans growled.

A pair of T-85 X-wings landed beside Poe’s Starfighter.

As Rey exited the X-Wing, still covered in mud. Her gait was shaky as she exited her ship. Beaumont Finn stumbled out of a X-Wing clutching his stomach. He ran up to take Rey’s elbow. She flinched as he touched her but did not pull away.

“Where did you come from?” Rey said stiffly.

“Don’t worry, the Astromech flew. I don’t even know how to steer.”

Jinn rushed to Rey and began to check her for injuries.

→ →

Rose turned to Beaumont Finn, “Soooo, what the hell brings you to Exegol, Professor?”

“Can’t let you have all the fun.” He tried to sound casual. “I - I saw your flight log and I got so worried about you.”

“Awww.” She kissed his cheek. "You came to a desolate Sith wasteland just for me? I appreciate your sentiment but I think we're going to die here. You're definitely going to get killed."

→ →

“General Kenobi, how do we proceed?” Swans’ voice was clipped, deferential to her Father.

“Rey, do you have any idea where they might be -”

“There.” Rey interrupted, pointing to a dark overhang. “That’s the entrance to the caves. Ben is somewhere underground but not where I have been before. I - I can sense he is somewhere else.”

“Rest assured we will find him.”Obi-Wan nodded to the group. “7 of us against an unknown enemy.” He looked proudly at his daughters and then the rest of the group. “You are finest warriors I have ever known.”

Beaumont smiled proudly. "Thank you, sir."

“He doesn’t mean us,” Rose whispered. "He's totally talking to them."


	66. Battle Stage 3

Obi-Wan looked past Rose at an approaching figure. “Oh no.” He blinked back tears.

Starlings Kenobi approached the group, lightsaber in hand.

Obi-Wan’s heart ached for his gentle-hearted, intellectual daughter.

“Starlings, what in blazes are you here?! You've never left the Netherworld!” 

“Leia said I was needed. I am trained as a Jedi.” Starlings spoke evenly.

Inhaling sharply, Obi-Wan's anger flared at Leia. It had never once occurred to him how similar Leia and Anakin were. Always pushing every situation, every person to the breaking point. Going on gut instinct and expecting the galaxy to meet them halfway. _Damnit all to hell._

“Starlings, I want you to leave now.”

Starlings did not want to leave. She thought of Leia’s urgent plea for help. Ben had been taken by terrible, evil people who wanted to hurt him. She liked Ben with his sad eyes and determined posture. 

She did not dislike The Outerworld as much as she expected. It was hot and unpleasant but it was lovely to meet Sola’s new boyfriend, Poe. He smelled like their pet porg. She liked watching Swans, her twin, pretend to ignore Qui-Gon Jinn. As if anyone could ignore a man that size. 

She refocused her attention. “Father, Ben is in danger. He is my family and I must answer the call to help him.”

“I did not wish for you to experience the Outerworld like this.”

“I'm sure the galaxy has places more beautiful and more wretched places than this.” Starlings said softly.

Obi-Wan shook his head “No, this is a vile cesspool.”

↣ ↣ 

Sola watched as her Father embraced Starlings. “She should not be here.” 

“You're the one who should not be here, Sola. You’re the one banned from combat.” Anakin snapped. 

“Fuck off, Skywalker.” Sola hissed.

↣ ↣ 

“Sola.” Obi-Wan summoned his daughter. 

Sola bowed low before him. She was expecting her Father to remind her of the Jedi Council’s decree, banning her from combat. Instead, her father's nimble fingers untied Sola’s amber necklace, allowing it to fall to the ground. “My dear child, your full strength must be unleashed.”

Sola beamed. “I will not disappoint you, Father.”

“Please try to avoiding decapitating anyone, if possible.”


	67. Battle Stage 4

“Where’s Mace?” Sola asked hopefully.

“He’s babysitting Shadda.” 

Obi-Wan turned to Padme. “My love, I know you want to be here for Ben but -”

“I know, I know. Mace is a lot scarier than I am. I’ll go take care of Shadda. ”

Despite Anakin’s glare, Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around his wife. He kissed her deeply. “I promise we will bring him back.”

“Just don’t - don’t let them turn him back to the dark side. We can’t lose him again."

Qui-Gon nodded calmly. “You know we will do everything in our power.” 

Swans stole a quick glance at Qui-Gon, proud at his ability to offer calm reassurance. 

Obi-Wan quickly reached out through the Force to connect with Mace Windu who had agreed to babysit the youngest Kenobi daughter. Sitting on a chaise lounge, Mace looked exhausted, a flower tucked behind one ear. He sat beside a sleeping Shadda and a pile of painted sticks.

“Are you alright Master Windu?”

“Obi-Wan, your child ate a butterfly.”

“Yes I’m afraid Yoda has encouraged her to eat bugs.”

“You _know_ how I feel about butterflies.”

Obi-Wan didn’t know how to respond, thinking about the framed cases of butterfly specimens Mace hung on the walls of his home. _Did sticking pins in bugs mean you cared about them?_

“Mace, come help us when Padme gets there.”

“Who are you fighting there?” 

“Sith Eternal Cultists.” 

“I’ll be right there.”

Sola's smile froze when she saw Rey’s worried expression.

“Ben is not OK. He’s not OK.” Rey couldn’t stop shivering. 

“Professor Kinn, what did you say about the cultists and corpses?” Rose spoke stiffly hoping the undead Jedi Knights would listen to Beaumont Finn if she was loud enough. 

“Oh yes. These Cultists, they are Worshippers of Darth Ruin -”

“Darth Ruin?” Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. “Of all useless Sith!”

“Yes, Darth Ruin. Not not the most dynamic choice but they win top marks for originality. I don’t believe anyone else has paid mind to his legacy. Anyway, they are alchemists by trade and are known to mutilate corpses. They believe that fresh corpses give them elevated energy. I believe they’ll mutilate any dead body but a fresh corpse gives them some sort of rush - I’m sorry, I believe I’m rambling. So perhaps avoid killing because that will, in theory, make them more dangerous. “

“Thank you, Professor.” Qui-Gon bowed slightly.

“I spoke to several of them back on base and they spoke of a desire to resurrect Darth Ruin. I surmise they may try to use Ben’s blood in a ritual known as Rectification Spell of Resurrection. It's a blood ritual associated with this sect. I can’t possibly imagine a scenario where it would actually work but bless their twisted little hearts, they are an optimistic bunch.”

“So maim, do not mortally wound them. Get to Ben before they do whatever the hell they’re planning.”

“Generals, there are Knights of Ren here on Exegol.” Sola nodded at Poe. “General Dameron has spotted their ships. I don’t know how they’re involved. They aren’t a particularly creative bunch. They might be the muscle behind this operation. Jinn heard them talking about corpses so maybe they’re aiding the Cultists.”

“Anything we need to know about the Knights of Ren? Anyone?”

Sola lowered her chin, not daring to meet her Father’s eyes. “General, the Knights of Ren are somewhat powerful. They are formidable opponents but Jinn and I were able to defend ourselves against them effectively on Batuu 2 days ago.”

“Batuu?!” Obi-Wan pressed his lips into a tight line. “I certainly wish I was not hearing of this _now_ for the first time but I do appreciate the assessment, Sola.”

Obi-Wan gestured at the dark overhanging entrance to the cave. “If there is one way in, I feel confident we should proceed.” 

Obi-Wan fell into the role of commanding officer easily. “Sola, take Jinn to search these freighters. I sense there are injured parties there. General Dameron, please accompany them. As soon as the freighters are secure, we will need you to join us.”

Sola nodded.

“Rose and Beaumont, please guard the entrance of the cave. At some point cultists may start to flee. Please, step back.” He sunk a large chunk of earth to form a deep pit directly in front of the cave entrance.

“Show off,” Anakin muttered.

“The cultists will hopefully fall in on their own accord. Do not allow them out. Cut off their hands if they try to crawl out.” He handed Padme’s large Gungan sword to Rose. 

“Oh, lovely" Rose murmured. "A giant sword. That’s going to be super helpful because it weighs more than a table.” 

“I have a blaster!” Beaumont offered helpfully, patting himself down looking for it. “Perhaps I left it on base. I'll just stand behind Rose and this large, valuable sword."

“Alright then. We need to go in tight. Stay together. May the Force be with us all.”


	68. Into the Cave

They entered the dark overhang. The smell of sulfur choked Rey’s senses. She wiped away tears and forced herself to focus. Her eyes adjusted quickly to the dark cave. The wide opening narrowed to two pathways. She inhaled slowly remembering the path to Palpetine’s monumental chamber. She veered the other direction. Instead of a dramatic drop off, this tunnel slopes down gradually. Her boots slipped on the damp stone. She kept a hand running along the wall ahead of her, feeling the cave walls grow colder as they descended.   
  


They rounded a corner and the tunnel altered dramatically. 

The walls were honeycombed with large holes in the walls. Rey felt the edges of the holes. They didn’t feel smooth or organic. There were scratch marks, deep grooves in the stone.

Decaying, boney hands stuck out, as though reaching out at them.

“What in the fuck?”

“Catacombs, I've read about these.” Qui Gon spoke tersely. "Many cultists chose to starve themselves to death, they pick a tomb and crawl in to die.”

“Splendid.” Swan muttered. In darkness, she felt put Qui Gon place his hand on her waist. She looked at him with questioning eyes. He met her gaze warmly and moved his hand gently to the small of her back.

Rey let the skeletal hands brush past her, ignoring one hand that snatched at her hair. She charged forward. She led them further and further down the winding tunnels. She could hear water dripping down the walls. Ben was close. She could feel him. 

They entered a small open room. The floor was marred by dozens of deep holes. Rey peered into one and was horrified to see a wrinkled life form huddled at the bottom.

“Dear gods- ”

Qui Gon whispered “We will not assist them. Their elderly dwell here in temporary graves. They are waiting to be reborn as servants of their new Master.”

“Well, that is quite odd.” Starlings observed. 

Anakin peered over her shoulder. "Odd is right."

Starling liked the way Anakin's face looked when he scowled. No matter what everyone said about him, he was very interesting.  
  


Blue dust began to sift down onto them, seemingly out of nowhere. It coated their clothes.

“I don’t like the look of this one bit,” Obi-Wan whispered to Anakin.

They reached a large wooden door. 

A solitary figure in a blue hooded robe stood guard. “Stop. This is the future throne room of Darth Ruin.”

Obi-Wan was incredulous. “You cannot be serious?” 

Anakin laughed. “Darth Ruin was a pile of garbage.”

The hooded figure extended a sword at him and Anakin squared off in front of the blade.

“Allow me.” Anakin drew his lightsaber and ceremoniously sliced the figure through the shoulder. The figure crumbled. He kicked the torso out of Obi-Wan’s way. 

“After you, Master.”

“Well thank you, Anakin. That was most helpful.” 

The group entered a large chamber, the walls were coated in blue dust. Cultists stood in holes all over the room, others were attempting to dig shallow graves. 

At the far end of the room, Ben lay on the floor next to Finn. Manzuzuu stood between them, her clothes stained with blood. She hadn’t noticed the intruders as she read from an ancient scroll.

_“...and our dead shall live; their bodies shall rise up. You who dwell in the graves, awake and sing for joy! For your grave is a grave of light, and the earth will give birth to the dead!”_

Manzuzuu knelt down to stab an already desecrated corpse in a Resistance uniform. She dipped her hands into the torso and brought her bloody fingers to her lips. 

Then she picked up the ancient scroll. She kicked at Ben’s inert form, trying to wake him. She sprinkled him with water from a blue goblet _“... and you will become a life-giving spirit. Your sacrifice will be invisible to the faithful. Your flesh, your blood laid down forever as a ransom sacrifice to Darth Ruin. Your blood disposed of by Darth Ruin’s power…”_

Ob-Wan and Qui-Gon ignited their lightsabers. Blue faces turned toward the intruders

Nodding slightly, Obi-Wan locked eyes with each member of the group. “May the Force be with us.” They moved forward, falling into a tight circle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing battles / confrontation is not my strength. Open to suggestions as I weakly plow through this.


	69. Entering the Freighter

Poe raced behind Jinn and Sola.

”Sola, wait!”

A large medical freighter had been parked in the shade of the rocky overhang. To Poe’s utter shock, Sola tore open the door and stepped inside without checking for danger. One of the Knights of Ren stepped before them. 

Sola drew her lightsaber “Jinn, go!” 

Jinn ran alone into the dark freighter.

Sola pointed her weapon at the Knight. “Drop your weapon and bow down to me.”

The blood ran cold in Poe’s veins. They were on the same side and he was suddenly terrified of Sola. 

Her childlike features turned into a scowl. “Bow down now and I may spare your life.” 

The Knight laughed at Sola. “Little girl, still playing Jedi. Did your daddy buy you that lightsaber to play with?”

Poe could feel waves of rage rolling off Sola like desert heat. He gripped the door frame.

Sola ignited her blade with a menacing smile. “You are the one they call Ap’Lek?” 

“Or am I?” He shape-shifted into Poe.

“Give that shit a rest. After your little visit to Black Rim, I caught a whiff of your Force. You suck at disguise, by the way.”  
  


Ap’Lek faced off against Sola with a Mandalorian executioner’s vibro-ax. Poe felt sick, he could taste vomit rising in his throat. 

“Did you come back for your pinky?” Sola pulled a bloody stump of a finger out of her pocket.

Poe gasped in horror. 

“You want it back, psycho? Come and get it.” Sola dropped the dismembered appendage to the floor and smashed down on it with the heel of her boot. The bone crunched and the large Knight flinched.

Twelve soldiers, clad in black robes came running from one of the nearby hangers. 

“Who are these guys, your back up dancers?” Sola laughed. 

“You aren’t the only one with a Force Seeker.” Ap’Lek bragged.

Sola frowned. “Your little band of misfits is recruiting?”

“Our Knights are trained to become weapons of the Force. We follow in the steps of Lord Vader.”

“Worshipping Vader? Well, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard all day.”

“There is no greater Sith Lord.” One of the backup Knights called out. 

“Gods, you’re idiots. Palpatine was like twenty times more powerful.” Sola edged closer to Poe. They were out numbered. Despite her taunts, fear had crept into her voice.

“Vader killed Palpatine.” Another Knight in training argued. 

“That barely counts since Palpatine came back from the dead.” Sola countered. She hated how she sounded when she was nervous. 

“We have Vader’s lightsaber. After the Cultists raise Darth Ruin, they will return Kylo Ren to us and he will finally wield the lightsaber of his Grandfather. He will lead us again and we will rule the galaxy.”

“You’re serious?!” Sola shrieked. “Your dumbass leader obviously hasn't done their homework. Kylo Ren died a Jedi’s death, he has risen to become Ben Solo again.”

“No, he didn’t. He killed the Emperor and then he escaped.”

"With Rey, to a Resistance Base?" Sola immediately recognized the blunder of mentioning a location to a group of First Order sympathizers. “Don’t just stand there Poe, go help Jinn!”

“Sola, no! I can’t leave you here alone!”

“She’s not alone, son.” Mace Windu's Force Spirit materialized beside his former Padawan. He smiled at Sola. “Now let’s have some fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Help - I can't write parts with fighting. I watched ATT-ATT Chat videos:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4RUTwPuMIk
> 
> And Fight Scene Autopsy because I honestly have no idea what words to use:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvW4touytkc


	70. Desk Ornament

"Do not kill! Remember it makes them stronger." Obi-Wan reminded them. 

Rey Obi-Wan and Swans lead as they squeezed through the door. It was hot and the smell of decay was overwhelming. Rey gagged and felt herself stumble. An older female cultist was digging into the ground like a dog, her nails were cracked and bloody from the effort. Around them, cultist sat in holes or stood, craning their necks to view the makeshift altar where Manzuzuu was carrying out her ritual.

Manzuzuu glanced up at the group of intruders but did not pause. As she locked eyes with Rey, her expression turned defiant. She licked the blood from her fingers and continued her speech. "And our Lord, Darth Ruin said to his people: _There is no purpose. There is solely will. There is only me._ " She threw blue powder into the air. "There is only me." 

The cultists answered back, in unison, "There is only me."

Manzuzuu kicked Ben's ribs. "Through him, we will achieve enlightenment. Only through him shall we truly see."

Voices roses together. "Through him, we will see."

"We raise him with the blood of the chosen. We offer unto him, the fallen Lord Kylo Ren." Manzuzuu used a small dirty dagger to slice into Ben’s arm. His eyes opened slowly with the sensation of pain. Manzuzuu gathered Ben’s blood in a gold cup.

“Darth Ruin will rise again with his own body which we now bear forth.”

A hooded cultist stepped up beside Manzuzuu and held up a skull. The room of cultists threw blue powder into the air, raising their hands in praise. 

Anakin stared at Manzuzuu in horror. “Oh gods, that’s not Darth Ruin’s skull!”

“How could you possibly know that?” Obi-Wan whispered.

“I’m sure you remember I was an asshole for about 20 years, give or take. I had a castle full of asshole stuff and that skull was on my desk.”

“You had a person's skull on your desk?” Starlings was horrified.

“Not just any person.”

“Anakin?”

“I’m sorry. It’s Master Qui Gon’s.”

Swans gripped Qui Gon’s arm for support. “What the fuck Anakin? Why would you do that?”

“He was the first one who recognized my talent. I wanted to honor his memory.”

“So put up a picture or make a nice plaque but don’t desecrate a grave. Gods Anakin, how could you?” Obi-Wan spat.

“Are you positive that’s my skull?” Qui Gon took Swans' hand in his.

Anakin cringed. “Yeah. Um, I had a black diamond set in the forehead.”

“Well, a resurrected Darth Ruin is a nuisance but this is unacceptable. We’re shutting this down.” Swans ordered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be one of the most demented things I’ve ever written. When I reread it, I’m sort of proud.


	71. Master and Padawan

Ap’Lek stared at Mace Windu. "You could join The Knights of Ren. Find your true potential."

Mace lowered his saber and tilted his head. "What did you just say to me, son?"

"You could be a powerful Knight."

"Young man, I don’t think you know who you’re talking to. I am _Master_ Windu. Jedi Knight and member of the Jedi Council of the Netherworld of the Force.”

"You’re dead." The Knight mocked. "What are you gonna do, scare me to death?"

Mace noticed Sola’s hand tense. "My dear Padawan, do not force blast them. It’s been years since I had the pleasure of exterminating villainous scum. Please don’t deny an old Jedi some fun."

Ap’Lek and the twelve black clad warriors behind him simultaneously lifted battle axes. 

Mace burst out laughing. "You’re trying battle meditation? That’s going to give you a headache, young man."

Sola looked around nervously. "Do you think they’re wearing body cameras?"

Mace pursed his lips. "Just try not to decapitate anyone this one time."

"Right back at you, Master."

Ap’Lek was the first to move. He thrust at Mace, who deflected the blow and struck his opponent's right shoulder gingerly. The Knight drooped over clutching his arm.

One of the Knights-in-training closed the gap with Sola charging in with aggression. Sola caught him and deflected his blade away. The trainee, unmatched and overpowered, lost his grip on the ax which landed on the floor. As he tried to crawl away Sola slashed him along the spine and force blasted him out of her path.

 _That was a bit harsh_ , she admonished herself.

Mace advanced on the remaining Knights-in-training with clean, crisp blows. 

"You have such nice form Master!" Sola called out. 

"Why, thank you dear."

He spun toward his opponent with a sweeping upward blow, knocking him to the ground. He slashed straight his attacker straight through to the heart.

A Knights in training barreled through towards Sola. She jumped up on a hospital bed, gaining the upper ground and striking with a series of overhanded blows. She changed her grip to strike with more force. The trainee’s robe was slashed as Sola’s saber struck closer to his core. She kicked him to the ground and watched him, curious at what he would attempt next. 

Solo hopped down to his level and allowed him to get up. She waited for him to strike, using his own momentum against him. With his body weight shifted down, she brought her saber back up in a arching swing that caught the trainee in the neck. His head fell to the ground with a dull thud.

The remaining Knights-in-training fled. 

Sola looked around for Ap’Lek who was nowhere to be found. "Well, damn it. I still have your pinky!" She called out. 

Mace smiled "That’s OK my dear one. He’s injured, he won’t get far." 

Sola wiped her hair out of her eyes. "How did I do, Master? Do you think I was striking from a high enough guard position?"

He clamped a large hand on her shoulder. "You always make me proud." He holstered his lightsaber. "You do have a tendency of keeping your saber too close to your centerline. But your parries are, to me, very economic." His smile faded. "I’m sorry to say one of those boys was definitely wearing a body camera."

Sola frowned. Another video. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this scene early on - Mace Windu is one of my favorite characters. I based Sola on him and wanted her to embody his fierce spirit and tendency to decapitate.


	72. Finding Him

Jinn and Poe raced into the freighter. As Jinn drew her saber, she wondered what Bariss Offee say? This was everything her Master instructed her to avoid: confrontation, seeking out victims, basing her decisions on attachments. But he was here, somewhere.

The freighter was typical First Order, new, shiny black and white. Poe jumped as a sanitation droid rolled past them silently. He followed Jinn who seemed to be guided by instinct. 

He stopped in his tracks when they reached the massive main hanger. It had been converted into a makeshift hospital. Rows upon rows of resistance soldiers, civilians and troopers lay on cots hooked up to med units. Tubes pumped fluid into their veins.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Jinn gulped. "I think these are the fresh corpses the cultists ordered."

Poe turned to Jinn. "What do we do?"

"Get those tubes out of them!"

"What? How?"

"We don’t have time to be gentle. Just yank em out." Jinn started pulling tubes. She could hear footsteps in the distance. 

"Jinn, my gods, there’s like 200 of them!"

She let out a strangled scream as she saw Wipolo across the freighter. His warm bronze skin looked ashen. Two Knights of Ren charged into the room. 

Jinn raced to him, unhooking him quickly. He was still warm, still alive, still hers, still perfect.

Poe continued to work on the tubes as the Knights advanced. 

“Keep going, keep going!” She called to him. Rage roiled inside her and she whirled around to face the Knights. “How DARE you!”

The Knights paused, noting Jinn’s scrubs. One of them twirled an executioner's ax. "Look, it's a nurse. We could use one of those.”

“Hell yes! It’s starting to stink in here. Grab a mop honey.”

Jinn ignited her lightsaber and the Knights took a slight step back. “You will repay the universe for your sins.”

“What is she talking about?”

“I don’t think she’s a nurse.”

Jinn ignited her lightsaber and swung at the pair saber wildy. One of the Knights raised a plasma rifle at her, firing directly at her chest. Jinn’s eyes narrowed as she caught the bolt, the plasma warm in her fingers for a moment before she flung it to the ceiling and ran the shooter through the chest.

Poe looked up in time to see Jinn using the downward momentum of her saber’s blade to burn a hole into the second Knight’s knee and then bring it up, slicing up into his thigh. The Knight’s screams echoed in the freighter. Jinn turned back to Wipolo. The Knight raised himself up and took aim at Jinn. Poe’s blaster hit him squarely in the neck, dropping him before he could get off a shot.


	73. This ends now.

Starlings leg ached where she was bitten. She longed to be home in the comfort of the Netherworld. But Ben was here and the horror of this cave was he only thing that mattered. Blue dust and screaming faces are everywhere. She watched as her Father, Swans, Anakin and Qui Gon battled simultaneously against the clawing cultists and bulky black clad Knights. 

Her vision blurred as she drug herself forward to face the onslaught of blue arms and scratching fingers. Anakin Skywalker reached out to steady her. "It’s OK. I’ve got you. Just keep your blade low, protect yourself.”

Starling swiped her blade at a cultist’s clawing ha des, chopping them off. She recoiled as a thumb fell on her shoe.

Anakin held her by the elbow. “You’re doing great, you’re doing really great.”

→ →

Ben's eyes opened to a nightmarish vision. Grotesque blue forms were swimming before his eyes, blood was running down his arm but he could not move to stop it. Through a hazy jumble, he could sense Rey’s presence. She was close, somewhere in the midst of this horrible scene. His eyes searched the large cave, seeing things that could not be real. Lightsabers, Knights of Ren, collapsing bodies, holes in the ground, faces coated in blue dust. Rey shouldn’t be here. He didn’t want her to be here. 

He saw her next to what appeared to be Anakin Skywalker. What a strange nightmare. He needed to be near Rey, he needed her...

→ →

Rey gasped as Ben teleported forward. He had not moved far but he was away from Manzuzuu. She and Obi-Wan made a break for him. They tried to pull the wreath off his neck but it threw them back. 

→ →

Rey watched as Obi-Wan tried to help Ben. She spotted Finn as he ran for the door. She was about to chase after him when she made a decision. She ran through cultists to the altar. She focused all her force on Manzuzuu, yanking her legs down with a force chain. Manzuzuu held tight to the cup of blood but the skull and scroll tumbled out of her hands. 

Rey grabbed both items. “This ends now.”

“No!” The cultist’s scream was deafening. 

Throwing her a challenging look. “Get that thing off Ben’s neck or I burn both of these.” 

“Fuck you!” Manzuzuu screeched. 

“Do it now!” Rey’s voice was low and cold.

Rey held the scroll up to her saber, smiling as the ancient paper started to singe. 

“No, no, no! Stop!” The cultist whimpered. 

“Help him.” Rey commanded.

Manzuzuu shook her head. “We don’t need him anymore. His blood is all that matters. Whatever is left of Kylo belongs to the Knights of Ren.” 

→ →

Obi-Wan focused his energy on Ben. The power of the amber crystals was numbing, there was no moving the wreath. Facing the sickening, combined power of the crystals was too much. 

“Damnit, those things _are_ my fault. Sorry but into the graveyou must go.”  
  


Ben looked up at Obi-Wan with blurry eyes. He blinked hard trying to make sense of his words. “I don’t want to die again.” He pleaded.

Before he could draw a breath, Obi-Wan collapsed the ground below him. He fell and fell, down a narrow hole, the wreath caught at the top of the hole. _That was it_ , he thought, _I’m dead_. Buried and soon to be extinguished again. Obi-Wan carved out the ground on either side of him, more dirt collapsed on top of him. He lost consciousness.

→ →

Obi-Wan turned to Anakin. “Assist me, please.” 

“But I’m terrible at this!”

“I will help.” Starlings appeared, stepping close to Anakin’s side. They pulled against the weight of dirt, slowly forcing Ben’s body sideway and away from the wreath. They breathed together to bring Ben up and out of the ground. He emerged from a grave of dirt and blue dust, his body limp.

“Take him and go.” Obi-Wan ordered. Swans and Qui Gon lifted Ben up off the floor. Obi-Wan concentrated next on the crystals, hurling them one by one off the wreath and out of the cave. He knew it was selfish but it would be a shame to allow such a helpful set of stones fall into the wrong hands.  
  
→ →

Rey stared at the carnage of room. The Knights who could still move were crawling or limping out the door. The cultists continue to swarm. 

She caught Obi-Wan’s eye. She mouthed the word ‘Retreat.” 

He hesitated for a moment before nodding. He signaled for the group to reform their circle. They edged toward the door, Anakin supported Starlings who was limping badly. Obi-Wan's eyes remained on Rey as he led the group out. 

Seeing Ben was safe, Rey turned back to Manzuzuu. She burned her lightsaber into the bejeweled skull, slicing it again and again. She silently sent apologies to Master Qui Gon. 

“Nooo!” Manzuu recoiled, grabbing at the scroll. 

Rey sliced through the scroll into Manzuzuu’s heart. The cup of blood spilled out of her hands onto the floor. 

Cultists raced toward Manzuzuu’s dead body, tearing into her flesh. The young cultist’s leg braces twisted as teeth tore into her legs.

Rey made a mad dash for the door. She kicked and swung her way through the throngs of blue bodies. She raced up the tunnels, not glancing at the old cultists waiting in their graves, not looking at the catacombs. Blue dust was filling her eyes and she made a wrong turn. 


	74. Blocking Her Path

→ →

“You fucking bitch.” A bloody Knight of Ren blocked Rey's path. He held a massive vibrio-ax. Behind him, five other Knights stood ready.

“I am Ap’Lek Ren and in the name of the Knights of Ren, I command you to stop.” 

Rey shook her head. She ignited her lightsaber. “I will not stop for you.”

“Rey with no name. All alone with no one." He mocked. "Your time with Kylo Ren has ended. You failed.” 

Rey realized he had not passed her group. There must be many other tunnels in and out of the cave. He did not know they were escaping. She could sense they were still dragging Ben out. Starlings was limping. She needed to buy them time.

She struck his blade, allowing the Knight to block her easily. She focused on conservation of movement, let these assholes think they had things under control.

“How could a nameless little whore cause so much trouble? What did you give Kylo a Jedi blow job?”

“Yes.” She said smiling through clenched teeth. “And then I let him fuck me without his mask on.”

“You destroyed him. You ruined everything. He turned on his friends”

Rey’s eyes narrowed. “He helped the Resistance track you. Did you know that?”

“When Kylo Ren returns to us, we are going to hunt your mangy ass down. Cut you into pieces and dump you back on Jakku.”

Sola appeared behind Rey. She held a lightsaber in one hand and a heavy object in the other hand. Something was dripping on the floor, Rey could feel whatever it was dripping down her leg. Sola shifted her feet, moving the dripping object away from her.

Ap’Lek started to shake at the sight of Sola. She held up the masked, decapitated head of a Knight, her hand covered in blood. “You’re next.” She launched the bloody stump of a head toward the group of Knights.

Ap’Lek stared into the Sola’s beautiful angelic face, splattered with blood, and ran back into the depths of the cave. 


	75. Ready to Go

Sola tried to wipe blood off her face but only succeeded in smearing it. She smiled sweetly at Rey. "Are you ready to go?"

They exited the cave, the wind whipped across the barren landscape. As they found the rest of the group. Rey saw Jinn and dark haired young man kneeling over Starlings. Their hands were joined over her ankle, blue-ish light radiating from their hands. Obi-Wan nodded to her and, without needing to speak, they joined with Anakin, Swans and Qui Gon to combine their Force energy to collapse the overhanging opening of the massive cave. Chunks of rock thundered down, echoing below. 

Rey turned to Obi-Wan. “There must be other ways in -”

“Yes, that’s where we found him.”

Mace Windu held Finn suspended several feet off the ground. “Bow your head when I speak to you, young man.” He moved Finn’s head, forcing him to nod. “I am not fond of repeating myself so you’d be well served to listen.” 

“You don’t have any authority over me!” Finn snarled.

Mace looked up at him. "Looks like I have all the authority I need.” 

Poe stepped forward. “Your life will be spared but we can’t trust your judgement. You are guilty of traitorous acts. You freed our enemies and turned your own soldiers over to the cultists. You allowed Elliver Olim to be killed in front of you and you did nothing. You are no longer welcome with the Resistance.”

Rey put her hand on Poe’s shaking shoulders and stared up at Finn. “Don’t banish him over the same crimes as Ben. They both fell under influences more powerful than they could understand.”

Poe turned away from Finn with sadness. “Fine but I never want to see him again. Ever.”

→ →

The cargo hold of the Fortitude was large enough to accommodate 34 of the sedated soldiers Poe and Jinn had discovered hooked up to med-droids. Most of them were still unconscious or incoherent. Wipolo and Jinn tended to them, pausing for moments to whisper to each other. The others awaited transport on Exegol watched over by Swans and Beaumont. Poe piloted the Fortitude while Rose navigated and coordinated with Yavin 4 about evacuating the remaining soldiers.

Rey hovered over Ben in the cramped crew’s quarters. According to Jinn, he had suffered electrical shock and the exposure to the amber healing crystals had paralyzed his spine. He had shown no sign of movement so far so the extent of his injuries was still unknown. Rey held his hand, calling out to his Force over and over.

→ →

Kylo Ren heard the hum and rattle of engines. His skin prickled with the cold, recycled air of a ship. It hurt to open his eyes. Even through his closed eyelids, it was too bright. There were voices, he was being touched. He lacked the strength to turn his head to see who was there. Whatever they were doing felt nice. He did not struggle and allowed himself to slip backwards into the haze of sleep.

There was was a voice speaking. The tones rose and fell, the words were a jumble, moving too fast. He felt drunk. His hand was being held but he couldn’t manage to pull it away. He concentrated but could not move his body. With great effort, he managed to turn his head. The lights bore into his head and he squinted to make sense of the blurry shapes and colors. 

There was a girl beside him. She was so pretty with hazel eyes and refined features set on a child-like face. He had an irrational urge to kiss her ears. Her eyes scanned his face closely as something clicked in his mind.

“I remember you. You're that girl from the forest. The Scavenger.” His voice is filled with scorn. 

The effect of his words was instant. She recoiled, shrinking back, a gasp escaped her throat.

→ →  
He didn’t remember her. Their connection, destroying Snoke together, reaching out to each other through the force, their battles, facing the Emperor together, his sacrifice, their love, their baby. The moment in the forest was all he knew of her. Everything was gone.

She fought to regain some semblance of control. “You - you carried me to your ship.”

He couldn’t hide his confusion. “I don’t remember doing that.”

 _Oh Gods. Nothing._

“Where am I?” He fought against the numbness to move his neck.

“You're my guest.” She whispered, echoing his words from long ago. She didn’t even bother to hide her tears which alarmed him even further. They ran down her face in rivers. 

Kylo watched as the girl reached out to stroke his face. A ripple of unknown emotion coursed through him. Her fingers were so light on his cheek. He flinched at her touch and a sob escaped her throat. This was, by far, the strangest thing that had ever happened to him.

He couldn’t move a muscle. He could feel the space between them vibrate and shimmer. The Force. 

Her words were choked out between sobs. “Don't be afraid. I feel it too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If by any chance, anyone has actually read this entire thing, I would love any feedback or comments. I love my characters and want them to ring true. Action sequences are not my thing and I must apologize for the unholy mess of the final 10 chapters!
> 
> The story continues in the sequel to this called In Between Days.


End file.
